For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Phew you lot, you've all been busy with escape plans, though I think you needed a rabbit to organise the list.  It's no use planning an underground escape from the second floor!!! He he and you had all those little kids with trowels at the ready LM.  Are we on plan B now, dropping in from above.  Right, Bags at the ready and my two hoovers, they might come in handy somehow!

Has your bin been emptied with the dodgy alarm Cruton, 'cos that could be used as a decoy device in the rescue. Hello, i say hellooooo Cruton are you out there or are you tramping up some motorway with a wheelie bin, or did i get that one wrong:)

Hiya to Frannie and i'm afraid you're not on your own with the lovely nhs dilators.  I too like LM had heaps of laughing with the nurse who gave them to me.  I found it very funny and gave her laughs with the thought of me trying them out and forgetting to close the curtains and the window cleaner calling.  Me shouting oh it's not what you think!!

Anyway all, i'm just breaking open my first can of the night, cheers.  Oh i did say i wasn't drinking anymore after newyear sparklers and fall over didn't i?  Cheers anyway, Duncs on hols this week so it's his last few nights off before work and back to the grindstone.

Take care all

Jan xxx

I love it, maybe it should still be Nitwit.,,,,,I so laughed Odin thank you.....as sometimes that;s how I feel....It has taken me 13 months to break in here......I kept turning up at the gates and they wouldn't let me in.....NO NO they said not until we have passed sentance!!!!! So the sad thing Odin is that despite me saying ....This is where I need to be, the judge wasn't listening....however now they are....

Myself I am a good forger, if the person making the trouser...I think, could make warders uniforms instead...I can create the passes we need to brake out of this joint..... so maybe I could be "The Cat" as in copycat...?

The Cat,,,,,,meow

Ps as you can see I also do my hunting early in the morning......so I could often feel that I am a little behind on the plans.....

If we are digging from the second floor maybe my second skill could also come in useful.......(clue what cat's do in other people's gardens.........naughty!)

Hi All

well I have had to give up my part of rescue mission for the moment but do have a plan B

The wheels fell off the bin when I reached the Trafford centre at the same time as the whiny noise stopped I was bloody exhausted so went for a bite of lunch and a bit of shopping.I also got a lift home with bin containing all my bargins.

So I am sorry I have let you down for the moment Colette but will put on a pair of womble knickers  borrow LMs xxxxxxxlll invincibles and parachute in.Hope what little sanity you had left Colette has not departed under the pressure of the joys of the 6 beded ward and that you are feeling a bit better.

I know I hear you say better how the F*** can I feel better in this ******************

Tim what do you mean about things with batteries as I said the garage was nobheads domain so anything strange containing batteries would belong to him oh that conjures up some images.

Inuit/Nitwit/The Cat forging mmmmm could have done with you over divorce thing could have well better not say. Glad you are here amongst friends

Hugs to all a bloody shattered no longer Bin Laden

Cruton xxxx

Going off-topic for a moment - it's okay, Colette, I'm sure we can get you out somehow: how about setting a hunny trap for one of the doctors and then blackmailing him? I have a jar of hunny in the kitchen, though it's a bit toast-crumby - here's something for LM, posted by one of my LiveJournal friends: Spend five days with a group of my professional peers, in silence and speech and movement and meditation and study. Cue the awesome. I will have no internet and minimal access to my phone. Cue the panic.

Silence and speech? Nifty trick. Anyway, is this what all professional people do? I was vaguely long-term planning to find another job when I get better, something a bit more worthwhile, but I may change my mind.

If the doctor doesn't like hunny, there is also a jar of marmalade. And some Marmite, if that's more up his alley. Not that you would want Marmite up your alley. Sticky.

xx

There  are no doctors about as it is a weekend....but marmite sounds good anyway yum yum,I am waiting for roast beef dinner and then might settle down to watch a film......have to be careful tho cos my brain might atrophy....might do a crossword instead.  Decisions  decisions , roll on tomorrow then I can have a trip out for a scan .....dont know if I can stand the excitment.   xxx  Colette

Cruton, glad you are home safe and did a shop of retail therapy. You are holding up the warped values very well! I am so proud of you. We may have to start awarded medals and badges etc for services to warped. Aborting a mission for shopping shirley desherves a medal.

dunno why I started slurring y s's there, I think it was the thought of some silly joke about surely and shirley... anyway,

Colete, at you aren't doing any hoovering! One of the missions I gave ems to do when she was incarcerated was to sing 'Take me home country road' at the top of her voice. Country can be mispronounced to something the moderators may faint over, as can Virginia... When warbling at top volume you can get away with it. I don't know if your lungs and clots allow such loudness but if they do... I dare you! As I said to ems.... SING....  SING LIKE A FUCKING LARK!

Cancer tourettes is also fun to play if you get bored, but if you are with the demented it loses its fun as they don't care or do worse anyway...

