For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Its all gone a bit too quite here lately  and not enough WARPIENESS  going on!!!!!!! 

Some of you guys have a exciting few weeks coming up and would you believe it my other half is now joining in the fun and having an op on the 23 of this month on his problem feet, he thinks he is a raptor dinosaur lol, no I'm not joking he has loppy feet so I will be nursing him back to health and he will be off work for about four months so might be killing each other by the end of it. 

A good test he thinks for when he retires which is years away yet.

Well Tim has given me a new name wait for it ........... Rooby Booby and I must say Tim I love it , it did make me laugh.

Jan hope you had a lovely time in Chester and did a bit of shopping.

Joycee I hope the silly people who use that diet all choke and they should be made to spend the day on our warped ward where Odins ravens will peck their eyes out!!!

I seem to have ran out of warpyness as its no fun on my own, WHERE ARE YOU ALL ????????

Booby xxxxxx

Morning, Ruby Booby and Warpoos...

I have just woken up... warped seems to go in waves and you get 100's of posts and then nowt!

So,my warpedness today.

I am enjoying pooing in bed ! Sunday mornings I have brekkie in bed with the Archers (crowded I know) and cos of baggy I can sit here pooing. This time next week, I won't be able to do that again... oh hang on... I may still be pooing in bed next week Hahaaaaaaaaaaa

IDIOT ALERT! As you know my op is on Friday. Max is  going to Glasgow on the Monday night  overnight busfrom Exeter so I had to book him in a hotel for 2 nights in Exeter as he has to be out of his place on Saturday and he cna't get here cos I'm in hospital... . So looking at cheap hotels and then thought I would see how much the bus fares were and they had a special offer on of £10 each way !! so booked them there and then. Transaction failed and I was tired so thought I'd do it in the morning before going off to buy up half of Waitrose. Booked it- still cheap. Emailed Max and my brother and texted Max to watch out for the ticket coming to his mobile so he didn't delete it!

Brother emails back and says I am confused, I thought he was coming on the Tuesday or Monday, not the Saturday....??

You've never seen so many F's and B's in a string in an email! I had booked the coach for the hotel dates!!!! They were cheap on the understanding that they were non refundable, returnable, changeable etc. OH MY CHEMOBRAIN IS THE SIZE OF A PEA!!!!

So, had to buy a new set of tickets and explain to Max to ignore his M ticket and get the new one. Oh mind you, says LM you'll get 2 seats to yourself cos you've got 2 tickets....

errr, different coach? says Max...

I give up. I m meant to have a brain the size of a house... hahahaaaaaa yeah right!

Went and bought up half of Waitrose (P doesn't drive and I won't be allowed to for a while after my op) Don't tell anyone, but I rolled up scarves to protect my belly from the seatbelt last time and managed to drive the mile to the supermarket  pretty quick. Mind you, its next to the doctor's surgery and the nurse might catch me out this time hahaaaa . Maybe i need a disguise?

Going to make the most of the pool while I can so off for a swim and lounge around this afternoon. Got a busy week at school cos everyone wants to meet me next week before I go off so meetings galore and I have a big assessment thingy on Wednesday which is my afternoon off so might not even get that!!! I'll be glad of a rest.

Tim and Odin were sending eachother kisses in the Room last night......... :) Spring is in the air... lala la laaa laaaaa.

Oh and rubybooby, if there are any dieters with tubes on my ward, I'll set the Ravens on them... The check in for my op is the private ward that also does cosmetic surgery. They then divvy us mere mortals off to other wards. I shal make a point of saying cancer very loudly if anyone is sat there for beelips or dieting with tubes or  whatever you call them and they ask what I'm having done.... 

Oh and 4 months??????? wow that is murderous territory! Good luck xxx

Have a fun day

Little My xxx

Good evening,

It is LesleyK's birthday tomorrow... just saying like.

Oh I won't get on till tomorrow evening so better sing it now....

Happy birthday to you

Warpy birthday to you

Warpy birthday dear Lesley

Haaaapy birrrrrrthday toooooooo yooooooooou!

Little My xxx

Oooooooooooh lovely birthday stuff!!

