For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

WHAT! You letting Wing Commander on ur blog???? Better not let him on this forum as it will give him heart attack!!!

A money raising idea for you LM. Think all these bits should be pulled together and published. Title: Thoughts of Little My..... could have a green cover in reference to Macmillan (teal for ovarian, yellow for breast, purple for lymphoma...is there one for anal?) ......

Hi All

Well ML Thanks for the further promotion ! Do I get shiny things to wear on my dress uniform ? Yes did say uniform and not just dress !!

Well ok think I now see what you mean about my cards having a theme, strange but I never noticed that - honest !! But  then I was racking my brains for ideas and know where you ladies all consider us guys  keep our brains,  so that might be the reason.  Also you are right about no sense of direction, not the first time that has been suggested !

So my Cards - hope I do not get banned !!!

Viagra card ?
Vital internal action gone right arye

Impotent
Impossible, might point or try, entry not tonight

Limp Card
Lost Interest My Pet

Tidy Card
Think its dead Yet

pissed Card
Penis is so sore, erectile disfunction

Big balls card
Body is good but all lust last seconds  !!

Love and Hugs to all

John xx

Shouldn't it be pink for Breast cancer?

Also you could use orange for Anal, rather than the obvious brown?

LM, I'll pack a bag and see how far I get with my cards and no passport. Do you think the cards will work in place of ticket?

I can just see the headlines:

                                               Trouble at airport
Mother of 3 leaves terminally ill husband and trys to board a plane for Sweeden with no ticket or passport. She said simply "But I have my cancer cards, I need pampering, and I have a friend already over there waiting with a large sofa and gin in a teapot for me."

Umm, actually trying sounds appealing, how much fuss could I get from staff at the airport for just trying, not to mention the press. It could be appealing for the kids too, I could get them all to do their doey "I want that please" eyes, and at least they could expel some of their energy running around the airport concoise, and they could see how many people they could knock over.

Watch out here we come.

Sorry Sue, you are right about pink for breast cancer......confused with daffodils for Marie Curie....too much chemo in the past! Perhaps book could be published to look like a rolo?

I was stopped last November at Birmingham airport taking a new tube of Sensodyne with its foil seal still on. They opened it and tested it, so would love you to try the cancer card. Years ago my daughter did the 'hand over the mouth' as we were about to go through customs. They rushed her through, but made the rest of us empty all our hand luggage. My son's had enough pants and socks for 4 of us for a week!!! Well, if you have clean undies and a toothbrush that's all you need to get by!!!

I love these quotes John.  They have made me smile and also to understand a little bit more why my husband does not intimate contact. 

I know what you mean with the colours, it is so confusing. They should publish a rolo shaped book with all the different colours for all the different types.

Where's Little My, we could get her to design it. Everyone will buy them because they are rolo shaped :-)

If I did go to the airport just for a laugh with just my toothbrush in hand and a set of cancer cards to play, the way my luck has been going recently I would properbly end up on a plane to who knows where with gin in a teapot and no way to get back home - LOL.

We would miss the start of school cause we are stuck somewhere without passports, and can you imagine the state hubby will be in when we do make it home.

I just LOVE your shower description - it is SO TRUE!!!  It's the best laugh I've had all day - write more stuff!!!!!

Sue, do you need more than toothbrush and cancer cards? And as for where you could end up it would be a fantastic adventure :-D .. ooh, not forgetting the HUGE teapot with gin! Would you want, or need to come back LOL

Here I am!! what's that you say? a book shaped like a rolo? with colours on? Oooh sounds fun... but don't let Sunny see it cos you know what she makes me do with rolos... ouch!!  Could be funny though...

I never got this colour business - do you get badges or something?? Can you collect them? Is it like a secret code?  Its bad enough having anal cancer without having a crap colour too (and yes, pun was intended) could also say sh*te colour... cos I bet it is.... isn't it? Not fair. Perhaps I could get orange, cos to be honest, there are about 3 of us with it so we could decide amongst ourselves in a couple of mins easily.... though i don't suppose anyone makes anything in our colour as there are so few of us.. hmmmm... have to do something about that perhaps....

