For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Cheers Culottes for the jumper info!

Odin, I don't care how big that serpent is, it will never be able to eat all the mice in my shed, they breed like, well mice! You should have taken the Serpent with you to Chester, then the guy that nicked your stuff would have had his arse bitten.

Here we go again, Louise rolls out the red carpet, then trys to tell us she's not posh! One thing I do know Louise, I will be asking you for info on where to stay on any nights away I have planned, errrm other than the hospital of course!

Chester indeed Jan, well I was very nearly going to unfriend you for not coming to Bristol, but then I saw you were going to make a big trip to the glorious South West. Enjoy your time in Chester, I have only been there once on business and never got to see it, so look forward to your report, well of the bits you remember!

I didn't hoover today, but I went to the Docs and got my hair cut ( I mean got my hair cut later, not at the Docs!). The GP told me to pack in football as my achilles are shot to pieces, "sob". Then he got into my hospital records somehow and looked up my scan results from Nov 2011 (since the hospital have never told me feck all) and he said......You have 2 enlarged nodes, but they are the same size as 1 year ago so nothing to worry about at the moment. Also I have a cyst on my liver but that is normal and nothing to do with cancer apparently. Seems good to me! He also said that I need to keep hassling the hospital directly for results and stuff. Yes it's wrong he said, but if you had problems they would be all over you like a rash. So yay for no rashes!

Frank Carson died at 85 this week of cancer (I'd take 85 right now) and I had the luck to see him at annual dinner about 10 years ago. His act was brilliant, after the act he then went to the bar and chatted to people all night long and was a real people person.

I'd also like to wish all the best to Jules on here. Jules set up the colostomy and ileostomy groups, and has been told she will not win her battle. Jules you are as Frank would have said "A cracker", and I wish you much strength and love.

Tight lines

Tim xxx

Good Friday evening to you all and cheers,

Panick panick Tim nearly unfriended me :( !! Don't panick don't panick he changed his mind phew.

So glad you got results finally, though it took a gp to look it up, mind you it seems that is a good thing and yayyyyyyyy for no rashes indeed. These scans pick up all kinds of stuff in our bodies that would have been there doing no harm for many years, like your cyst and nodes. I have a cyst on my cervix and it's been there forever, so no worries all round, hurrayyyyyyyy and cheers Tim.

May I also take this moment to join you Tim, in wishing Jules love and strength and lots of happy times with her family and long, long may it last. Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Take care

Jan x

ps Tim, did you get your hair done in weatherspoons?

Oh boy, combo of vino, (lovely) exhausting day with my little man and chemo brain and I am not going to make sense.....and its past my bedtime!

Reason why we stayed at Crowne Plaza in Chester was 'cos I couldn't walk far, it was central, and an aunt had given me some money to spoil myself...and as my chances of walking out of hospital were poor I thought I'd blow the lot (I did have a wheelchair to the car!). My Irish ancestors lived in Chester before moving to Yorkshire, so feel very drawn to the place.

I must admit a Yogurt would not be for me as I like my home comforts, and when you've looked death in the face a couple of times you think what the hell! I'm not a lady, though I did have elocution lessons when I was being educated at a convent, and we were taught to sit like ladies! Haha!

Well done Tim on eventually getting test results. What a b***** that you had to sneak in through the back door to get that information. I've been fortunate in that my consultant and I have a fantastic relationship and we can read each other like a book. I know how things are with me, and he knows how well I'm coping, even though its nearly 3 years remission.

Jan, you commented on how you felt cheered when visiting here, as we all do, and we have had much good news, but hearing about Jules reminds us that sometimes people still get bad news, and there is still much work to be done. Best wishes to Jules and her family and friends.

My little man did not wee on me, but was sick (again) down my back! He is giving his mummy lots of smiles, and she kept looking at him and saying " I love you". He is also trying to communicate and making all sorts of noises and faces. Think he is made of lots of lovely things so safe from Odin's serpent!

I've gone all soppy....oh, and youngest son is visiting in four weeks. Told his sister that mother hen (me) wanted to see all her kids together with latest edition :-)

Mud, squelch, squelchy, squelch, squelch.......bet LM is suffering computer withdrawal symptoms.

Night, night everyone. Don't let the bed bugs bite

((((((((((((XXXXXXXXXXX))))))))))))))))

Morning all my warpies and who wants a honey pancake?

Louise, Surprisingly your post made perfect sense with no indication of alcohol inibriation (can't spell that one), well done girl!

I too, was treated to a lovely break by my mum and dad when I had finished chemo and radio and was waiting for my op. Dunc and me felt like running away from it all so we did just that. It's the poshest place i've ever stayed in. Dumbleton Hall, Cotswolds, very posh indeed but just what was needed. Yep we all can empathise with the 'what the hell, sod it' feeling.

It's quite an exciting morning at our house! My daughter and partner have been saving hard for the last few years for a deposit on a house, with the help of both sides of parents too and it's now time to look for houses. They have been renting since finishing Uni. It's sooooooooo hard for young couples to get on that property ladder these days, it's just not fair. They need 10% deposit to get a mortgage, that's a lot of cash eh. So even though they both have good careers, without the cash a mortgage is out of the question and they are left paying rent to a landlord for years grrrrrrrrrrrr.

They are second viewing a house they saw last week and said we can go along for a nosey. It's a reposession and needs lots of work. The wow factor is that it's literally at the edge of a village and the back garden looks out onto farmland and greenbelt, it's lovely. Also they like the idea of renovating the house to their tastes. We're meeting a builder there to get an estimate on the work that needs doing, so here's hoping they can afford it.

