For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

FormerMember over 13 years ago

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11 subscribers
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Welcome to Warped.

I wanted to come back in time and explain something as it doesn't make sense otherwise...(though not much of this thread makes sense anyway) I set up this thread as explained below with a lovely dear lady called Sunny Leith. We had a lot of chat on here and the silliness got me and her and lots of others through some hard times. Sunny left the site when there was some criticism of warped and she deleted all her posts when she left. That is why it doesn't make sense to start with as all her posts are missing and it is a bit of a one sided conversation.... Enjoy it all the same...

Hi there,

This is a follow on from the 'dumb things people say' recent thread that is moving here with a health warning!

If you are feeling sensitive please don't read this thread as you may feel offended.... and we need a place to say what we need to say without worrying about offending people so you have been warned!!!!

This is for those of us who cope by being irreverent and silly and able to laugh at all the bad stuff. If you want to get the idea, read the last few pages of dumb things people say, I might see if I can cut and paste a few over to get us going....

In the meantime,

Sunny, you had me laughing my head off this morning with that image of you sitting there in your underwear, chocolate mouth etc!! I think it would have been hilarious if you had answered the door and invited them in.... they certainly would have needed oxygen by the time they got back down the speed they would have run away....!

Magel, how do they find us?? I live up a very steep hill in a very remote area and they made it up the hill to us too..... mind you, they were so out of breath they couldn't speak... almost felt sorry for them!

Can't remember what else we were on about as I can't see the last post anymore but lets continue here with the laughs and anyone new, feel free to join in.

Looking forward to hearing from you

Little My x

FormerMember over 13 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Oh nina is gorgeous!!!! Never mind Wolfie I want her! And Hilary I can't believe you managed to get all 3 sat like that. I will try again but there is no thing here for photos or doing anything in my phone hmmmm if it does appear its Wolfie who was called Wilfred that became wilf then Wolfie then Wolfie there is also Chooch . He's scared of girls. Ooh now Tim is getting ready we can shout ' Come on Tim!!' that always made me laugh ... Hopefully you will be a lot more successful than that Tim ! Ooooh a trolley full of drugz hahaaaa ! Wish you could take your pick like at the cinema or airplane trolley:) see you later now photo.... No, the photo thing isn't there harrumph. Have to wait till they let me out. I nearly escaped cos a junior doctor came over and I'm just doing your discharge drugs for you... Great says LM then she asked did you k ow you are going home ? No, but I'm happy to. Nurse says oh consultant says She can't go till she's done a poo. Sorry, she didn't say poo she said passed a motion. That made me snigger cos I thought Of the House of Lords and all these old codgers saying I've passed a motion can I can go home now? Hahaa if they are waiting for me to get some legislation through.... I'm in for the long haul! Hilary, here's a challenge for you. Go on FB find my cat piccies and post them on here. You ate computer savvy sorry ARE savvy not like wot I aren't xxxx oh and maybe the carrots??? She asked innocently? I'll write a eulogy.... XxxxLittle My xxx

FormerMember over 12 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Aw cute pusscats!

I tell you what warped...... this SCT malarky hahahaha!!!

What, no poo?? Then have some of mine Little MY, for I have copious amounts hahaha! I missed when Tim's date is - can someone fill me in, I have been a feverish haze for days and only today have I been able to sit up and focus!

Biggest warpiest cwtchs to you all xxxxxx

FormerMember over 12 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Not particularly warpy but found this today - www.whodunnknit.com.

Take a shuftie at this - they are auctioning off a knitted Little My! It really tickled me! Think I might have to bid on her and then we can send it to you, Little My, as a pressie for doing your first post op poo! (Any news on this BTW?).

Love and knitty things..........