Hilary, Thank you. It made me laugh. Was it my thing they were going to???? sounded strangely familiar.... and it also cued rising panic in me at the thought of what had been.... Don't do it!! One of my group said to me on Friday how much they had enjoyed it. I couldn't reply....

as to marmite up your alley, I'll stick to Rolos thanks. but as I am an expert at offering things to consultants, I am happy to add to the Rolos up my bum with a honey/marmite merkin??? whichever they prefer... I have a jar of mango chutney with chili if they like it hot...

see? I will do anything for my friends.... well, almost anything.

Cruton, if I get in the bin, will you push me there? Oh I could do like that surprise cake thing and jump out! Ta daaaaa. Me with my chutney merkin and Roloed up arse popping out of a bin, could actually cause mass hysteria and then we could slip Colete out in the ensuing panic....

Colete, you just popped in while i was typing. Hope the scan is ok tomorrow and they let you out soon.

Good luck to ems who is going in for a week tomorrow and to Hils who has her chemo tomorrow.

3 of us in hospital at once is not good. :(  If we keep this up, I am going to resign from my job and train as a doctor as I should have done in the first place and then open up a warped hospital....  I think there may a flaw or two in that plan somewhere.... can't think where though!

All the love and hugs and spoons to you all

Little My xxx

ps. well, there has to be eh? we have scared another one off... we were 20, then 19 faves, now 18! Can't imagine why....

Good Sunday to all,

Just popped in for a quickie!  Hope you're bearing up OK Colette and the mithery old dears haven't sent you bonkers yet (oh silly me you are already bonkers, like the rest of us hehe).

Wishes of smooth chemo with no hiccups as it were to Hils and Ems for tomorrow, onwards and upwards to you both xx

Glad to see you left that bin alone and had a good shop instead, my kinda girl Cruton xx  We went to Chester yesterday and I spent my Christmas pennies on two Dragons, one for the wall and one is a lamp.  I love my dragons and fairies.  Myth, magic and swords are all stuff that appeal to me and I have quite a collection.

Hope Tims having fun on the water edge and has very tight lines, enjoy Tim, enjoy xx

Hi to all you loonies out there and hope you have had as nice a relaxing day as i have xxx.

Don't know if any of you are a saddy like me, but i love dancing on ice and am very excited, with wine chilling at the redy for tonights opening show yayyyyyyy.

Take care all

Love and hugs and you are all just brill

Jan xxxx 

Lm, You've managed to bring it back to 20 now!

I have had to change my plan to rescue Colette, since we are getting a different type of diversion to that planned. I think Cruton parachuting in using LMs invincibles should cause enough distraction for a surprise assault.

We don't use Sleipnir's ability to fly too often these days because of complaints from the Breweries. So many people seeing a flying horse swore to give up drink for ever, and their profits fell. But desperate emergencies call for desperate action. We were planning to get you out tomorrow Culotte, but since you are having the scan, it would be a pity to come crashing through the window on Sleipnir only to find you weren't there and having to settle for one of the grannies instead.

Good luck with the scan, and if they don't let you out soon, watch this space.

in2it or whatever, welcome aboard; to have a forger on the team will certainly be useful.

Scratchem, these wheelie bins aren't too robust are they, we must arrange for you to carry a spare wheel next time. And perhaps a little mechanical help; I used to make models with a rubber band drive. Perhaps that idea could be adapted to powering up your wheelie bin. Well done for managing to revive your flagging spirits with a little retail therapy. (Was it shiny?)

LM Have you done that marking yet? The naughty step is waiting and there's plenty of room now I've cleared out all those cushions and minifridge.

Hugs for our three hospital appointees, and cwtches for the welsh one.

Hoive and logs to all,

Odin xxxxx

Would it not be better if Hils and Ems came to Blackburn for their treatment at least then I would have "sane" company, we could also be a trial run for the new warpy hospital.founded by the generosity of Lady My of Macland.  Cruton I was a bit disappointed you got distracted at the Trafford centre ....you didn;t have much further to go,but I supose if you are a shopper then you just gotta do it and I really needed to watch the film today(shutter island), all about mental patients,but might find it difficult to sleep tonight.    Anyway Jan I am with you...I will watch the dancing but got no wine just some amber liquid that got left accidently err humm..     Catchyou all later xxxxColette

Seems you lot have been causing chaos with attempted escape plans to get Colette out of the oldies ward before she becomes a fossil.

I have been suffering with THE MOTHER OF ALL PERIODS and after not having one for 4 months, let me tell you it was bad !!!!!!!

LM hhhhem, I mean your Grace, the lost castle sounds fab, perfect for a warped hospital (asylum) very shutter island. Cruton maybe wheelie bins are not the way forward as their wheels keep coming off, glad you had a good old shop, it always makes you feel better,but knackering.

Tim I know what the third F is  FART!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those invincibles could cause a huge eclipse of the sun, then we could break you out Colette and what is it with Doctors never being around at weekends in hospitals.

Inuit I think there may be many a late night escape to warpland maybe you should be called night owl???

Good luck to all who are in hospital or have chemo and scans this week, RUN IF YOU SEE THE MARMITE BEING BROUGHT OUT !!!!!!!!!!

Ruby XXXXXX