Getting over Sadness and Grieving

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To anyone who read this.

husband got small cell invasive lung cancer stage 4 

chemo/immunotherapy didn’t work and doctors suggested radiotherapy and awaiting dates to do it.

My same sex partner ,husband ,best friend,love,life …..my everything..I can’t imagine a life without him…

i have cried days and night.sadness and negativity overtook my life.

but somewhere in me now starting to wake up a much stronger version of myself .

i will fight with him,look after him as much as I can,love him unconditionally and if he live or die I will equally be happy for him.

easier said than done.

but That’s the sort of street I am at right now.

I learned a lot about love and why we are so afraid to lose it ,

grieving seems to have been playing hide and seek the whole time,the only thing is I just found it ..

my life is valuable .and important.it’s up to me to decide ,am I going to keep grieving or find solutions to go ahead and achieve bigger ,better things.

we as humans have great amount of physical and emotional strength that we hardly tap into during daily life.

situation like what most us are going through, make us see the world differently .it help us get a better sense of how things are and what they are made of.

we may be different but we are physically and emotionally much stronger than others.

because we have been shaped by a life changing experience.

You can always talk to me .

we are here for each other.

hugss 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thanks what a beautiful sentiment.  Yes sometimes the grief and worry is overwhelming.  Sometimes it only lurks under the surface of daily life.  People at work ask “how can you even get through your days?” But those of us going through it know - it is our special burden, our inside secret.  Some days are almost normal and we can almost forget.  And then sometimes for no reason at all the tidal wave comes crashing down on us.  (For example, suddenly bursting into tears in the supermarket.)  And then sometimes we know why - we experience the enormous pain and suffering and loss of the person and personality we knew and loved.  I am very straightforward when people ask.  My husband has been given a 50-50 chance of survival. So much better than the worst case - some days we are happily optimistic we will get through this.  So much worse than normal life - some days we think of the tragedy of the chance of the bad 50% and it is unbearable.  Thank you yes - we are already physically and emotionally stronger than so many others and yes we have been shaped by a life changing experience.

  • See.I knew someone out there will be prolly feeling the same way I feel. 
    thanks for the reply juppy.

    yeah supermarket sudden burst over . Very relatable .but it is what it is. 
    I want to be happy . It’s a choice I made . I will be sad if my husband die . 
    At least I did the best I can and he wouldn’t want me to cry for the rest of my life though. 
    so I am growing  stronger.

    you sounds the same though. 
    I think we are on the right track . 
    hugss