On Sunday 17th Oct at 9.35 pm, my only ever true love passed away in our local hospice, thankfully I she was in my arms when she went. I knew it would be tough but never this much. I feel incapable of doing anything, nothing seems real anymore. Often I think this is just a really bad dream and she will walk in the door anytime.
As we met in our later years 6 years ago we genuinely had an incredibly strong loving relationship, she was quite literally my everything and understood me totally and loved me being who I am, just as I did her. Now it’s all just gone, no more walking holding hands, meals out together, cruise holidays, etc…. At times when I do have anything like a pleasant thought I feel overwhelmed by guilt thinking about how unwell she was and the suffering she went through in just a few months.
just how the hell do you “get over it” I am absolutely dreading her funeral, I have always been an emotional person and cannot imagine being able to cope at her funeral and my last goodbye.
HELP please anybody 
Dear Tillys Dad,
Your time together was special, your memories are what keep you together always, please don't feel guilty of thinking of the good ones.
Please consider joining THIS forum, where others who have had such a devastating loss will be able to offer you some comfort and where you will hopefully be able to express yourself further and feel safe doing so.
(( hugs )) sent your way.
Thinking of you
Lowe'
Oh, Tillys dad, I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you a huge virtual hug,
Don't be too hard on yourself. It's very early days and grieving takes time....it takes as long as takes too. Don't even think about how to "get over it" yet. Take thing slowly. Take it one step at a time.
I'm an emotional person too and I'm a wreck every time I lose someone so I can empathise with you there. My husband is terminally ill and I'm dreading that last goodbye.
It may be too soon but there is a Bereaved spouses and partners forum - Macmillan Online Community on the site. When you feel ready, that may be a good group to draw some support from. Remember It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week if you think that would help you too.
For now, stay strong. Take this at your pace and you'll get through the next few difficult days/weeks.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
