THE ORIGINAL GANG OF MUSHROOM ROPE BUILDERS (i.e Mel & Em's thread cont...)
FormerMember
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This is the start of a new journey for me and my much loved friends from the original Oesophegus thread on general discussions.
We have become a close group and this will be our new home to continue our journey as life has become very hard for many of us and we keep re-living our journeys with lots of newbies which puts us all back a bit.
So my lovely friends Mel, Sam, Helen, Bern, Jac, Nic, Dawn, Sue, Cath, Lesley, Jani and the many other special friends Mel and I have made over the last 16 months this is it we have a new home.
Love to all and extra strength to carry us through our next stage XXX
FormerMember
Hi Michelle,
I am fed up!!! but have a haematology appointment on 16th Sept(15th??) so hopefully they will try and help me.
You are allowed to be angry hunny, I just wrote a message to a lady who's mum has had the op and given all clear and she is depressed and does'nt allow people people to visit her and my first thought was you selfish bitch my Dad would have loved to have the op given the all clear and still be with us. How terrible is that it's not her fault.
Am sure you must be fed up Em, the waiting part is just so horrible.You must feel you are living on a knife edge.
I dont like to think of myself as an angry person (except when got PMT, then I would say stay well well away ha ha) but this grief thing makes us go through so many emotions, some when you dont even realise it. I just felt angry/jealous with the situation that i find myself in, I just wish my Dad had longer than he did... yet I'm sure each and everyone on here would have that as their "one wish"
I forgot to ask you, have you taken yourself off Facebook? or was it just me... paranoid !!!
Signing off for the day now, as going to brave the grey skies of Brighton and take my girls down the seafront and eat cake with a friend!!
Not sure if i'll get chance to pop on much now until early next week as got a few hectic days ahead including my first social gathering at home on Saturday...... a few months ago I couldn't even contemplate a few friends at home let alone ahouse full... so maybe there's a glimmer of the gapping wound starting to heal... for a while anyway! Then the following weekend it would have been mum and dad's 40th wedding anniversary so the healing process will only be short lived.. hey ho
I should have expected this but now i'm worried others might realise!!!!!
My outpatiant appointment with the Haematologist has arrived only it's not in the outpatient department it's on ward 19 Oncology/Haematology ward which just happens to be the ward were we spent a lot of time with sis-in-laws Dad and Tony's uncle!!!
I haven't been around much recently, mainly cos of my gorgeous baby boy but also feeling very down at the moment and can't seem to kick myself into touch. I keep telling myself I need to as I'm so thankful for having my beautiful baby but feel so sad sometimes. I was driving to the dentist this morning (making the most of my free appointments!) and saw an elderly couple with what I presume was their grandchild and the biggest rush of emotion came over me, I was so jealous and I had to pull over and wait for 15 minutes until the tears stopped. I saw an old friend a bit later on and she asked me if I was ok (clearly I looked like a wreck) and told her what had happened and she just said "but it's about 18 months since your died" I felt so foolish, now I actually feel a bit angry, there is no time limit on how long I should grieve for. I really thought I was getting there with my emotions but obviously not, it's also coming up to what would have been my dad's birthday.
Jac, your post about your lovely children was wonderful, they are very, very special and deserve lots and lots of hugs - and extra special baby dribble from Will xx
Hello and lots of love and warm hugs to everyone else.
Be back soon hopefully, once I get myself out of my dark clouds.
super quick message, as freelancin at the moment and not at home for internet access. Things my end bit up in the air and here there and everywhere, just want to say though, that even though I am ot physically here at the moment, I am here very much in spirit.....yes, my spirit can have a potty mouth and I can say things like give all the bad stuff a good kick up the arse and two fingers up to them all!!!!...... cause I won' t have access for about a week or so!!! (incase I get banned!!) Mac don't ban me for two weeks now!!
Keep spreadin the love and keep the circle of hugs going. You are an amazing bunch of people and I am blessed to have met you and see such courage and love. So, in your dark days this here is your beacon of light, cause no matter what life throws, this site and you people are a continual source of inspiration. You are the beauty in what can be a dark and scary world.
Cheers and big hugs. The scrumpy is on Helen as she won the lottery...ooops you did all know about money bag didn't you??? hee hee. She robbed it!!! Ooodles of hugs and lov galore Bern xxx Catch ya all very soon whn have internet access properly. Thank you all fo you wishes about my uncle..he got a great send off and looked very much at peace. xxx
Wendy, Please be careful it could be more than just feeling down I had post-natal depression after my 2nd daughter and it's easy to not realise thats what it is. You have every right to be upset about not having your parents with you and Will not ever being able to meet them it's something we all have to struggle with.
