For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Hurrah for Tim! (Everyone loves a winner.)

Indeed, hurrah for everyone.

xx

Ow what a lot you lot wrot!

Aww Jan, I'm so sorry to hear about Dad's depression, as someone said it tends to affect everyone so I'm sending the best welsh cwtches to protect you.

Ah Jan, but engagement rings! What an event to look forward to with plenty of drink and... Oh sorry, you've given up haven't you.

wb Chrissie. Don't worry about finding the loo, just get a satnav.

LM, so Ems is going to post about the afternoon shenanigans, with illustrations from the photo booth (love word that).

LM to Ems in 30 minutes? I didn't know there was an airport near Ems, and where do you keep your plane?

Yes LM I have found my boots, they were behind your sofa with the naughty step. I wonder how they got there. And you didn't clean them either.

Tim, So you won £120, that's great. See you in the pub. Good luck with the scan tomorrow, I've got everything crossed including my boobs.

This fishing's a funny lark. When Tim talked about lines, I thought it was fishing lines you tie the hook on, but apparently it's a clothes line with pegs on it. Tim the ladies will appreciate how much hard work you put into pegging out 3 miles of washing. Do people know their place by the colour of the knickers on the line? Depending on where the winner stands, we could have a new phrase in the language, "Lucky pink drawers".

Tight lines and saggy drawers to Tim

stor kram and cwtches ot everyone else.

Odin xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Helloooooooo, I've got 5 days worth of posts to catch up on but I skimmed a few and luckily I noticed Tim was going for his CT scan today and I am as well.  Not sure where you live yet, will nosy on your profile in a minute.

Think it was Hilary with the tiny spoon on a chain, sounds lovely.

LM started Facebook (saw that on your list), come join me and you can read my every moan and winge in my status updates!!!

Can't remember who told me (I thought it was one of you lot) but to find Warped I now go to 'My Account' and 'Activity', click on the last time I posted on Warped, and it takes me to the last page i posted on :)

Tim, did I mention my brother had his iliostomy reversed recently? His tumour (non-cancerous thankfully) had attached itself to his sigmoid and part of his small intestine, I've only just discovered, so he had two holes to contend with. He's doing well.

Everything crossed for Tim and Lesleyk for the scans today, if you are at the same hospital Lesley you will know its Tim he will be the guy with the fat wallet, unless he has already got the shiney things.xx

Howdy all!

What a lovely lot you are being so kind and happy for me, thanks very much!

Odin, I must admit you have made me laugh out loud (bad idea when in the office!)  with your laundry comments! Using your logic I reckon I must have been on the invincible pants peg, don't worry all the washing was picked up and taken home after the match.

Lesley, thanks for letting me know about your brother, and glad that he is doing well and not had the dread C. My concern over the reversal is that they took away a fair bit of my rectum, and obvioulsy the rectum has the important "hold or release" controls. So as you can imagine if those controls don't work anymore I will be in shit street, quite literally! Still, I have to give it a go otherwise I will never know, but I do expect some messy times ahead, but at least then LM won't be on her own shitting herself! Of course I'm still waiting for a date for the reversal.

I'm actually sat here eating lunch before the deadline approaches for no more food before scan. Last time I had a scan I nearly hit the ceiling from the pain when they injected the dye into a vein in my hand. I will be reminding the radiographer of this episode and that unless he wants to be called a fucking wanker again he should ease it in gently. I'm talking about the dye of course, you dirty minded lot!

Tight Lines

Tim xxx

Chrisie, isn't it about time that you passed our Swedish toyboy on.......or is he permanently knackered and not fit for purpose anymore?

Jan, glad you have found a way to get Vicki's ring size. Three years ago I opened a Christmas present from my mum in which she had written a lovely message. She had given me my Granny's engagement ring, which she was going to leave me in her will but.......nobody ever said it out loud but everybody (inc medical people) thought it was going to be my last Christmas. Its very unusual as it is Indian gold with 3 rubies surrounded by diamonds. It is so small I can't fit it on my little finger!

Tim, I'm glad the pegging out paid off. Might have known LM would be at the front asking for a trollbead! A round of drinks doesn't come cheap, and then a bottle of wine for the missus, and something for the kids! Anyway, I hope good fortune has continued today :-)

I laughed at Odin's washing line comment. Wonder if Tim's family realised where all their knickers had disappeared, and why they are all in the washing machine!

Lesley, I think I read that you were having a scan....hope yours went well too.

Worst part of those CT scans were the grotty drink you had to have! The last CT I had they had to scan part of me, then disconnect part of the machine to take it the other side for more dye for a further scan. Unfortunately they couldn't undo the machine so they had to take out the canula and put another one in! BUGGER! Glad I'm not the only one to abuse people who delight in inflicting pain!

Live life, make mistakes, HAVE FUN xxxxxxxxxxx

Evening all,

Brilliant Tim, you won wow and rewarded with lots of pennies yay, and then went and drank them with your mates, hurrayyyy.   Did you have to clear all the knickers and line and pegs up afterwards?

Scans done for you and Lesley and I hope everything went smoothly.  And also that you both didn't stray too far from the toilet afterwards!!!!!  That stuff soon finds its way out the other end hehe.

Forgot what I was going to say now, oh bugger, and who said what, oh never mind. 

Oh I just read on Hilary's status she's lost her humour after chemo, it must have gone with the pillowcase.  Sorry Hils, that just isn't funny hehe (giggling to myself).  Hope you are feeling snuggly in your duvet, (((hugs)))).

Right i'm off to talk to Dunk, he's feeling left out again, 'cos i've been catching up around this site for the past hour.

Take care you loony lot

Jan xx

Hi all good morning.

Scan drink wasn't too bad Stinker, I have the white one which is apparently milder in it's effects. Intestines were grumbling all the way home. I told the scanner lady that I had a cough and i hoped I'd be able to hold my breath in, so she didn't switch the voice on saying "Breathe deeply, and hold your breath"!!!!! So if they have a fuzzy scan it's her fault.

When I came out there was a bloke in full flow, loud voice, "women this, women that", so I sat down and watched a while. Living with a wind-up merchant I can spot one a mile off, so I waited for him to catch his breath before asking "Are you employed here to raise people's blood pressure?" Haha, that slowed him down. Then everybody just started chatting normally. Then he ruined his misogynist act by saying "Ladies first" for me to have my canula out! There was one lady who had come on National Express all the way from Liverpool :O (I'm at The Christie in Manchester).

Results on the 15th Dec. When do you get yours Tim?

Hi all,

I've been lurking for a while and am finally posting :)

Thanks for the welcome Little My and the new name Clairdeloon is probably quite appropriate!!

We had a surprise baby shower for my sister this weekend. I've had it planned for about 2 months (that's longer that I took to plan my wedding lol!!) - the look of shock on her face when she walked in was priceless! I wish I'd had a camera. 

Tom's doing well - he's happy job hunting for me and being a pillow for the cat. No luck on the job front yet.

Big hugs to everyone

Clair xxxx