Cancer of unknown and so afraid

Just a breath at a time; then a minute at a time and so on. So sorry you are going through this, life can be so very cruel at times, but you are not alone….we are all on here for the same reason. Do you have any relatives or friends that you can speak to? I would suggest a chat with your GP if you are able to get an appointment. There are some wonderful people on here, you could chat to your local Macmillan nurse, they are wonderful. All the best, 

liz 

X

So very sorry to hear your story. Try not to think too far ahead at this stage. You need time to gather your thoughts and take it all in. Ive found just getting through the next hour or day much easier than thinking of the next week or month..... 

Take care of yourself so you can be strong for your husband. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts and wishes. x

So sorry to hear this. Lies is cruel. My husband (we’ve recently celebrated our 20th anniversary) is also on palliative care now as his prostate cancer has spread to lots of places. He’s currently in hospital, which is the last place he wants to be, as he may have a blood clot and need a blood transfusion due to a low blood count. I’m at home on my own and it’s so quiet. I do have amazing family who would be here in a heartbeat if I asked them to, but I think I need time to start to get used to this. On another post yesterday someone posted a link to a really good article about anticipatory grief and it was a good read so here it is https://whatsyourgrief.com/anticipatory-grief/

It might help you a little but just get through this however you can. I use sleep stories (otherwise my brain doesn’t shut up) and running which just gives me a short respite. Also if you need to cry just do it- I tend to let it out on the shower so my hubby can’t hear. Don try to talk to people as it helps to get it out - I tried not to burden my family with it to start with but now I’ve realised that makes them worry more. And there is always someone on here to listen when you need it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We all need it. 
Take care  

Jillybean x x

Thankyou for your kind words.I should talk to other people but nobody understands unless you have been through it. 

I struugl from opening my eyes on a morning to trying to get to sleep  at night,my mind wont switch off and cant bare the thought of loosing him he means the world to me.

You’re right -no one does understand but just getting your feelings out can ease the pain a little. I also have two journals that I use. One is for the bad thoughts and feelings (which I intend to destroy later on) and then another to record when we have nice times- which can be as small as laughing at something funny one of us says. 
Even with all the things I’m doing the pain never really goes away and the tears are always close so I find I have to keep very busy. I daren’t stop and sit still as that’s when me feelings overwhelm me. My husband is the love of my life (second marriage ) and we were supposed to grow old together. He has only just turned 60 and I am 52 - why is it always the good guys 

I too am trying to cope by keeping busy as you say its when you stop, my husband has just turned 60 and i am 55 we have been together since i was 17 so cannot bare to think of been without him. Thankfully we have a lovely son and daughter but  dont want to put this all on them  and there dad doesn't want them remebering him weak and ill as he has always been so strong at 6ft 2 and done everything at home now can barely make the stairs. He has worked all his life and said was going to retire  this year, like you say its allways the good ones.