For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Oh Culottes, what a so and so having to travel so far for your treatment. Our local hospital has put in plans to build a hospital hotel nearby for people like yourself to stay, and also for families of people undergoing chemo. Think its a brilliant idea, as long as its not run for a profit!

RESPECT, you have my greatest respect for doing that journey solo. I still do the minimum driving, and know I should do more, but I can feel the panic when I get in the car.

Ems, I'm so pleased that you have been given your treatment date, and the time will soon go. Your Mum must be a lovely lady, planning for you all to move in for a while. You will also be around when Deri starts her new school, and although you will feel as if your life has been drained from you, you will be able to have loads of cuddles, and be able to listen and talk.

Tim, I wish I could say that demands on your wallet will be less, but this is a drop in the ocean....and as hubby said today, we are now Bank of Mum and Dad/Granny and Grandad. I am sure that you had a tear in your eye when you saw your little girl in her posh frock (and not because of the cost) 'cos I know you are a right softy really. I wonder if ClaimsRUs will compensate you for the loss of shed and maggots. Would love to see the reaction when they received a claim saying Odin's Midguard serpent was looking for food.

Coffee tasting was interesting as one of the questions was regarding colour. I have mine black, so....... Most were ok but one I nearly spat out, but I was brought up with refined manners don't you know.

LM, we did miss you. Not enough talk of poo on here, although we did have a few japes whilst you were away. Think you and Max could start your own colony of yoghurts in Wales, and then you could give up NH and Mrs permanently. Ems could move in with her girls, Hils could be responsible for bookings and have a little cottage on the colony with all mod-cons (flushing loos, bath, and she would need computer etc which you could sneak onto when no-one is looking).

If I've missed anyone out I'm sorry. I had in my mind all the people I had to say hi to, but MIL made one of her anonymous phone calls......except I did 1471 so I know it was her. Been getting lots of nuisance calls from her this week, and we're both ready to strangle her.

Love to everyone, and hugs and spoons to those who need them xxxxxxxx

Hey! we've got 22 followers now :)

I am feeling a bit chirpier as boss told me he has applied for headmaster's job and wants to get rid of NH and mrs Get In !!!!!!!!! NH's arch supporter applied for the head's job but wasn't shortlisted PHEW!

 My cold is still there big time and i spent the afternoon in the steam room at my posh health club in an attempt to clear my lungs for Friday's pre op check up. I guess it will be ok but a little paranoid they won't be happy. Mind you, last op, they just did it and I wasn't in a good state then so maybe being over worried... Surgery seems to have that effect on one I find don't cha know...

Anyway, Ems in on the 13th, me on the 16, Tim on the 22nd? sorry can't remember... and Hils maybe joining us. OH I wish we had a warped ward that would be so much fun. Oh, so many missions to set hahaaaaaa

Culottotes, I had a 90 mile round trip everyday for 6 weeks so you have my sympathy. Actually, my friends got up a rota to take me in everyday and it was lovely. I got to have a good old natter for the hour or so each way and used to look forward to some days where the journey flew by. I was lucky though with having such good mates (and a few people I didn't even know who volunteered) Hope you are getting nice lifts in and not having to wait too long once you get there.

Now, here's a conundrum for you... I have to take a urine sample on Friday.

P suggested putting it in a vodka bottle for hilarity but my problem is how i get it in there... You see RT to the nether regions seems to do something to your ability to aim so my wee sprays anywhere and everywhere and no chance of me aiming in a bottle anymore. I am at home so no fancy cardboard hat things to pee in and decant.... answers on a postcard please.

Thought I would ring the changes and talk about wee instead of poo for a change.

Stinker, my mum had a whistle by the phone she used to blow down it if she got a nuisance call... it hurts (oh hang on how would I know.... errr apparently she told me it hurts haha)

I like the idea of the yoghurt yurt company... though we would never get a shot on the computer cos Hils would be playing farming on it or something... speaking of which, max saw twin lambs being born yesterday - must be spring!

Ok, gotta go, just wanted to say to you all and give you all a big sloppy hug ...

Hilary, poobaggers are the coolest people in town- just think- no more sitting on the loo singing poo songs.... I hope you don't have to have one, but if you do, you get to go to coffee mornings and get freebies galore. My next coffee morning freebie grabbing event is the day after my op so probably not needed (hopefully) Just thought Oh bugger what if GC finds something next week..... oh better get some rolos in.

Hugs galore

Little My xxxx

ps I even bored myself with that post... sorry. xxx

Hi gang

Just a quickie (oh if only haha) - LM... pee into a plastic jug then transfer into a bottle of your choice?? Oh, and HOORAH for work news!! :))

What yoghurt yurt?? Can we do yoghurt weaving courses in them? ;-)

Oh yes, Warped Ward - how fabulous woud THAT be?? hahahaha!

Love and cwtchs to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ems! Read my post previous to LM's and you will find out what I have planned for you.....and if you want to do Yoghurt weaving go ahead. All additional ideas are welcome, as we do not have a hierachy here....Oh forgot about Odin the Godfather of all.

xxxx

LM hope the cold is better this morning, I'm sure they will make allowances for a simple cold. Now if it had been manflu .....

