Just wonderd if anyone could tell me if you should talk to your husband/ wife about there terminal cancer since we got told i have not spoken about it to my husband i give him all the care he needs but just can't bring myself to talk about it as if I did I would just breake down people say look after yourself to but I've just gone into this mode were im justva carer if that make sence I just want to break down and say why is this fair but I have to stay strong
Hi Hondabike
I'm so sorry to hear that you've both been given this awful news. Like LC 50 , my husband has an incurable brain tumour. HIs tumour was on/in the speech and language centre of the brain so as time goes on speaking itself is becoming more of a challenge as he loses more and more words. (We're all becoming champions at charades).
He got his diagnosis in late August and surgery to de-bulk the tumour 2 weeks later. Initially we talked about things. After the surgery that became more difficult for a while. As LC 50 says, the difficult conversations happen as and when. My husband usually wants to talk more if my son is out of the house.
As for breaking down, that's allowed. We as wives/partners and carers are going through an emotional journey too here and its ok to be upset. It's normal. It's ok to be angry and frustrated and to feel guilty. Those emotions are what makes us human beings but they don't mean we are weaker because of them.
For what it's worth, my advice is take it one step at a time. Talk things through when you're both in a frame of mind to talk, ask the medical team all your questions to make sure you understand what's going on.
It's a rough journey but we're all stronger than we think (or so I keep being told) and we'll get through it, The folk on here are a great support too as we're all on this journey together.
Hang in there
Big hugs
Wee Me xx
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