For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Welcome to Warped.

I wanted to come back in time and explain something as it doesn't make sense otherwise...(though not much of this thread makes sense anyway)  I set up this thread as explained below with a lovely dear lady called Sunny Leith. We had a lot of chat on here and the silliness got me and her and lots of others through some hard times. Sunny left the site when there was some criticism of warped  and she deleted all her posts when she left. That is why it doesn't make sense to start with as all her posts are missing and it is a bit of a one sided conversation.... Enjoy it all the same...  

Hi there,

This is a follow on from the 'dumb things people say' recent thread that is moving here with a health warning!

If you are feeling sensitive please don't read this thread as you may feel offended.... and we need a place to say what we need to say without worrying about offending people so  you have been warned!!!!

This is for those of us who cope by being irreverent and silly and able to laugh at all the bad stuff. If you want to get the idea, read the last few pages of dumb things people say, I might see if I can cut and paste a few over to get us going....

In the meantime,

Sunny, you had me laughing my head off this morning with that image of you sitting there in your underwear, chocolate mouth etc!! I think it would have been hilarious if you had answered the door and invited them in.... they certainly would have needed oxygen by the time they got back down the speed they would have run away....!

Magel, how do they find us?? I live up a very steep hill in a very remote area and they made it up the hill to us too..... mind you, they were so out of breath they couldn't speak... almost felt sorry for them!

Can't remember what else we were on about as I can't see the last post anymore but lets continue here with the laughs and anyone new, feel free to join in.

Looking forward to hearing from you

Little My x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Glad we cheered you up Llinda, Always willing to oblige on that front... though I won't tell the bathroom crowd you were laughing- might get a wet flannel in your face...

    Thinking of collecting the cat's hairs... quite good with a needle and thread...tabby merkin sounds fun...

    Hey! that's another one for GC... (read 'brace again' blog if confused..) Can you imagine that... merkin made from your cat's hairs and a rolo.....  poor man... should have run away like the last one.... I do hope he never reads these! I'm just waiting for the reply from a new member called GC one day, saying love the blog, see you Friday...  and don't any of you sickos even think of doing that for one minute.. not funny even by our standards! Remember I am only just breathing again....

    Let me know your music choices, or any final words you would like saying in her honour...the flowers have arrived....

    Little Myxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    What a struggle to find a song to commemorate the passing of Little Pube, but try this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_m3vU6P68U  There are others, but this seemed the most appropriate, and it's not too sad...

    Hope it gets the memorial service off to a good start.

    Ann x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

     I am crying with laughter!!!!! That is an absolute classic!

    I wish I had more people to share it with, but  it would take some explaining.... well, I was organising a memorial service for my last pube and couldn't find any music... and then asked others to help... and you see, Sunny sent this... and.............. Might say, look what I stumbled on when I was looking for interesting articles on science...

    Speaking of which, I did stumble on an article that said my chemo gives you brain damage!!! esp if in a continuous invusion... Hmm 24/7 for 2 lots of 5 days kind of sounds continuous...... Ha haGet in!!  Not my fault after all!

    Anyway, I was struggling to find music and could only come up with Shiny happy people... so now we have the music, I think everything else is in place, the service can begin...

    I think one of the  Dimbleby Toothbrush brothers has been commandeered to comment on the ceremony....

    ps-  P just came in to see what the snorts and tears were about and said are you on that 'Tumours reunited' site again....

    Little Myxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Well done Ann, seems most appropriate, and very knicker waving beat xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    WARNING ----NOT FOR THE SENSITIVE.----WARNING----

    Ok, don't say you weren't warned.... so  if you are still reading... here is the moving ceremony....

    Dimbleby toothbrush here reporting for the Bathroom news on this solemn occasion....

    In a hushed voice....

    So, as a hushed crowd gather outside the bathroom door.... the service is about to begin....

    Sunny provided the opening music as her parting gift to Little Pube (please go to the link if you haven’t) and as the first touching bars waft their way into the bathroom, the crowds bow their heads in sadness and then stifle their sniggers as they hear the words and slowly enter the bathroom and take their positions....

    Now, a bit of background info for you as they file in...

    Pube was not overly religious so we see that Bleach will be presiding over the ceremony today instead of the resident bathroom priest Toilet.

    The old half used bottles of shower gel are agreeing to put their differences to one side with New shower gel for today and have said they will walk in side by side in honour of Little Pube.

    I can see that Air freshener has subtly and politely taken up position next to the Bags, just in case.

