My husband who is only 55 has terminal cancer, lung metasteses from head and neck cancer . He says he has always excepted his fate and even before they sad it had spread he said he accepted/expected it would become terminal so was prepared when we were told. He managed to continue with normal activities until a couple of weeks ago then things changed. He has more symptoms fatigued and short of breath on climbing stairs etc. He has also taken to his bed and I feel is pushing me away, he doesn’t really like me close to him He tells me to go upstairs to bed despite me having a z bed set up next to his downstairs, we need to sort his affairs eg bank, I need passwords etc but he is reluctant he gets irritated and says he is too tired and to do another day. He lies on the bed 24 hours doesn’t want to sit in the garden, go out in the car. It all seems to have escalated since the palliative consultant called him unfortunately it was the only time I had popped out, he told me she said he had days to weeks to live, I questioned him as thought strange to say. He then said she said he had a shorter rather than linger time to live and he interpreted it as days to weeks. I am getting very isolated, tearful and lonely not feeling like a wife anymore, has anyone experienced there loved one change drastically and become distant Thanks
Hi Roberta8,
yes we have had a terrible day today. My husband has had terrible symptoms of mucus build up in throat can hear it gurgling he is trying to cough but very difficult has to go on all fours and bend head forward. He is on medication to thin mucus and saline nebulisers to help open airways but exhausted by it all . He is not sleeping because of it I contacted palliative team who said to carry on with nebulisers and cut down on milky drinks but he is only having drinks since will affect his nutrition. Also, we had a bad morning because he was trying to show me his laptop with financial information etc but ended up locking himself out of on line banking then too exhausted to phone and has no voice anyway. He is really down saying wouldn’t treat a dog like this. Palliative team only 9-5 so I will phone again in morning. He is supposed that be having a operation on Wednesday to his vocal cords so he can speak , it went wrong the first time. He was desperate to still have operation as been horrible not speaking. I’m not sure if anaesthetist will be happy to do as deteriorating so much, if they don’t he will definitely go ve up. I felt like my head was going to explode today I didn’t know what to do I felt very angry I banged doors and threw the dogs metal dish around garden. It is just terrible he is such a lovely lovely man never hurt a fly so kind, never smoked drank worked all his life helps anyone , just why is he suffering so much. He is only 55 had so so much to live for so much to give very interesting and intelligent,
gentlewaves 
