For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

It's all quiet on the northern front too. Sent hubby out to his kickboxing class - he was wearing his boxers back to front and I was sorely tempted not to tell him. But I wouldn't have heard the end of it if he had come back chafed...

I was hoping that his recent appendicectomy might have sorted out his wind issue but nooooooooo. Every time he goes kickboxing, it seems to loosen the air and I get the pleasure of the overnight quilt lifters. This never happened when we were courting.

Anyway, LM, I wish you all the very best for your de-bagging. We'll all be looking forward to tales of the new movements very soon.

Hugs n stuff.

J XX

Hello gang!

Glad you have cover sorted LM.

There seems to be a theme of flatulence this evening, maybe once I have eaten a big slice of my home made banana cake (with extra bananas) I may be joing in :))

Big cwtchs to you all xxxxx

Evening all, just a quickie,

I'm usually in bed at this time in the week but Dunc is on a weeks hols so it's up late and watching crap on TV. Southpark at the min, though i've seen them over and over so zoned out and poooped here oh I mean popped here tee hee.

What's all this talking about farting. Has my granson popped in 'cos he loves talking about farts and poos but then he is only 4 :). When I plug my stoma up the wind comes through silent and no smells, and sometimes I don't know if that's good or bad!! I kinda miss a good old smelly one under the duvet, boo hoo.

Mandy just read about you sorting out the oldies finances and the worry that mums house may be used to pay for her care. I hope you can sort it so that it's not the case 'cos it's just bloody disgusting. I'm afraid my grandads house had to be sold to cover his nursing care. It was so sad because he used to pipe on to my mum that one day his house would be hers and he was really proud of the inheritance but it wasn't to be. The govmint ad the lot!!! The funny thing was (or not so funny really), mum used to say, "you'll see, when all the moneys gone he'll pop off and the government won't have to give him a penny for care". You guessed it, he lasted a few months on a social service paid bed.

Right Dunc seems to be sorting out for the night so better move.

Night night all

Take care

Jan xx

Firstly, Welcome Julia to warpland. I hope you realise that the exit door has no knob on the inside, so you are now trapped.

Cruton, how lucky your dog has flatulence, we can use this to help power the wheelie bin. Also, if we are chased by the enemy as we escape we can..... er no we can't, gas warfare is banned by the Geneva convention!

LM, I had that problem with my Sunday Best just after finishing RT. After two mishaps I changed to dark coloured pants which didn't show the stains. I'm afraid your bum bum is a bit too near the truth, it is only that warm feeling which alerted me to a problem! I can assure you I did not feel it was the warmth of friendship, quite the opposite! I was lucky in that it doesn't happen now, although Sunday Best can parp with the best of them.

I notice that Julia's other half is into kick boxing, perhaps we can enlist his help on any rescue mission. And yes, we must have FRank the terminator in the team as well. I'm sure he will get on well with the wolves and serpents, although the ravens might object.

24 followers! Do you think they are publishers wanting to publish your blogs LM? I suppose it's more likely to be the CIA or tax inspectors.

Mandy, the stress for you is unceasing! I hope you can do something to prevent the social service vultures stealing you Mum's cottage. Special hugs for you.

Sorry to hear about your mate Tim, but he sounds a level headed sort of guy. I hope his op is a success. Still got everything crossed for you, ems and LM and everyone else. Gosh with you lot preoccupied, it's going to be quiet on Mac!!!

Hi Ems, when we got to the Nantyffin, I tried shouting to you, but of course you were at Mum's and couldn't hear me. It was a lovely meal, but I didn't have room for one of the puddings which was just as well with all that sugar.

Best wesh cwtches to veryone,

Odin xxx

Good morning Warpies...well at least I think it is,just popped in to see what you are all up to.    I am so lucky I got the lung cancer for our group cos I don,t have a problem with farts or poo,but believe me I can belch for England(or Wales if necessary).   I am into my second week of radiotheraphy and its not going too bad,BTW welcome Julia and if you find a way out of warpland keep it to yourself as we don't want people escaping hahaha.     Mandy I so feel for you, things never seem to get better and your mum losing her cottage on top of everything would be the last straw,makes you wonder is it worth anyone working their way through life for the kids just for it all to be taken away.     OOohhhhh don't get me started.    Gotta go laptop needs a clean up apparently,blooming AVG      XXXXXXXXXXX    Culottes

Morning all!

Ruby Frank look so fluffy!! Love the pic :)

Tim - hope your friend gets through the op ok, sounds a lot like what Tom had done, they had to open him up and move things out the way to get the the node near his back. He was in surgery for about 8 hours and now has a massive scar from just under his chest all the way down to there!  Fingers crossed it all goes ok for him. Do you know where he will be having it?

Culottes - hope your RT is going ok

LM - when is your op again? All these dates flying around and I can't remember - is it next week??

Mandy - saw your blog, I think you're doing such a good job looking after your mum and uncle. I think the idea about recording QVC and then playing them to your mum is genius (if it works!!) oh and you def deserve a break :)

Julia - welcome!!

C  xxxxxxxxxx

Hello Windy Warpies!

Hi JuliaF...does the F stand for Fart? Sorry Julia lol, who started all the farty talk anyway? I loved the term quilt lifters, really made me laugh!

I think LM, Jan and myself should take take each other on at kickboxing, and the winner would be the person whose bag wasn't exploded. Though as LM is a bit of shorty I think she would struggle to get her foot up high enough, but then again not much time to play as she has her reversal next week! Jan would do all the cleaning up as she likes doing that stuff!

Cruton, glad to see your still about, thought you'd got stuck in your wheelie bin. Dog farts, just the worst thing!

Sorry to hear about the finances Mandy, hope the government leave you with a bit of a nest egg.

Odin thanks for the words, and sorry you had the warm feelings in the past. I'd better get some dark clothes, thanks for the tip!

Clairelybel, yes sounds very much the same sort of op as your Tom. My mate is having it in a hospital, is that what you meant, snigger!  In Bristol BRI.

Culottes glad to hear that the RT is going well, oh burping is such fun, I have always been a windy person and my W reckons my burps (belches) can be heard by the neighbours. I find two hands cupped either side of my mouth helps increase the solidity of the belch.

Full of good ideas me!

Tight lines

Tim xxx

Evening!

You were nearly right Tim - it is Fartypants... Hubby agrees with you about that solidity issue - in fact, he has just demonstrated and rattled all the neighbourhood windows.

I've been trying to get him to agree to having a dog for a while now but after all the talk of sticking noses down jamma tops, I'm starting to doubt the wisdom of this wish. But at least hubby will be able to blame his really ripe ones on the dog. :-)) The instant lighting of a match seems to deal with the worst of an extra noxious effort if you accept this recommendation, although not too close to the offending backside (which my brother in law did once and suffered 'backdraft').

Anyone would think I had a problem with wind chez Fartypants but I promise you, it is no longer me....

Toodles everyone.

J XX