Penblwydd Hapus Lesley!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Happy Birthday Lesley!

Odin xxx

Happy Birthday Lesley

Ruby xxxxx

Happy Birthday Lesley

Best wishes, Jan xxxxxxxxxxx

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr i've spent the last half hour typing a huge post and even sent Bernard St Bernard out, and the whole bloody lot disappeared 'cos our modem keeps crashing ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.  We've had BT monitoring the line but can't convince them that it's the modem.  They have been faffing about for the last two weeks.

I'm back from a lovely gettaway to Chester.  We've only ever shopped for the day there and never stopped over night.  It was fun homeing in on the pubs instead of the shops and there certainly is an abundance of them.  We need another hols there to visit the ones we couldn't make it to.

My favourite was The Watergate, it was an underground crypt dated 1180 which had been used to hold merchandise.  It was full of little tunnels and cubby holes, an amazing place indeed.

Then on Saturday we met up with my grandson and his mum and dad at Walton Gardens.  It has a park, childrens zoo, bouncy castle and ofcourse icecream mmmmmmmmmm.

Sunday went downhill, 'cos mum was naughty again and caused confusion and upset in the family.  A few weeks ago she hinted at wanting to go to my daughters for mums day with me and how nice that would be.  My sister had invited her a few days ago and she accepted, reluctantly 'cos my daughter hadn't extended the invite. 

She rang us 7am Sunday, we were asleep humph.  She'd rand sis to cancel and insisted to me that vicki had invited her and she'd forgot.  I had to play rabbit and ring round putting her naughtiness right.  I gave her a good ticking off 'cos my sis had planned a lovely meal for her with all her favourites.  All's been put right now till next time!!!!!

Right finished my woffle and want to wish all of my warpy friends who are going for appointments and treatments and ops very best wishes and hugs and love you all, you are amazing and I think of you often.  LM go girl and Tim woo hoo, soon be dyson duos, Hils wishing you to be with the dysons and not me x Culotte and Jackie hope the RY's going smoothly, Ruby, good luck with the yearly milestone and keep smiling. Ems for tomorrows start, be brave and hugs to you, soon be done xx  Sorry if i've missed anyones apps or stuff and best wishes to all my warpy friends xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jan x

Happy Birthday Lesley!!!!!

Jan, when you write a message perhaps you should start it with "I've just written a load of words and lost the lot!" every time, hee hee!

Glad you had a nice weekend until mum went on the rampage.

Oh and I know I put on here some of my fishing triumphs, well yesterday....da da da daaaa.... I never had a bite, not one fish. First time I have been water licked for ages! I must choose a better place to go this Sunday as it will be the last maggot drowing for weeks I imagine.

Tight lines

Tim xxx

All the hugs to you, Ems for tomorrow. We are all with you and behind you and on your bed and pulling faces at you from under the bed and saying rude words and singing really loudly and reading books to you and eating your treats and playing on your computer and Cruton has the bin and I have got the Ravens ready so you just shout. Actually you don't need to shout cos we are all in the room with you!

You will be sick of the sight of us by the time you are done. You are an amazing lady and we all love you very much and don't be scared cos we are all with you all the way.

Can't wait till you are out and I can drive and i can give you the biggest cwtch ever.. until then, its virtual hugs.

A special warpy hug to you for tomorrow...

Oh and Mission 1: pissflaps and wankbuckets.

Love you sis

Little My xxx

ps Hope you had a good birthday Lesley and boo to no fish Tim (must be the multicoloured maggots) and did you dream typing that one while drunk, Jan?

 I had a shite day all round and not warped so not going to talk about it. Suffice to say I just watched a programme on phone sex and decided that I am in the wrong job and I hate kids (or a few 16 year old boys who made my day crap today) I did wonder if they were making me look forward to the operation in that I want a bloomin rest !!  and one would have thought that when one only has a brother and an aunt and uncle left as relatives, they could stay healthy for the week you are having your op eh? HA! Dad uncle decided to get a clot on his heart and pneumonia. Anyway, hugs all round to everyone, not just ems cos they are regenerating... Hilary says so, so it must be true! xxx