For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Phew, Ann, you make my week seem  like a nice lie down with all those goings out!! At least you are popular! I overdid it when away, but apart from the trembling, no breath moments, it was damn well worth it so go for it if you can... you can always sleep all weekend to catch up! It better had be working... or that would be too crap for words wouldn't it?!

I also have an invite for a pint on wednesday, unfortunatley, it says a pint of water or tea or coffee, not alcohol and its from a rather nice ct scan nurse, so no fun there. It did make me laugh that they actually had to put in the letter that alcohol was not suitable as your pint of fluid! ha ha I can just see it... one hour before your appointment drink a pint... off to the pub!

Sorry if my doldrums are infectious. Luckliy for you lot I don't get them tooo often so hoping tomorrow I will start to come out of them and do something silly instead.. you lot commenting are helping too so thanks (and I got a new one- one of the in memory of kiwi clan! I feel honoured- always think of them a bit like the mafia for some reason... wonder if any of them have made it over here too and are lurking out the back!? Come out and say if you are Juls!

Hey, guess what? she said I talked sense- how cool is that? Get in!! Not often I get accused of talking sense.... do you think she got the wrong blog?

Still don't believe you were a good girl (I wasn't, I admit it- making up for now it though, so b**dy saintly its annoying... where's my new vice? boring people to death with moany rambling blogs maybe?)

Though I was very good in the 70's being only a little kid hahahahaha

Love you all

Little My

Hey LM

Your doldrums may be infectious but lorry loads of doldrums are available free of charge to anyone wanting a share ....... !  We get our curtesy of our local establishment that specilaises in a niffty menu of  chemo treatments! 

Husband is currently adrift with the doldrums and that without his trusty paddle, so we may or may not see him for a while unless a favourable wind brings him back.  Now if you were anywhere near this place you would notice the irony within that statement, but it would definately be a case of TMI for sharing !

So, despite my intention of not waffling - I have written two parragraphs and said nothing!  How's that for a display of sanity???

Anyway back to the reason d'etre for my inaugral post on you thread ..............

Hello there Little My   .............   can I come in please  ? ....... it's f ...(flipping)  chiily out here!

And NO I am not related to the Mafiosa in any shape or form ! 

Hi Juls, of course you can come in- I don't know why everyone thinks this is my place.... just cos I started it... and it was Sunny who said do it so she ought to be the door keeper (but she tends to sit around in her pants, maybe best not her but don't leave me in charge of things, god knows what will happen then...actually, have you seen all the loonies I have let in? Don't know what establishment this is, you would think we all had warped senses of humour or something.....

Anyway, the more the merrier, and I was only kidding about the mafia thing (it worked and got you out from the back, though I do still wonder just how many of you there are out there, reading our mad ramblings along with all the blokes sniggering behind their trains weekly).  mwa ha ha  you can't leave now... we've got you ha ha

Hey,  we've got one of the cool gang in here ha ha!

I did notice something sad though, and this is a fact that Sue will like... we had 7 followers and now we only have 6. I wonder who bailed ship?hmmm...  hope we didn't upset someone...ah well, maybe we were clogging  up their emails too much...

Seems like a day for the doldrums... just seem Jinty is down too as well as me and sunny and Juls' husband but I am working on getting out of mine so blowing up a wind (snigger) to get me out of them so....

Chins up eh? If I cheer up, will you all try too?

Lets try some bank holiday fun?

Goodnight

Little My xxx

ps Stinker will appreciate this one.. I told P I was really tired after all the travelling so wanted to go to bed early so I could actually sneak on here and welcome Juls and comment on Steve and see my comments etc (I saw it on my phone while watching tv with him oooh too sneaky I know.

. He's washing up and going out for a fag (lucky b*gger) and I'm in bed with my laptop pretending to be asleep....

Ha ha this is my new vice I think!

Goodnight xxx

Bloody hell, its taken me nearly 3hrs to catch up on whats been happening.!!!!  bit of a slow reader but tea and fags were also in demand.  Not been on much lately as time is spent trying to keep Dave in brighter mood. Depression is so bad at minute, now under hospital. Had to laugh on wednesday on our way to his appointment.....passed a sign that said....Senior Services & Mental Health...."oh look Dave you fit both catagories"..he wasnt amused, but I pmsl. Have those days when I just get the giggles and cant stop.

Hi My Little Girl.......Glad your back safe and on the ball as usual. Absolutely loved the cancer cards.....can i purchase STAYGAS, and please do the LITTLE MY book, you would sell millions x

Annfran.........Medway Maritime is 5mins away from me, next time your there let me know and I will come and meet you x

Ann-Sunny...... Never knew canestan had so many uses, best mate did use it on her sons coldsore many years ago as he wouldnt shut up about putting cream on it, canestan was the only thing in the house......and it did clear up pretty quick. Hope your not feeling too bad with the chemo, specially having to limbo on the stairs or has LM had the sofa removed? x

Stinker.....ref.. tingles with chemo, well I never, like an orgasm......looking back over my life, 2 partners (not at the same time) and on my 3rd husband (Dave was my second too) I realised they had been doing it wrong too x

Annette......Glad to hear your boobs are ok and hope all goes well with your nose job, love homemade pizza so now Ive got to make one too x

John.....love the jokesx

In reply to one of your comment's LM and contrary to popular belief, there is in fact only one singular, solitary version of me..... ! 