Catch you all later, bye for now

Take care

Jan xxxxxxxxxxxx

Tim, the midgard serpent took your statement about the mice in your shed as a challenge and offered to come round  and clear them for you. The last time he tried this the shed ended up as a pile of splinters, and I thought that would negate any advantage in having a mouse free shed.

Great, Yay and whoopee! for your results Tim. At least your doc is on the ball. He gives haircuts as well? What have NHS cuts come to that doctors have to supplement their salaries with jobs on the side. Doctors can be miseriguts sometimes, obviously yours doesn't like football and is trying to dissuade people from playing. That's a bummer! You should try bowls!

Jan I'm sure you will enjoy Chester, it's not only great for shopping. Yes, the police caught the b*****d within the hour. Never recovered my property though since he had thrown it away, but in coming to the hotel he had brushed against a bush and picked up small burs on his clothes and these had come of on the lace curtain. The worst outcome was that he taught me how vulnerable I was, and that is a lesson I carry with me today.

You have been warned before about hoovering and showering; just use soap and a flannel like the rest of us.

Getting on the housing ladder has always been difficult, we had to put down a 20% deposit, and they would only take my salary into account in calculating the mortgage. A loan from MIL which had to be paid back in a year helped out, but we lived with orange boxes for that year. For the benefit of the youngsters, orange boxes were wooden in those days, covered with a drape it served as a dressing table. When our portable radio broke down I quickly improvised a crystal set which we fed into the record player and got excellent reception using a frame aerial wrapped around a cardboard box.

Good luck with the house hunting. It sounds as if they have found a great place, I hope they are successful.

I think we are all suffering from LM withdrawal symptoms, but we mustn't let her know.

Hugs to everyone, good luck for test and hospital visits,

Odin xxx

Forgot the PS!

Off to visit son and DIL tomorrow. He has an exhibition in Bookham opening on Monday evening. Wish him luck!

C.

Hope the house hunting is a success, Jan. We helped our 2 older children with loans from Bank of Mum and Dad so that they could buy their first homes...and both moved within 3 months of each other. Our son has pretty well cleared his loan, but daughter and SIL seem to think we are loaded, and have a completely different attitude to debt. Our daughter's attitude changed once she went to Uni and had a student loan. We'd always brought them up that you only bought things when you could afford them, and it does make me sad that debt is now considered normal.

Have been doing some market research on coffee this afternoon. It was to do with a new coffee in a silver tin. As both hubby and I did it, and we did another one when they asked us to make a cup of coffee, we got £25 each for 90 mins work! Well, someone has to do it!!!

Hope the exhibition is a success Colin. Is the serpent well-fed after his visit to Tim's?

Off to prepare some food.....

Wonder how LM is doing in her Yogurt......

A bit like the Terminator, I'm back!

Hey Jan, I'm a Virgo you know, when we make friends it is for life, so you'll have to put up with me forever now! Don't forget, if you do ever do your trip to Bristol let me know and I'll buy thee and Dunc a beer. Though we may have to get a translator for our accents, ooharr!

ODIN!!!! Get that bloody Serpent back in its cage! I've just been out back to check on my maggots and my back garden is a moonscape, where's my shed gone? My cat is hiding under the bed and I've got no maggots for fishing tomorrow!

Do we think LM has been kidnapped by a bunch of yurt dwelling hippies?

As for mortgages, I had to get a "loan" from the Grandmother to help get the deposit 10 years ago. Now with prices nearly double it's a joke. I feel for youngsters I really do. Louise I know what you mean, I am trying as hard as I can to teach my girls about money, but when I tell them my parents got my first pair of school shoes by selling cooking apples that I picked they simply can't comprehend it.

Now I like the idea of drinking coffee and getting paid for it, but that is a lot of coffee to try to get a deposit!

As we are on the subject of money I think am now skint! Went out and bought my eldest her prom dress today (friggin hell HOW MUCH!). Then two tickets for the girls to see some group called One Direction. What did I say about teaching kids about money? They've got me round their little finger!

I better keep winning at fishing!

Tight Lines Warpies!

Tim xxx

Hello gang!

Excuse absence, been bit grumpy last few days!

Glad to report am feeling more on track again :)

Had a Communication from LM ... she was happy, had skinned a rabbit, and had a cold... if she is back, I would think she's completely exhausted bless her nuty lovely self haha! But I think it's tomorrow?? Oh I dunno, I am a bear of very little brain at the moment!

Off to put smallest human bean to bed, catch up later my lovelies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You help a friend out and are they grateful? NO! All they do is complain!

My friend had a problem with his garden shed being overrun with mice, so I sent my favourite pet midgard serpent to help him out.

When we got there we also found a load of maggots, and since he normally takes these to the local river to drown them, we thought we would help him out and dispose of them.

We also took the trouble to dig his garden over, since he will be going into hospital soon and we knew he wouldn't be able to do it himself.

We didn't expect thanks. Well you don't with friends do you?

But we didn't expect all this help to turn him into a grumpy old man!

Hello Ems. It's good to see you if only briefly. Look after yourself and remember we are with you when you go to kick cancer's arse.

Hi Tim, It's dreadful what's happened to your shed, garden and maggots. I wonder who could have done it. We men must stick together.

Welcome back LM.

I'm away for a few days helping my son with his exhibition so I'll catch you all when I return.

Logs and grasses with mud thrown in,

Odin xxx