For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

The Bristol poo scale was in my hospital folder. Judy found it one day and insisted on showing it to me. So then I felt less guilty about demonstrating my bowel movements through the medium of sock puppetry.

xx

Oh Hilary, PLEASE PLEASE let me see your sock puppetry bowel movements... and I dont care how weird that looks on the first line!!!

That phrase

 ' demonstrating my bowel movements through the medium of sock puppetry'

has to go down in my top 10 fave phrases of all times...

  :D

xxx

That is something truly warped love to see it.

LM you could send the pictures to work colleagues as xmas cards or save till valentines day and send them anonymously.

Thanks to everyone for support over the Decree thing 

 Clair  dog is better today he is 3 years old I have never nebulised a cat but have one or two humans when I was a general nurse many years ago and they where difficult enough 

Bigfub said he will buy us all shiny things? Can't remember all that was said Oh sausages LM rest more in your shed oh and solos wow I am impressed lets hope the audience is too.

Hils has finally cracked open the Morphine hope back improves 

will you be singing one of your own compositions While Shepherds warped their you know the rest or something more traditional  

Hugs and socks to all

Cruton

xxx

Oh AHHHHHH Kittens I love Kittens and Cats 

Cruton, lets clear one thing up right now... I can't sing. Really  I can't! I need to sit next to a piano and have the notes thumped out next to me if I am to resemble anything other than a cat that someone trod on... why he asks me to do these things I don't know... idiot fool too nice to say no and the only person who can sing alto at all... I dunno but it scares the shit out of me... and I have to sing constantly from now to Thursday if I stand any hope at all  of getting in tune... actually bad metaphor as the shit just pops out of me any old how scared or not.

There are 4 of us singing Silent Night in parts. I have one of the parts.And all I have in my head is shitey night warpy night now... Oh bugger.

 The whole school and all the parents/grannies etc will be watching. EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!! Do not be impressed. It isn't and I am thinking why the hell did he ask me and why the hell did I say yes and how the hell and... and...

Anyway, I have done these sorts of  things in the past cos I think it is good to do something out of your comfort zone every so often. I forgot that this year, I probably did more of my fair share of 'out of comfort zone' things and should had laughed at him and said not bloody likely... idiot me goes Ok (mind you, in my defence I thought he meant sing alto along with the whole audience) Oh bgger.

Hope you aren't sad about the decree thingy. I know he sounded like a right nobhead, but I guess it is a bit sad somewhere along the line... Just think of good riddance to nobheads and I have pictures of poo if you want them...!

oooh siny things from big fub ha haaaa :)

 Love to dogs and cats and hugs and spoons and socks! to all

xxx

better go and practice... Shitey night... la la la laaaaah. I may have lost my job next week if I forget and sing the warped version...

Oh heck could ask the audience to join in you know "all together now" Silent Night Warpy night all else fails terrible sore throat sorry I can't sing remember to whisper this and croak and cough too for sympathy vote.

Do you do sign language you could suggest that you will "sign" at the side of the stage for those who are hard of hearing or you could sign through the medium of the sock now there's a challenge

I do sympathise with your plight as I think I said before my friend banned me from singing I was instructed to mime if I didn't she made a point of shoving her finger in her ear 

Nobhead indeed my friend said that the surgeon cut out one big ugly mass that was draining your life and you have cut out another meaning the ex pictures of poo and why not he deserves them it's my girls I feel sorry for the bastard

you have missed the H out of shiny things so Bigfub is buying us all some siny things cant wait sinning is so much fun

Hugs to all

Cruton xxx

ps you have to sound better than Vashti Bunyan

LM. I don't know what the problem is, having won X Factor. no wonder you were asked to sing.

Today the school, tomorrow Cardiff Singer of the World!

Remember, we are all supporting you on warped, so just feel all those good wishes wrapped around you and sing your heart out. Be careful of sausages though, you wouldn't want them popping out so that they can hear better during the carol.

Oh cruton, what sort of sinning have you in mind?

Hugs, cwtches and spoons as well as stor kram to anyone needing them,

Odin xxxxxxx

Sorry to disappoint folks but I doubt I'll be buying shiny (or indeed siny) things for quite some time.

Still haven't gotten around to making the fudge but I could send that instead, much nicer ;)

LM, you could follow the example of Karaoke for the Deaf: http://youtu.be/F0hAUN4bYVk

Hi,

Just lost the lot, what I wrote that is...PsssFs!

Sorry not been about for a while, was hit by a virus (Doc speak for not a clue I always feel) which smashed me in. I had to host a coporate do Saturday at football and I felt like shitey when I woke up, but had to go otherwise everyone would be miffed big time (I had tickets etc). When I got there I was deciding what soft drink to have and thought....Guiness! Seven hours later and after, well, let's say a few pints of the black stuff I returned home. The next day I felt so much better, so next time I'm ill Guiness is the medicine for me!

Sorry I can't recall a weeks worth of stuff, so sorry for missing you out. I am also trying to catch up with work!

What did I write before..... Oh yes! I once bought my wife a bright red dust buster for Xmas, she nearly cried and I think considered our future together. Suffice to say she never ever lets me forget, and I don't!

Tight Lines

Tim xxx

Just catching up after a week or so off!

Tim, just read your comments - hope you are better now??

LM...... singing?? Oh I hope it all goes marvellously!!

As for the rest - poo, socks, shiny things??

Divorce - a good thing and I know from experience, kids are better off without nobheads around in the long run!

Hope to catch up more over next few days!!

Xxxxxxxxxxx