Hi,
My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in November 2020 and it has been a rollercoaster. Her first 2 rounds of chemo resulted in overnight stays in hospital; the second because of her PICC line (caused a small blood clot) which was removed and then a new one put in. She is now on the second half of her Chemo and recently we've had confirmation that the mass has shrunk massively thank goodness. She will eventually have her mastectomy and potentially radiotherapy.
At the same time as my wife's diagnosis, we began looking after our toddler niece because her sisters relationship broke down and the dad was useless. In order for her to continue working she needed us to step in to be 50% parents to help raise our niece. The majority of this fall's to me as my wife doesn't drive and obviously has cancer so doesn't have the energy to help at times. This means that I do the cooking, cleaning, nursery pick up and drop off and doing my best to be a home 'nurse' for my wife.
We both work full time too and I'm exhausted. I knew that chemo was going to be awful but I was not prepared for the additional trips to the Cancer centre, the ambulance call outs, the constant changing of the bandage around the new PICC line because it's slightly uncomfortable/changed position/needs to be aired. The feeling guilty about prioritising who needs a bath first between our niece and my wife. Feeling guilty about wanting to wash my hair when my wife no longer has any. Having to suddenly deal with suicidal conversations being dropped in at midnight. Being woken up at 6:30am on my day off to put the bandage back on that she's taken off while I've been asleep.
I am so tired. Am I wrong/selfish to once my wife's treatment is over, want to go to my parents home for a week by myself so that I don't have to run after someone else.
I know the above makes me an awful person but I am really tired today.
