Cancer Widow/Widower Club

hi maggie i am in cleveland near Saltburn. could get train if a meet up is planned at some point. Any others on this journey near me , it would be nice to meet up. take care and hugs to all.

hi, all had my assessment counselling will have about 6/8 weeks at the moment. then see how i go, talking was  easy . it was a short meeting i should hear  what day i go next week . it will last two  hours with complimentary therphy too. i cried  i helps to share it with someone. had busy weekend my daughter took me to ikea. got lost found it in end. i was so glad to get out the shop two hours was long enough to be in one place . i need headache tabs. felt really stressed being there as it was busy too. hope everyone bearing up well xxx

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#

One of us has had the foresight to start a widowed over 50s group on facebook.  The link above you get you there

Tried that link Midge but just got my normal facebook page come up

Pammie xx

Hello Ashbonce, so sorry to hear you lost your hubby recently, lost my wife of 52 years in October, they tell me it gets easier but never easy !  well it is a bit easier since Christmas but still too many weepy moments ,fortunately for me in private , me being a bit machoish . 

. I'm just wondering is your  blog for widows or are you including widowers as well ?,  No I'm not going to play the sexist card , don't want to intrude on your intentions but we men need something likewise.  keep strong as they who have not been there tell us , I only listen to those who I know have gone through this before me and you can get on with life, your partner would have wanted it, its the fear of her wrath that  derives me, seriously

Hi Wiljon, you are welcome here.  I am sorry for the reason you came to this site, but glad you could join us.  I lost my husband on 23rd September of last year and it has truly been a roller coaster ride.  You are still so very new to this and the best advice I can give you is take each day as it comes and if you can't do days then do hours.  Looking back to the first few weeks after I lost Martin, all I could do was cry and wonder whatever did we do to deserve this.  Then you venture out of your dark place and realise that you are not 'special' you are just one of many many people who have lost their partners.  The other advice I will give is, keep reading and if you feel strong enough, keep posting.  That is what literally saved my life in the beginning.  We had been married for 44 years and life without him was just not an option.  But I have got through the past 4 months, and think I have come to this place a bit stronger than when I went in.  It is still very hard and I do still get very very dark days, but in between these I am finding not so bad days, days when I do not cry and days when I can remember the good times, not just the times when he was ill.  He was diagnosed with stomach cancer and only lived for 5 months after the diagnosis.  I was angry, so angry, why me, why so short a time.  But then why not me, what made me so special that things like this did not happen.  And if he had lived longer, what sort of life would that have been. 

I have spoken to people who are further down the line than us, and I do believe it does get easier.  You never forget, but you learn to live with the loss.  I hope you have family nearby who can help.  Don't be afraid to ask.

So, take care and keep posting

Regards

Pammie

Thanks Pammie, we all know how we feel , just no one word to sum it up , I'm alright as long as I am busy, big problem was that Jean going in October was not the best time of year as if there ever was one. I blamed my wife  ( family joke, I can hear her giggling )  We were lucky we could joke about things ,  even when I accused her of having to have something common as the latest figures show. But the emptiness in my heart has really shaken me . 

Hi Wiljon

You know what everyone is welcome.  I've asked the administrator to change it but she hasn't, when I created the site it was for everyone male and female, but to be honest I thought Widow was for both it's only afterwards someone said widdower was for a male, so my apologies.

You are always welcome to come on here have a chat let off some steam, tell us brilliant stories about your wife and the adventures you had together, cry, laugh, dance sing whatever makes you feel able to cope. 

This blog or forum was for people to know that, your not alone in your emotions and that at some point somone would have gone through it and through their experience be able to give you some piece of mind that it does get easier.

Thank you ashbonce,  was on the chat line this p.m. and said it had been a decent day, hat was trill I went into the bederoom to get clean clothes for  evening after a shower and found  I forgot it was clean bedding day, that soon changed it.   Now on the mundane things which  are what we obviously miss when we lose a partner , something wife never sorted out , I think she thougfht it was a good thing when she did not have the strength to put on a duvet cover, but, what is the best way YOU know to get the  things on.  This query will eventaully appear in many other places , could never  see hown they manage in hotels changing  almost every day, or should be.  You will gather I am a traditionalist I still wash mainly on Monday .

Hi All

Try thi faebook link, if it doen't take you there jut type widowed over 50 in the earch

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/home.php?sk=group_132031893527449