For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Ha ha Stinker, you are right there.... better get a bigger sofa before you lot come over...

We'd never get the dishes done would we?

Actually, I'm not looking forward to seeing us lot trying to outdo eachother on the cancer card trump system... that's one game I would happily lose, even if it does mean having to sit on the floor (as long as I get a cushion please? GC and rolos still making things a bit tender there)

I think Sunny probably wins, but she's getting a souvenir sofa from me, so that's ok and it is a big sofa so if we squash up, I reckon we could all fit on and at least we don't have to get up to pass the gin round... so hey, get on a plane and get here... I'm missing you all...

As for the ecstacy, have you thought of entering a trial for preventing it coming back? You could try that one in court... well, you see m'lord, I was on this website for loonies and they suggested that I took drugs and... OH...

 I've got cancer... here's my card.... run away....

Little My xxx

The cancer card competition is one I don't want to win either!  I'll sit on the floor any time.  In fact, I'd lie on a bed of nails as an alternative!  I think Stinker beats us hands down, just on the number of procedures and weird stuff she's had to do.  MInd you, some of it does sound like the medical and nursing staff were just yanking her chain!  I am really jealous of the peeing a rainbow bit though - that sounds like fun!  I think after all the stuff Stinker has gone through, she could justify taking Eccies!  Party on girl...

As for my sofa, pack carefully, and don't spill Gin on it!

Ann x

I was going to do this with illustrations, but no photoshop etc here and too much gin, so sorry- you will just have to imagine them xxxx

Feeling Tired? Fed Up? Listless? Hairless?

Or just can’t be bothered...

You need the Cancer Card!

Little My Cancer Card services for all your cancer card needs....

In our IGC range (I’ve got cancer)

or

ICFSWC range (I’m caring for someone with cancer)

We have a wide range of cards to suit most occasions....

Please note: All Cancer Cards are  prefixed by either of the above IGC or ICFSWC please state clearly which type you require on the order form.

So for example the BMST card would read... I’ve got cancer, buy me shiny things or

I am caring for someone with cancer, buy me shiny things.

Our featured cards this week are the ones for those days when let’s face it, when you just need a bit of a perk from this cancer lark....

The GOODWILL card- Get Out OF Doing What I Loath Lots

The WISH card- What I Say Happens

The BMST- Buy Me Shiny Things

The HNC- Housework? No Chance

The IHTW- I Have To Win

The IGWIW- I Get What I Want

The INC- I’m Not Cooking

And the multi purpose-  DDTM card- don’t do that to me.

This next card comes in handy packs of 3 and is particularly useful if your car breaks down, or you just need something doing for you...

The FISH card- Free Instant Sympathy Here

Or why not try one of our themed ranges?

The Toilet humour range proving popular this month with those that want a bit of understanding for those hiding under the duvet days or pre check up days...

POO- person out of order

PUBES- Person Under Bl**dy Enormous Stress

SH*T- Sympathy Here Instantly Thank you

Our new Medical themed cards are also proving popular with a certain clientele

GP- Gin Please

GMC- Give Me Cake/Chips/cocktails (delete as appropriate)

NHS- No Housework Stupid!

And2 for those exasperating moments...

The STAYGAS card- Say That Again- You’ll Get A Slap

And Little My’s personal favourite...which is on special offer of buy one get one free this week...the ever popular...

The IMLWBPDKTMTWYHTCIDMHI card

 (I Might Look Well, But Please Don’t Keep telling Me That With Your Head Tilted Cos It Does My Head In!)

All available to buy at littlemycancercards.com

Please note: Credit Terms not available

We are always on the look out for new ranges so any suggestions please forward for inclusion in our autumn brochure coming soon.

Little My x

You'eve been busy!  Did make me laugh out loud, so much that I'd buy them if they were available!

I'll be back with suggestions later, brain stopped functioning properly a couple of hours ago!