J XXXXXX

FormerMember over 12 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Yay!!!!! Hahaaaaaaa! Oh I love it !!! Thanks for that Julia:) I liked all the bits about jam pancakes etc. you can see why I am called her... I love the bit about looks like she might get up to mischief! As if... Yay for Ems being out of fever fog long enough to say hello and off the commode long enough too!!! Must be a fast typed missy! Or are you typing on the loo? I am trying to think up a code phrase for the ' big event' the eagle has landed is the only one I have come up with so far... So, lovely consultant comes round this morning, looks at my newspaper with a picture of tony Blair on and says can I tattoo ' teflon' on his head? Be my guest says LM can I go home? When you have done a poo says he. It usually happens about... And he looked at his watch, I thought he was going to say a few hours or something so I said ' now??' and he said ' tomorrow' but you should do one today and you can go home then. Hooooorah!!! So I am eating all the grapes and drinking all the water and walking!! Feels like something is moving around... The old lady in the bed next to me has just died. We all had to go out and sit in a room for a while they said she was ok and in a side ward . The nurse just came in and told us. She was 88 and I have to say it does bug me that we can't accept that old people die and we shy away from it and pretend it doesn't happen. Not very warped! Sorry... Back to poos . Poor old Ems can't stop pooing and I can't start! Wish you could swap. Off for a walk to try and shift things along.. Look out for big announcement laterxxxxxx

FormerMember over 12 years ago in reply to FormerMember

There's something a bit scary about that knitted Little My; something about the eyes. She looks as if she got confused what book she was in and cross-pollinated with Coraline.

For some reason, there's been quite a wave of knitting weird things. I see no point in knitting anything that isn't a sweater, a shawl, a scarf or a blanket, but people knit uteruses - uteri, wotever: http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html; and ladybits: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/knitted-vulva ("Any yarn and needle can be used for this and gauge is unimportant"); and Cthulhu: http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?action=tags;sa=showtopics;tag=cthulhu. What they do with them afterwards, I do not know - and, in the case of the knitted ladybits, would prefer not to guess.

Maybe I could get a knitted uterus for when they whip mine out next month.

xxx

FormerMember over 12 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Hi guys & gals,

Guess what, we've been to the big city & got some Cultcha, yay! Her Madge la Reine has lended Brum ten of her Leonardo drawings to look at for free so we don't have to use our OAP passes on buses to London (most of us wouldn't make it anyway judging by the number of wheelchairs & crutches ...). Anyway they were only "fragments", sketches in preparation for his big stuff, but blimey were they good! Just to make sure we knew our place & didn't nick stuff there was a little lozenge in the corner with EIIR on, i.e. hers not ours (plus security beeping away), but anyway we were mightily chuffed at the honour & opportunity, once in a lifetime etc. dontcha know.

Then we went to see what's left here of the Saxon hoard & I had a go at lifting two of the swords & imagined I was an Angle or Saxon & felt quite swashbuckling. Then we went through some more galleries & Anthony swooned at Lizzie Siddall as Persephone in the Pre-Raphaelite gallery while I drooled over a Modigliani and a Lowry and a Bacon ... can you tell I've been eddykated today?

Then to M & S where I bought Easter eggs for the grandkids with my vouchers and still got £4 left! So what with that & my 39p from Sainsbury's and a tenner at Boots, I'm nouveau- riche and worth cultivating, not to mention cultured.

If anyone wants a Little My or a uterus knitted, just google me up the appropriate patterns, easy peasy. I can knit all sorts of things e.g. snowmen like the Briggs one, tortoises, Makka Pakkas, Upsy Daisies, teddies... most of which I donate to grandkids' school fetes or the local day nursery because I'd feel a bit silly taking them all to bed & I think beloved might get a bit arsey about it too.

Lovely to hear from Cariad-Ems, & hope she's enjoying her drug-induced haze. I've got a book of patterns for knitted & crocheted flowers, maybe I'll do some daffodils in her honour. And Little My, I've got some brown wool, how about some knitted poos, Cruton could smuggle them in in her bin?

Bye for now,

Annie xxx

FormerMember over 12 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Do we need a knitters' group on here now? (I'm with you Annie, I have a fascination with Amigurumi and have a craving to yarnbomb). J X

FormerMember over 12 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Yarnbomb - another word for knitting poos??

FormerMember over 12 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Dud: "You know them Raphael cartoons?"

Pete: "Yeah."

Dud: "I don't get it."

- I paraphrase, because I can't find the quote in a five-second Google and anything longer than that I lose interest.

Someone knitted me a flower brooch once. I even wore it a few times, but it didn't really break my heart when I lost it.

FormerMember over 12 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Nice one Julia!!! :)))