 I do often wish otherwises and my line manager is unshakably convinced to the contrary ...........  but just to be sure I checked just recently and I can vouch that there is only one of me.

Phew, the world heaves a huge sigh of relief at that news!

Hi everyone,

Just caught up with everyone's pieces. Welcome on board Juls. The more the merrier. Only qualification needed is a wicked sense of humour and a broad mind.

Hey LM, like your definition for when you're spending time here...I'm going to bed! Haha! Did you see me wave as I travelled to and from the Malverns yesterday? Had a great time celebrating a friend's 50th birthday...21 of us took over a pub for lunch and I had 3 glasses of wine! Ten of us will be passing your way again for our annual girls weekend away on 16th-18th!

Sunny, thought of you as I passed an advert for Fiat saying that you can order one in just your pants....why did you come to mind???

Huh! I was so sensible in the 70s...O and A levels, teacher training, marriage! Think that's why many women in their 50s/60s want to have fun now. Shirley Valentines in us all.

Sunny, go out and do what you want, while you can. You can always blame it on the chemo when you feel tired.

Hubby just commented "Are you writing a book?" Will return soon :-)

Here's something warped for you... (not sure if its just warped warped or funny warped but who cares....)

Took P down to the supermarket this morning and his cehckout lady that he chats to about me etc (and I don't see) did a double take and said, gosh you look well! You must be better now... I guess you are back to work next week eh?

P said as we were leaving that  I need to get a walking stick or something as he says I look in such rude health that no one will believe me if I say I am tired  etc and they won't give me time off work etc...

and then I get home and there is an email from the colleague who does the timetable and is boss's 'ear whisperer' shall I say.. and she says I am trying to get you Fridays off- that should help with your energy levels eh? Like she is doing me a massive favour... and its written with that ooh aren't I doing you a massive favour and being generous etc  and I'm thinking you must be joking if you think I can work full time till Thursday and then collapse... (I finally got the hint from you lot) for a day and then start again.. I know I didn't get it, but they just don't get it. do they.... ? Looks like I've got a fight on my hands but haven't actually got the energy to fight either... ha ha!

So, as all the advice is for how to make yourself look good when you've got cancer, is there any advice from you lot on how to make yourself look crap? I ought to know having spent most of my life looking ill and people saying to me are you ok? you look ill? And I want to punch them and didn't even have a cancer card to play in those days, and now I actually want a bit of TLC and people to offer to carry boxes for me etc (I would have punched them in the past if they had offered) I look so radiantly healthy. that no one will believe me or offer.... how warped is that?

ps I jsut read that, and I have to say I am not actually that violent and have never punched anything in my life- just get the urge sometimes... oh apart from that annoying boyfriend who got a slap, and I did knock my brother out once.... and .... oooops.

So nice to have you back with us, mumsy (and thanks for this kiss on the head- it helped a lot!) still don't believe anyone outside this forum would read a book with this loony stuff in though.... Mind you, a cut out and keep cancer cards could be a good present for some one who has cancer and a sense of humour (Imagine if you got it wrong though.... and gave to someone who hasn't- like the woman I bumped into in the shop remember...? ha ha) Maybe Macmillan could sell them? if it really is going to be 1/3 of the population with cancer, there could be a lot of money to be made and then I could buy Sunny a stair lift and Sue a cleaner and Shaz a lefetime supply of tenas and oh we'll be here all day, but I could buy you all things to make your life easier, so maybe we should do one.... lets see what GC says. If there is more time off, I might think about doing it- but only if you lot join in too... Otherwise i will be too busy back at work fighting to not to (btw, did I tell you I have been given a Shepherd's hut as an office? How cool is that? I have to share it with aforementioned colleague though. She is talking desks etc I am talking comfy armchairs, kettle etc... ha ha I can chat to you lot in my little hut now (assuming GC says all is ok but I doooo look so well, how could I possibly not be?)

I think cancer would be the first to sign up to our thread if he could- he is certainly warped! (or she, no gender intentions meant- might get a golf club up there, and there isn't much room what with all the rolos and that)

Taken the first step out of the doldrums, its a bit slippy so could go either way, but I'm trying.....  (very trying I know and after that long rambling stream of drivel, you might be pushing me back down the slope!)

And for Juls and Stinker and other educated teachers etc out there, I know I am mixing my metaphors and doldrums are water based so no slopes or steps involved, but writing about winds and first sails etc didn't seem to work.... not back at work yet, so don't care if I mix my metaphors or not... actually I like a mixed metaphor any day of the week- and for those of you who don't know what I am on about- just think- same as a mixed drink  G&T, barcardi and cokei... mmmm bank holiday drinkies anyone?

Little My xxx

Hi LM

Well, what can I say ... apart from 'about time too'! 

 But then, all of the mixed up and intermingled metaphors ............... please just make mine a Bailey's and .............. errr ......... ummm  I know .......... Champagne ...!

LM,

This thing about me being educated, I didn't graduate beyond teaching Y6, and mostly nursery-Y2, so can't count beyond 20 and what's a mixed metaphor???? Ha ha!

How good are you at suddenly bursting into tears? I ask because that might be a good strategy for when you back at work. People soon forget that even though you might put a brave face on it and you make an effort with the make-up etc. its hard to keep going at the old speed.

XXXX