Ann x

my stopped functioning a couple of years ago... ah well....

glad you liked them

Goodnight xxxx

Oh LM those cards are so funny! I don't think I could think of any to better them :-)

As for going on the ecstacy trial...I was reading up about it and apparently I would have to take so much to get rid of the cancer that it would kill me.....don't think my lovely consultant would thank me for that as he spent so much time on his "Lady of Mysteries"! (his nickname for me as if there was a problem I would find it)

An example......

I have not told you of the occasion when I had a nurse with her hand under a sheet with her fingers in my groin! Not a case of abuse, me causing problems yet again.....

I had gone into hospital for a 4 hour procedure to harvest my stem cells, but ended up there 4 days! They could not find a vein to place a canula, so had to have a line put in my groin. I had to lie still for hours as the slightest movement meant that it stopped working. All went well until the nurse asked if I needed the loo.....well once the idea is there little ol' bladder decides "Oh yeah".

I was carefully manoevred into the loo still linked up to machine, did the necessary, then climbed back on the bed. I spread my legs in what I thought was the same position, but nothing was happening. Nurse tried to manoevre my legs, but the only thing that worked was if she put her fingers in my groin where the canula had been put! Good job that I don't embarrass that easily. Poor woman was stuck there for an hour!

This was not the end of the adventure as it had started to snow, and the traffic was at a standstill. They bagged up my donation and put it in freezer box and a nice man on a motorbike was on standby to take it to the QE in B'ham. Unfortunately the next day and the day after they had to go through the procedure again (but managed without the finger in the groin !) to make certain that they had enough stem cells.

As for bagging the sofa....I think I would have to pass on that as I am in remission :-D, although I am still getting the head on one side "You look really well....no, you really do!" Aaaargh!

Till next time

Keep laughing xxx

Glad you enjoyed the cards.. want to buy some? I'm a bit short of cash now I am orange jacketed! (see blog)

Looks like we will all end up on the floor now as none of us want to claim the sofa ha ha so seems like there is room for you all after all hoorah!!

Hurry up and come over now... or I'll be back before you.... and we are getting through the cocktails....

Little Myxxx

ps also glad to see I am not the only one who has their groin attended to by medical people... GC complimented me on having a nice one haha (I think he was referring to the state of lymph nodes but I'm happy to take the compliment of nice groin!) how about you? Mind you, after an hour, I bet they weren't so fond...

I would love to come and join you in Sweden but my passport has expired :-(     I would happily play a careers cancer card for a spot on the sofa. I have a bad back and the floor would finish me off. Also not sure that hubby would approve of me abandening him and would need to bring the kids as otherwise I think they might burn down the house in my absence.

I need a card for "Please look after the kids and hubby, I'm off out" put not sure who I could play it to.

Love the cards anyway. I need one for "He looks so well though." Well yeah he would he is high on steriods.

Look if the sofa is available i'll sit on it. - sod the "polite" people - I'm bloody exhausted being "nice"...how much are the ICFSWCBMSTcards? I'll take the lot!!

How is Sweden - is it how you remember it? Or should you have saved money and gone to IKEA in Braehead?

sue, you could always use the STAYGAS card.... but I will add it to my brouchure...

Just pin the card to the front door, take the I get my own way card to the airport and sod the passport- you need a holiday. They are not going to refuse you with the cards now are they?

Jinty- about time we stopped being so polite eh? I'll budge up for you.. squash in - actually you don't need to squash- just you and me- the rest of them are on the floor or on a bed or nails or whatever floats their boat....

BMST cards are on special offer so I'll send you a pile!

That was my brother's suggestion to say to people when they do the head tilting "Is there anything I can do?" 

'Buy me shiny things...' try it! I dare you all....

Actually we could all do that... go to Ikea, pile on a big sofa with vodka from the food shop... no difference from here really! Shall we?

Little My xxx

ps Wing Commander John did some great cards, but being a bloke and having so sense of direction ;-) he left them on my blog. If he doesn't paste them over here, go and have a look over there for them....