Finding it hard to sleep

Hi ,

Sorry to hear about your auntie, what you are talking about does seem to be very common.

Sometimes it can help just to reflect what is said rather than actually try to answer - I can be very good at doing this with other people though perhaps less good at applying it to myself ( :-( ). One thing my wife suggested some time ago is that essentially she might be talking her problems through to herself and was not really looking for me to make suggestions.

One thing that helped me a lot was to do a living with less stress course. A key element was learning to live in the here and now as I was planning all sorts of things in a dark future - most of which never actually arrived. More direct on your initial question though was the conscious breathing exercises - they are really great when we get hit by the unexpected but are actually quite good as a relaxation tool too.

<<hugs>>

Steve 

Hi mint stick - I'm sorry to hear about your Auntie's cancer.  I care 24 hours a day for my mum and know exactly what you're talking about, mum goes on and on and on about something that's worrying her, but often when I try to find a solution to the problem she won't hear it.  In the end I sometimes resort to subliminal advertising!  She has a lot of pain in her knee, particularly, and wouldn't have any suggestions about using ibuprofen gel (Dr confirmed ok).  I got a tube and left it on the table next to mum and later on she said "Can I try using that?"  

I'm not sure if it's your or your Auntie who has trouble sleeping but as src60 says breathing exercises really work - I do the one where you breathe in for 3 counts then out for 4 counts - you have to concentrate on it and it gets everything else out of your head.  I also use lavender essential oil, mum has restless legs and says it stops it completely.  Apart from anything else it smells nice!

Thank you for your advice and I will try subliminal advertising. Sorry to hear about your mom its so hard to watch someone you love going through a hard time. I will also give the breathing  exercises ago. 

Take care

Thank you for your advice and I have been doing the same planning things that I know are proberly not going to happen as she is really poorly and is so exhausted all the time. So I will just listen and not make any suggestions think your right she just wants to talk and for me to listen.

Thank you

I am finding the same thing with my Mum - yet if one of her friends says something she seems to listen!  A friend who has had cancer basically told me that she didn't listen to anything her family told her and that I just needed to try and accept the frustration of it all and as you say above, just to listen. It was great to hear her say that but it's hard to apply it.  Sending lots of love to you xx