For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Oh Odin have you not finished it YET ?

Come and join us on the naughty step wear a tin hat as LM is after you.

Cruton x

Blimey, thats some talk your writing........

Dave starts his Mac counselling tomorrow....woop woop....and he asked if I could sit in too, so pleased he feels able to share that with me, going in the right direction again.

Hope my f.a.c of a dog cheers you all up :)

Shaz, for a moment there I thought it was the dog who was going to sit in on the counselling. And why not? A dog in a Santa costume, what's not to like?

*Sassafrassarassum Rick Rastardly!* says the dog.

xxx

Hi all

Little My - a bed in your office is such a good idea! 

Nanny B - I like your pic!!

We put our Xmas tree up this weekend - it looks very nice if I do say so myself. And I actually wrote some Xmas cards too

Check up with oncologist a week on Friday - I really hope they arrange some scans, we want to know if the blood clot in Tom's brain has finally gone!

Hugs to everyone

Clair xxx

Oh I love fac dog!!!! That did make me smile. She can't be that awkward if she lets you do that to her...

I just had to pop in to tell you about the 'chat' about 'issues' cos you were wishing me good luck.

Taught all morning, went and laid down for half an hour and read all your stuff on my phone emails and then arsehole meeting...  I am an evil witch and said how saintly i am to him when I am not ha ha ...

Basically he started by saying he didn't want to talk to me, but my boss suggested he should. He then listed a few things that hinted that he didn't trust me.. you said blah blah, but she said bleh bleh which wasn't what you said etc and then he said that actually he didn't have a problem with me at all cos he is a bloke (eh?) but there are some women who don't trust me at the school(no names)  and he thinks we should have a whole staff meeting where we all sit down and say what we dont trust about eachother... (eh?) Hee then slagged off the 2 bosses and told me they thought... they think etc...  ha ha.

I basically told him he had to stop saying that his perceptions were facts (everybody in the meeting thinks...s he thinks... etc) and that a lot of what he says is gossip and that is not healthy. I do not have a them and us and I am not interested in gossip or what people think of eachother etc (can you feel that halo strangling me??)

He thinks we should all say what we think about eachother even if it is bad. I said that was destructive gossip and I don't do that.... and made myself out to be a right bloody saint :)

 So, that was a weird one. He is bloody weird (we all know- cos I gossip about him haha) I imagined what his head would look like and what sound he might make if I squeezed it in the door repeatledly but didn't physically do anything at all. One of the things I told him I couldn't rmember cos I was too tired and chemo had messed with my memory (nothing like playing a cancer card when you have to) That did stop him for a moment he heeee.

I then went and told my mate everything he had said gossip gossip. I will burn in hell, so this treatment better bloody work for a bit longer ha ha haaaa.

So, Saint My then went to another meeeting and came home a little bit spoonless but better than i thought. I thought I would come out and cry but I am not bothered. Before hand i told myself that if I can wait to see a consultant to find out whether you are going to live or die very soon or something inbetween, this is nowt. And it is... No anger or upset or anyhting. Thank you cancer for giving me strength to deal with arseholes... cos it makes them insignificant... the rest of the shite it gives us, I hate it for of course.... #silverlining etc blah brightside bollocks...#  

I was shitting myself before hand (yeah, I know, I do anyway) but I was brave and turned it all back on to him ha haaaaaaaa.

On another note, I am still shitting myself literally. I am getting a bit peed off with this and can't wait to see SC to see what can be done. At the moment he can sew my bloody arse up if that is what it takes, but it seems a tad unfair to have a bag and have to be running to the loo and being incontinent.. Pissflaps.

This seems to be our new way....  have a rant and then say pissflaps or bum or something and that makes it warped.

Sorry I can't remember what you all said but hugs all round and I thought I would tell you em's mission for her hosptal stay... just to get a bit warped...

1. she has to sing really really loudly in the ward. Top of her voice loud. Our current fave song is Take me home, c*nty road.... but I suspect she is open to offers

2. Cancer tourettes. In this game, you have to slip in a rude word innocently into a sentence like you didnt say it... e.g. I'd like a wanker cup of coffee please. You then have to keep your face straight while they do that double take of 'did I hear that? no, I can't have.. but...' ha ha haaaa.

I am going to see her on Wednesday which I am very happy about.

 How cool that out of all the people in the country with cancer, about 10 of them get together on warped and me and ems are just down the road from eachother. Actually, Odin is pretty close too I think. Must be something in the water.

Stor kram and cwtches and bug hugs and light tines and all that

Little Myxxx

Hi all, great to see you back Shaz, and love the posatives, Tim a forth you needed another carp then in the money, love simon the cat is that Claire, ohhhh grrr no chemo brain here just old and forgotten, but great news the boy will be home for christmas, where is the MIL going for her dinner I ask, with baited breath, awaiting response, Odin get that speech done then you can spend more time here, hope all is well for everyone, and not as cold as it is here in Devon, and its brass monkeys here, whatever that means.  Bear hugs all xxx

HI all, just posting to keep my place. Like your Pooh avatar Chrisie.

Hi Lesley, got your place!!

I am going to see ems tomorrow hahaaaa.

I am proud to report that she succeeded in one of her missions and asked for a wanker cup of coffee.

I am very proud of her. And so should all of warped.

I reported to my boss the meeting with the wanker colleague. He burst out laughing and said what a coward he is  cos he did say he had a problem with me to my boss....

He said I am a mischief maker.....

Moi?

Surely not.

Oh, if oly I had enough spoons to make mischief... life would be so much for fun.... what a laugh being accused of something you wished you had the energy to do but cant hahaaaaaa.

Cwtches and stor kram to all of you- where are you all? snoozing in my hut???? Oh, I LOVE my hut. Did you see the piccie of it? Sooooo lovely... I may  become a recluse. Out of spoons from 2 full days at work with idiots (not the kids, they are great of course)  I might nab a snooze on em's bed tomorrow. I'm only little-they shouldn't notice me under the covers at the bottom..

Little My xxx

Where is the picture of your hut LM? I would love to see it.

OK, LM don't shout, the writing's finished!

We're all proud of Ems and wish her all the luck in the world.

See you're putting the hut to good use but where is that picture?

Cwtches and stor krm

Colin xxx