Hope nice boss gets HM Job. All appendages are crossed for everybody's operations etc, but have managed to recross my little fingers for him - hence the saying "you can twist me around my little fingers"

For wee samples LM you need a wee jug as pointed out by Ems. You can then transfer from the wee jug into a wee container obtainable from the chemist's for about 50pee. It may cost 50 pee, but it's only good for one pee.

Of course you could use a vodka bottle in which case you will need a less wee jug, but whatever you do don't use a whisky bottle. If you misplace it the consequences could be disastrous.

Boring posts from LM? - Never! ouch, just a minute .............. sorry about that I'm back now, my pants just went on fire and had to sit in the water butt.

Hilary, the biggest disadvantage poobaggers have is where do you read the newspaper? Good luck and hope you don't need one, but as LM says there are some "advantages"!????

The lengths some people go to to avoid taking a mate to a free coffee morning. LM promised to take me along to the next one, but has engineered an operation to get out of it!

Louise, I don't run the mafia, my true and reverent title is the Allfather, but on State occasions you may add King of the gods.

Must get on with some work, retirement is so tiring.

Love hugs cwtches and warm yoghurts,

Odin xxx

Forgot the PS!

PS Now I've forgotten what I was going to put in it!

Well it was probably more rubbish anyway!

Stor Kram! O xxx

Now lets get this right, its a funnel you need LM, put it in the top of your vodka bottle (like your style, very classy ) and pee away easypessy  get it pessy???? sorry couldn't help it.

Wow can't believe how quickly march has come round and I really hope with all my heart that Ems, LM, Hils and Tims  hospitals stays have the outcome we are all hoping for and there is no need for any rescues but Cruton had better take the bin in for a service just incase.

Having a dilema today as Yeti has had a chest infection and I wanted to get him an appointment with docs but could not get him up there due to still getting that panic when trying to drive on my own and feeling more than frustrated and defeated about the whole thing which is not like me pre cancer and I am wondering whether it is more sensible to move into town then at least I can get to the shops and feel part of the real world or is that just giving in, oh I don't know what to do, we love living where we are but I feel my panic is starting to affect my family now. Will have to think about that one.

Odin what kind of photography does your son do? I do a lot of black & white and have taken photo's of my son in B&W from when he was born up until now (he is now 12) I love it , its so satisfying and exciting to see how the photo's turn out ( I don't use digital).

 On a happy note its my dogs birthday today, she is four and we gave her a fat juicy bone so she is a very happy fat lab right now.

Love to you all cause your all such a lovely lot who keep me smiling xxxxxxx

Hiya Warpies,

Thanks everyone for the good luck wishes 22nd of March is the date of my reversal, though not called in for a pre-op yet. Good luck to everyone else with hospital visits, seems like many of us are in for a busy time.

Odin, I must thank you, due to the garden being ripped up I have been able to plant plenty of summer bulbs today. I have also rebuilt the shed and refilled it mainly with junk. I found enough maggots to go fishing on Sunday and I came 3rd (that's 3rd two weeks on the trot) and had a lovely day in the sun.

I know LM claims she is not well off, and it seems so. Poor thing doesn't have a pot to piss in, actually after all my recent expenditure I'm also looking for a pot! Jan I was very proud to see my daughter in her posh frock, she just came home from school today to tell me I have to pick her up after the prom at midnight from Bristol. Louise I shall have to make some wise investments it seems!

Saw a mate of mine today who is battling testicular cancer, he was riding his bike. We chatted for a while and then he said "You haven't said I look well or isn't it painful to ride a bike?", we laughed a lot and shared more stupid things people say. I told him not to buy a Dyson Ball cleaner, as apparently it doesn't do exactly what it says on the tin!

Ruby, I usually jest when I say "don't panic" like Jonesy, but I feel for you. From all you've said before it sounds like you live in a fabulous place and it would be a shame to give it up. I believe you have what it takes to overcome your panic, just try not fry too many boobs on the way.

Sorry for missing out anyone else, I've been a tad busy again and have a poor short term memory. Sorry for missing out anyone else, Ive been a tad busy again and have a poor short term memory.

Tight lines

Tim xxx

Oh boy.....i just needed that laugh........thank you one and all XXXXXX    Culottes

Hi Ruby,

Gareth does mainly landscape and architectural photographs. You can see his work on his website

garethdancerphotography.com

He prefers black and white, but colour is more commercial. He used to use film which he scanned into his computer for printing, but now uses digital which is more convenient.

I took many pictures of the children as they were growing up. We bought a Polaroid swinger which made many happy memories for us. I used colour slides as well but these are now deteriorating.

You can do this driving lark Ruby, just remember we are all in the back seat - we make good back seat drivers. It would be a shame to leave the home you love.

Just taxed my car on line. It is so easy, no messing about with documents and queing at the Post office.

A dog's birthday on St David's Day, it doesn't get better than that!

A worrying but exciting time for many on here - we'll be thinking of you,

Odin xxx