For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Yay!!! Hi Clair, welcome to the wonderful world of warped....  I was wondering if you would jump in... of course now you have, there is no going back mwa ha haaaaa.

Did the baby get wet in the shower?  I hope your sister is expecting a baby or that would be an even  bigger surprise ha ha.

I am not surprised you don't have any inclination to do any work when you've only got 3 weeks left and given notice... grrrr.Put your feet up, drink all their coffee and steal all their spoons for us har har..  Hope you get something even better soon. xxx

For you that don't know, some of us met clairylairyloonybel  in the ranty room having a rant and we  discovered she was a bit of a loony at heart so here she is where she belongs. With all the other loonies. Give her a good ol warped welcome... (whatever the fuck that  

I was going to have a rant or do a blog or something but am too tired. Which brings me to what I was goingt o rant/blog about. I will say it here and sorry it isn't funny but hey, I don't give a shit right now... actually I do give a shit, lots of shits all the time it seems and whenever my arse feels like it. So, after spending most of last night sat on the loo like the good ol days.... I gave up, went to bed and I shit myself in my sleep again last night so I am beginning to think that balloons and ops may not be on the cards anymore..... as what is the point of getting rid of baggy if I am going to shit myself.. then again what is the point of having a baggy if I still am going to shit myself. All I have now is 2 incontinent bums instead of 1. Cheers nhs. That was nice of you... 

 Also, you will be so proud of me some of you, even though I am so so so  cross.... I go to a management meeting on tuesdays and staffing is discussed and today I was on the list. Headmaster says How are you? I said some days I think I can't do this. Others I am ok. I have been fighting to do some work cos I should be able to by now and I hate that I can't do enough and everyone thinks I should be able to do more. I come home and I want to cry cos I am so tired. I don't have the energy to talk to you lot or do anything. So today, I went against myself and said can we talk about my job and what that might mean pay wise cos I can't do it all, even though I want to... Of course we can  they say and maybe we can look at pay etc cos my bosses are really the sweetest and generous and kind people going. My colleagues are arseholes and I have to meet with one who has an 'issue' with me and I can't be arsed with it (probably cos I've got enough arses to be arsed with to bother about other arseholes)  So, I came home and burst into tears cos it is 5 months since treatment and P and the consultant and me think i should be able to do more. That fucks me off no end. Sorry, for the grumpy rant on warped and I know mostof you will be saying hoorah and about bloody time etc but it feels like admitting defeat to me cos I want to be well and feel I should be.

Ok rant over and sorry for clair to get that as her first response. Guess in the long run it will be good cos then I can get enough spoons to laugh which is way more fun.... Just when I was about to get my office... ha hahaaaaa. 

Anyway,  Anyone know where you can buy brown sheets???

Hugs and spoons and cwtches and kram to all

Little My x

Good evening all, and a special cheers (chinks wine glass even though it's only Wed and I usually only drink at weekends, but arses to it,  sorry LM i mentioned arses).  I rang my Specialist Nurse today to see if she could get my CT scan results.  She's brill and will always go that extra mile and is there for you.  Anyway, she rang me back within two hours and my scan is clear  YES, CLEAR YAYYYYY.

Now then, a big hello to Clairlybel, or Clarybel or Caramel oh i think caramel sounds yummy mmmmmm. Welcome to the land of loons.  Don't listen to anyone on here who tries to tell you i'm the alchy of the group or that i send drunk posts 'cos that's not at all true hmmmm.

Oh LM, Oh oh what a pickle you are in.  Shitty sheets, shitty colleague, shitty work worry, shitty arse, shitty cancer worry.  Did I mention shitty sheets!  I think brown is in fashion bedlinen wise at the min. SHITTY CANCER JUST FUCK OFF. All I can offer is a big hug and love and an ear to listen well actually we are electronic so an eye to read hehe.  Rant away rant away we are all here for you and hope for an onwards and upwards at fast pace.

Lesley, glad your scan went OK but the wait isn't so good.  Crossed fingers and positivity at the ready.

Hils I hope you have found your humour along with your lost pillowcase, but you are in a good place under that duvet today, it's sooooo cold and rainy.

Hi to the rest of you and hope you are all doing ok,

Take care

Jan xxxxx

PS I had a pj day today which was much needed and i feel very refreshed for it.  Have managed to catch up on blogs and statuses and spend a good few hours this morning on here, yay. And tonight me and Dunc walked the dog and I just put on boots and my dog coat with PJs underneath, very liberating.  The scousers have got a point haha, it feels good.

Hi-de-hi Claire!

Welcome it's great to see you over here in Warpyland or what ever LM has called it today!