Actually, thinking about it, you  have to remember that while we find this thing funny, as we are in the 'warped' area for a reason and I am not actually sure that anyone else in the world would get the ramblings of a Little My and her loony mates... let alone pay good money for them.... and also I think I have put off a lot of people from ever eating another rolo again!! ha ha so perhaps that is not the best shape... then again it would be funny... could do a pop up book just for Colonel John (oooh that was too bad, sorry...)

Sue, I tell you, its just as you say... I need pampering and I have cards... just turn up at the airport. with your toothbrush and a bikini... and then burst into tears.. play your cancer cards and before you know it you will be here hoorah! No tickets needed...  Swede's like kids a lot so could take them to the Ikea playroom and pick them up in a couple of weeks time.. they would have a ball and so would we... Oooh actually little kids get great cancer cards... tragic children need holiday with their dad etc. Get a charity to look after them and their dad at disney or somewhere and you come over here on your own and drink gin... I think you need it and they will have great  fun. And don't worry about luck, Mr S Law will be back with me soon enough so you will be safe. Shame we can't share our bowel habits around and get an average eh? I could do with a bit of  bunging up and he could have a bit of my sh*ts and we could meet in the middle.....

Well done Flight lieutennant  John for finding your way all the way over here from blog land.. I am impressed.. I would promote you but a) i think you have reached top rank already and b) I can't think of other ranks... and not sure what the top one is... I think Brigadeer is my favourite... what's yours commander? and not sure I want to as I notice you are still not willing to adopt me.. hmmm think I am going to give up on that one.. poor orphan Little My... I will stay fatherless.... sigh..... and with shaz mum on holiday too... sigh.... sniff... but not being bitter or anything, you can still have something shiny for your dress.... sniff.. here it is.... 

Just a quick update on today's proceedings...which is the reason I came on here even though I am too tired to keep my eyes open so who knows what I am typing... ha ha

 I had to come on here for some giggles after the family get together BBQ  there was great food, great weather, great dog and gorgeous puppy and it was lovely but..... you know what is coming.....

 head tilit, how are you? Gentle hug, sad expression....

Ok says Little my

As ok can you can be I guess? says relative..

No just ok.... says My

eyes welling up... you are so brave... and you so look well, take care.... head tilt...

2nd relative.. oh  you are here, sitting on the chair.. that's good.

(what did you expect?, me not here swinging from the roof?? )

3rd relative-  too gentle a hug cos I might break... and then look away and ignore me completely for the rest of the time...co don't know what to do or say...

and on it goes..... feel like I am a celebrity in a weird way cos no one looks at you normally anymore and marvels when you get up and help clear the table and wonder if you are drinking or not and wow you eat too... and you can walk (its a miracle!!!!) anyone would think I was a person or something.....

arrgghhh where's my cards....?

Cousin arrives and he is a silly- big hug, great to see you, silly silly silly no mention of anything. hooray for sillies they know best... and hooray for all you sillies cos you are such fun to come and say hi to after a day of pretending to be... oh you know... just pretending cos its only here you can actually be.... (I think you know what I mean without explaining eh?)

Little Myxxx

ps the other problem with doing a book is unless I did a Banksy, I would have to have my identity known publically and then everyone I know would know all that mad stuff about me and GC would know  that I think he is gorgeous and I wouldn't dare go and see him again and the kids at school would know about my pubes so I couldn't go to school again and....oh  you get the idea..... !!

As you may know hubby has constipation at the moment, and not feeling that great. So we were talking and I said he had to wait until after his birthday in February before he could go (depart from us spiritually - hope you know what I mean). He said "I don't know what sate I would be in then" so I said proberbly cathertorised and have a little baggy, like Little My on Mac land.

I'm sure she could give us a few tips to keep you going. Apparently the bags have to have circles cut out and if you get two and put them on each eye and go "ah Grasshooper or something" it's funny. Hubby smiled, he got it, which I didn't - apparently it's another age gap thing.

Anyway, Little My, baltedly I just wanted to say Thank you as it made hubby smile, and perked him up which is just what we needed this evening.

Thank you