THE ORIGINAL GANG OF MUSHROOM ROPE BUILDERS (i.e Mel & Em's thread cont...)
FormerMember
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This is the start of a new journey for me and my much loved friends from the original Oesophegus thread on general discussions.
We have become a close group and this will be our new home to continue our journey as life has become very hard for many of us and we keep re-living our journeys with lots of newbies which puts us all back a bit.
So my lovely friends Mel, Sam, Helen, Bern, Jac, Nic, Dawn, Sue, Cath, Lesley, Jani and the many other special friends Mel and I have made over the last 16 months this is it we have a new home.
Love to all and extra strength to carry us through our next stage XXX
FormerMember
San, how you doing sweetie? I have a question for you, I hope its not too personal? Where did you get the name Mrs Rabbit??!! I'm intrigued!!!!
Come on Jac, we have a lovely cup of tea here and if you want Sandra will get you a lovely pint of Guinness.
Helen - hope your day has been ok. We have scrumpy for you, if you need it.
This is so wrong, I wish there was something I could say or do to make it better, we all do.
I know that the doctors use all their little cliche sayings like "A matter of time" "How long is a piece of string?" and it's just so unbearable that you think that your body and mind cannot take any more.
Some of us have been there, some of us have lost parents, some have lost soul mates, and what I can share with you is that sometimes when we are peering into the distance to see then end of that piece of string, your not looking at the leng of twine already in your hand.
I believe this may be one of those things that can only be understood when we are at the place of 'After'. Before I felt like you, and everyone told me to look at now not tomorrow, and I just couldn't. Then when Mum left this world I really regretted not holding onto the moments more.
It's more than that, it's holding onto the moments with happiness rather than sadness because they are here and with us, and we can hold them and love them and tell them that everything will be ok.
I wish I could ease the pain for you Jac, they may seem like meaningless words that people always throw out, but each and everyone of us holds you and DH in our hearts. Remember you are not alone, remember we are always with you.
Ahhhhhh.....righto. Clever bunny!!!! Hey never too early for Guinness. Jacs, do you want a brandy or whisky?? I will make it a hot toddie for you, if you are going to be all sensible and stuff!!!
Look I know I have lost internet connection and found some just for today, so I expect you all to be here!! Where has everyone gone? San what have you done with them?? Are you hiding them for me??
Well, Harvey Rabbit I am going to pass you my special batfink wings cause I am not around until next week unless the new laptop has wifi?!! If it ever turns up. Sorry, I digressed!! Your mission, which you must accept, is to guard these wings an give them to those who need special protection. Jac, if you don't come out, we will end up putting them on you upside down and then you will be walking on your head!!
Everybody, don't hide away. I am shining a great big bloody torch your way. You will have to wear shades cause it is so bright. The beauty is we have all met for a reason. The hardest bit is when we want to hide and go into our cocoon is to come and talk and talk and talk. You must make those steps, please. I can't give you a band aid to fix your pain. Just keeping it all inside you, just hurts more. Feeling alone drains your energy and can put out your spirit.
Wel, I a going to shout it from the roof tops. You are wonderful, beautiful people. My guardian angel was lookng after me when I found you all. Yours is too. We have found each other for reason, so never give up hope. Love Bern xx
Mel - they are yours, to do with what you will. I'm only back from the day. Where is everyone?? How is Kelsey's dad getting on? Have you ever heard how Graham is who used to be on the original thread? I often think of him....I will post and see if he is around.
(((((((((((((((Jac)))))))))))))))))))) Pick yourself up and try again! sounds daft but you have been doin g it for such a long time you know the drill XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Thanks ladies for understanding how upsetting it is for all my mums club group to cope with the loss of Jake. I looked at some beautiful pictures of him tpday celebrating his 2nd birthday and was in tears he was born the same day as Aspen(11/08/06) :-(
Mel, Not sure whats going on has somebody upset you??? felt a bit of tension but brain not on form so not able to see whats happened?
Anyway love and strength to each and everyone of you especially our brave doll and wonderful Jac XXX
Hiya Can't stop - must cook dinner (working nowadays!). Just to say hi to old friends, what a blast this thread is, can I join in now and again when I can? Jac - whaddya think of the new name, huh? Remember? I've decided I've spent enough time in the garden, it's time to get out and flash those new buns, peachier than ever! Know what the clouds feel like and hope I can join with the others to part them so you can see the sun and the stars again. Thinking of Helen, hope you're okay babes. Lots of love, I've never left you you know! Fi xxx
Right ladies...have cried now beyond the point of no return....went to chapel beside hospital......cried our bloody eyes out....few people praying gave us loads of strange looks....cried more.....bought our youngest his first bike...cried...every daddy should see that....cried....placed flowers on DH's parents grave...cried....did bank run.....cried....lifted children....cried....came home supervised homeworks....cried....rang for chinese takeaway for now too bloody exhausted to cook. I know...in my logical side of my brain...yes I have one....that cancer being the unknown quanity that it is will do what it wants when it wants, but I wanted to believe...truly wished from the bottom of my tummy that the lump on his face, the thingy in his ear...everything new was something else...NOT PERHAPS CANCER....consultants...hummm...all 4...spoke about...who is looking after you at home...ME....need more input from palliative care team....checked meds...need more input from palliative care team....felt like we shouldn't have been there, that we shouldn't have drove all that way...that we hadn't really a purpose...need more input from palliative care team....with reference to DH....a matter of time. I'm not cross with anyone, not with his team, the trip, the consultation, lack of divine inspiration in the chapel....am just cross that we have a condition that we can't seem to control. DH and me...we're two peas in a pod and actually considering hes a male and me a female get on exceptionally well...I just hate the thought of loosing such a close friend...he was that long before being my husbnd, daddy and bill payer.... I've cried and probably will cry loads more before I sleep...I know he will die from this...it just makes me so unbearably sad..... I know there are so many on this site that are struggling, I know ladies that you all have such substanical issues too but today.....Oh God I can feel my self falling, falling further than I have ever done before....I need to be strong but just want a little while off...maybe till tomorrow morning.... We have a saying that you will only have the troubles your back can carry, but dear God I know I am a large lady but really none of us here can take much more....honest!