Hi Jan, hope you had a good day and things are OK with your family xxx

Lesley, I did drop you a PM (hope you know about them!) cos I don't have a date for my results as consultant is on hols. Still as I have no date I am not really waiting for the results, am I?

LM, I had a feeling with your work we would only see a teeny bit of you today, but there was a lot more than I expected. I don't want to make fun of you shitting yourself cos it is obviously getting you down, but have you thought of butt plugs? You haven't? Well I think you should, because can I suggest the colleague who has an "issue" with you should receive a butt plug right up their jacksy, then stick a boil in the bag in their underwear and tell them to spend the rest of the day with both and see how it feels. Plan B twat the fucker.

I have just spent 5 mins throwing spoons at you, so hope they get there, and I paid the toll on the bridge to make sure they did.

Tight lines

Tim xxx

Great news!!!!!!! Jan :)

Trying to find my sense of humour... try this:  xxx

Firstly, welcome to clairabella, you do realise you are trapped now and will never escape warped.

LM, I must send you stor stor stor kram. You have been through such a lot and have battled on bravely without allowing your body the rest it deserves. I think that is low enough to say that really you have had a shitty time.

It must have been so difficult to admit that you are not yet ready to carry out all the work that you really enjoy. I've been there and I found it humiliating especially with so many head tilters about.

I'm hopeful that I can carry on with all the things I love doing, but as you know I'm finding it a struggle too. You will get there, but it is going to take more time than you or anyone imagined. It is not helped by the worries about the reversal op and what to do about it. Perhaps you should discuss the latest problems with FC, since he is better looking than GC, although I doubt he is better looking than me or Tim(us men must stick together). Of course you have an assignation with SC in the country and maybe he can help you. You need to resolve this problem that is worrying you, and brown sheets is only a partial answer. I hope P gave you some big welsh cwtches and helped to dry those tears.

The biggest welsh cwtches and a big bear hug from me (to hell with splattering poo over the wall).

BTW. Did you see that Tim won the fishing contest because he was stood by the peg holding the invincibles on the clothes line?

Rant anytime anywhere and we will find you (It's easier now there's no door on the room. Wonder where it went.)

Love and best wishes,

Odin xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And I thought it was an iceberg!

OUCH! Spoon on the head!! Thanks Tim... you popped in there while I was replying...

Make fun of it lots please cos that cheers me up no end! If I can't find the humour in it, then you need to do it for me....  I rather like plan B. I don't have a twat to speak of to twat him with (sorry, that was a bit crude even for warped, but what the fuck) but like the idea and I like the idea of sticking shit bags on him (full ones) too. Boss knows he is a wanker and talks shite but he wants him to tell me whatever it is he is saying rather than him just ranting on to anyone. I may play the cancer card har har.

Odin, my lovely dad... thank you :) Hilary sent me a picture of a cuddly cat hug too.

You lot are the bees knees. I dunno why bees have such cool knees, but thank you. :) :) :) grins and smiles and that eminating from me (and a smell ha ha but we won't talk about that)

You are the loveliest people. I will be better tomorrow and I guess if I do a bit less, it means I can be silly with you lot rather than coming home and ranting in the room instead.

P gave me English hugs cos he's english but they were nice. he also said he would go and get a job stacking trolleys or something if needed awww. He also said he thought i should be better than I am (not aww) but hey, you can't have it all eh?

. Oh! I met a fellow Swede today ha ha. That was coool. She came to visit the school. We talked Viking and made others snigger cos it sounded funny. :)

Anyway, off to lie on the sofa and drink tea and watch crap on the tv... Love you all and thanks :)

Little My xxx

Just popped in for a quickie,

 Nite nite, and a big special nite nite and a big hug LM i'm gonna join you with a little crap TV aswell.

Take care

Jan xxxxxxxxxxxx

Back to the grindstone for me! That talk will never be finished at this rate

Enjoy the crap TV

Odin xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hope you all enjoyed the crap tv, I couldnt watch any hubby had football on, so played bridge on line as I am hooked on it...  Have a wedding to go to  the theme hollywood glamour (bloody silly idea), bought a great dress from the Sue Ryder shop, did not look dirty but smelt a bit charity shop, so washed it, now I am size 18 how the blinkin heck do I get to a size 10 by the 10th of december when all i do is sit about playing bridge....And it was such a great dress.... hope my baby boy is looking after you LM, am sure he is, you are special, even if a bit shitty sometimes. Hope it all subsides soon, and work falls into a big hole so you never have to go back.  No news for son yet, but the stress aint making me loose weight grrrr. maybe go and eat lots of crusty bread and then I will be in the same place as you LM. The only problem is the dress still wont fit as will be bloated and look pregnant, not a good look on an old lady. Think I should be in the room without a door as this is a rant.

Bear hugs to all and take care ...x