I'm not me

Oh I’m so sorry… you’ve had a rough time of it.  People don’t seem to realise that caring for a person with cancer takes so much out of you, physically and emotionally.  And you’ve been doing it for 5 years.  And they’re complaining about something trivial like the state of house cleaning?  You’re taking care of yourself and him and the household and working- it’s too much.  I was able to take a month off to help when my husband was at his sickest.  I was exhausted but he laughed saying why was I exhausted taking over his responsibilities?  He didn’t seem to realise that yes I was off work but taking on all of his household jobs plus my regular household jobs plus caring for him plus dealing with the emotional stress of his illness.  If I’d had to work on top of it I wouldn’t have made it.

And now you’re dealing with the worst news.  I’m sure you’re trying to stay on top of everything while trying to help emotionally and I can’t imagine anything harder.   Don’t let anyone put any guilt on you for things you just don’t have any more energy for.  To me it sounds like you’ve already spent every ounce of energy you had.   You deserve to be angry.  It is really lousy.  I wish I could give you a big hug. I hope you are able to get some time off and rest yourself too.  Best wishes.

I think most of us on here can relate to what you are going through. People that are not in our position would have no idea how emotionally and physically drained it can be looking after some one with terminal cancer. It seems a bit unfair for someone to criticise your home when you have so much on your plate.

My husband  was also told his cancer is not curable. To watch a big strong man that he was deteriorating bit by bit from this horrible disease is heartbreaking. Like you I have bad days when I cry other times I am angry and frustrated so all over the place.
It sounds like you are doing well under the circumstances going to work as well as looking after your husband .I am not sure I could  work now to old anyway but sometimes I think the distraction might be nice. 
Wishing you strength to get through this. Try and not be too hard on yourself and get some rest xx

Thank you,  it is so hard to juggle time to fit around what needs doing.  

It is so good to hear that I am not the only one that feels like this and that I am not a failure because I let certain things get on top of me.

Sending best wishes x

Thank you so much for your kind words.  

I really appreciate the reply and good to know I am not alone. 

Best wishes x

You are the true superwoman.  It is incredibly draining doing what you are doing.  I am sorry your partner's family isn't emotionally or practically supportive during such a difficult time for you both.  You are not meant to do it all on your own.  My husband's cancer journey started 2 years ago when I was 4 months pregnant with our 3rd child.  It was then diagnosed incurable as it had travelled to his liver.  He did 2 rounds of 6 months each chemotherapy.  He has had 1 major surgery and 2 keyhole surgeries and is now recovering from the latest surgery.  Emotionally it has been very difficult for me as he has been traumatised by this all and often  making negative comments.  He has had his times of being depressed, but not aware of it.  The poor children haven't had their dad 100% there.  His way of coping was to just work on the house and basically keep himself mentally away from us as otherwise he probably wouldn't have coped.  There are so many facets to this cancer journey that people who haven't been through it just don't know about.  Please know that you are not alone.  I just want a big, comforting hug during times like these.   So sending you a big virtual hug.  Sarah x

Just remember you are awesome way beyond…we all should create a group .