My worst day yet, never felt so low !

So sorry to hear you arent coping very well Paul, like you I feel my husband is my world, he's the light of my life and I csnt imagine what it will be like without him. My husband has terminal cancer, started in the bile duct and spread too much to operate. Some days I just csnt stop crying and I dont know how I will carry on through life alone when he has gone. It's tough but it's going to get tougher, we can only do our best for them and stay strong. Take care x

Thank you so much for your reply, and advice. You will appreciate that having the thoughts and feelings I do then makes me feel overwhelmed with guilt, that I am letting my wife down.

You're not letting her down, you are bound to feel like this at times, at my lowest I googled the easiest way out etc, but back to my senses and my husband wouldn't want me to do that, he would want me to be strong as I am sure your wife would want you to be strong too. You dont need to feel guilty. Just know you're not alone, many of us have these dark thoughts but we have to carry on for the sake of our loved ones. All the best, if it's a bad day today tomorrow will be a good day, that's what I try to tell myself. X

Thank you, your words have helped me greatly x

I suspect many of us can empathise - even more, we’re right there. My husband is in the final stages of terminal secondary liver cancer. He is heart breakingly frail and having a wretched time. But selfishly I want to keep him with me as long as possible. As miserable as the present is, the thought of the future without him is unbearable. 

wish you strength and courage. Not easy, I know. 

Thank you Amanda for your words of support, I wish you well for the future x