    Spider in the bath and fly have also made a truce for the duration of the service and Spider has promised to not try to eat him.

    We also note that Razor has wisely kept away today after unfounded allegations of murder and a series of hate mail threats.

    And oh dear, there seems to be  a bit of jostling going on with the hair products for the best view and gel nearly fell off the shelf when spray gave him a squirt, but they are all now seated quietly and ready....

    Hushed voice again.

    So, as the music dies down, Bleach opens the ceremony with a few words of comfort that at least she is not alone down there anymore and it was such a lonely struggle to keep on hanging on after all the others had gone and at least now Little My can just be shiny all over and can confidently answer the question bald or not...

    Candles are lit, flowers are brought forward and others step up to say a few words...

    ‘She was a feisty little Pube and my friend and I don’t know how I will ever be able to have a shower again’ sobbed Flannel wringing herself dry for the 4th time this morning.

    Others line up to pay their respects and say a few words.... all very moving...

     and now as we near the end of the ceremony...

    The Aqueous Creams Quartet, led by Gel who had got to know her very well over the past few months step up to sing a rendition of Shiny Happy People in her honour and to mark the future...

    Bum Fluff thanked everyone for coming and invited them to sign the memorial book that deodorant had set up on the shelf and then come into the medicine cabinet for a wake... (no booze but plenty of drugs!)

    Oh dear, what’s this... there seems to be some commotion going on by the sink.... Morphine has staggered out of the cabinet and is causing a stir by asking flannel what all the fuss is about and why doesn’t she just chill out man.... ??

    Paracetamol police are called in and Morphine is quietly ushered back in to the cabinet again and told to sit quietly or it will be down the sink with him.

    And so, the service is over and the party begins... So, I will say a hushed goodbye and  pass you back over to the news room for the latest breaking news of  the spider in the bath incident...

    Actually, I have to say, there really was a momentary glimmer of sadness for me at the passing of Little Pube but, hey lets keep looking on the bright side... people seem to pay good money for this etc and the song is certainly a cure for any of those 'Iv'e got the no-pubes blues..' Take it away boys and thanks, Sunny... ! How do you find them??? (still crying with laughter)

    Little Myxxx

    ps was in 2 minds whether to post this, looking at all the other threads up there, but we did warn them and it cheered me up so.. what the heck!

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    pmsl !! This thread is SO funny. I know how necessary it is to have a sense of humour throughout all this sh**e. I have been racking my brain (whats left of it) since this morning for a suitable song, but none were as funny as that :) Am following this blog all day,only stopping to use the bathroom, which has me cracking up every time I see the flannel, shower gels etc. Sorry I couldnt make it to last pubes final departure ceremony, but have made my few look respectable in its memory!! Keep up the good work and may little lone pube R.I.P x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Little My, well just rushed out for more tenna lady, sure did need them, all I can say is if you have chemo brain you must have been lethal before or even dangerous or both... love Ps comment on tumours reunited, hope all is ok on the house front, and so pleased the last farewells were said in the bathroom pube knew and loved xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    I'm envious of the free Hollywood, and such a well organised bathroom!  Mine is overcrowded and there are always the paparazzi to worry about!  You couldn't let Morphine out of the cabinet, or it would be all over the toilet 'paper'. Never mind the gutter press, that's the sewer press!

    Try to remember Little Pube as she would want you to, surrounded by her friends and family...

    Ann ;-) x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    If it were just me, mine would be in a state too except I have P to keep it organised and you know what they say about disasters pulling everyone together.. so if you want your toiletries to sort themselves out, you know what to do now.... NHS Hollywood's the way..... I can recommed a lovely consultant... ha ha I just wish I could have illustrated it for you... !

    Went for a walk- new idea  for  improving my stamina... didn't last long  so now back here and I suppose I should be glad that nothing is happening except waiting for solicitors to phone with dates again... (hang on....haven't we been here before? ) but I'm bored now. Need to think of a new silly thing to do now have said our sad goodbyes to Little Pube.... or could we do the Little Pube tribute edition of OK bathroom magazine... ? (good job I can't illustrate :-)

    Actually... where's that cat....

    Little Myxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Ann, what a fantastic song choice. Don't know how you found that lol.

    Little My, you really should write a book. Best make it for over 18s mind you lol. So glad you haven't lost your sense of tumour gggrrroooaannn!!!

    Keep up the good work. Keeps you out of mischief!

    Christine xx