Cancer Widow/Widower Club

Mariane,

Out of the mouths of babes.........what a lovely thing for your grnddaugthter to say.  I hope her words brought you some comfort. 

It's four months now since I lost Gary.  I wouldn't say it gets easier with time, just slightly more bearable.  Sometimes I feels so guilty at moving on with my life without him. 

A job move for him twenty years ago forced us to move away from family and friends.  It was always our interntion to move back when we retired, sadly Gary's illness prevented that, but he was anxious that I should be nearer our daughters so, against all advice not to make major decisions for a year,  I am seriously thinkin about going for it in the next few months.  Somehow, it feels that for me, the time is right.

Gary will never leave me, I will hold him in my memory wherever I am. 

Hope everyone has had as good  day as possible.

Daffie  xxx

Hello All,
Life is so lonely now. When i feel too bad I watch this video on youtube:
WARNING: THIS STORY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh4hVXacjxo

It must have been a very difficult day for you Marianne, but the comment made by your little granddaughter was priceless, and I'm sure you'll treasure that memory for years to come.  I also have a 3 year old granddaughter, along with one at 6 months and also a 7 year old grandson and it can be hard to be with them without my wife by my side but they do bring such comfort, the older two often saying something poignant related to the loss of their dear Nan .... so innocently!  ..... all memories to cherish.

Take care .... Trev

Stick with us now Marianne, it isn't over yet  and we still all need each other. All the best   Bill.

This is it, the 6 month mark, to the  day , Wednesday and the date, the 20th , got to wonder what sort of a day it will be, not too bad so far past the critical 05.50 time.    How neat was that  05.50 on20/10/2010 .  Bill all alone.

Hope you get through the day OK Bill .... always difficult!  It's Pam's birthday the week after next so that'll be my challenge. 

Take care   Trev

Bill, I haven't shared this before, but hope it might help you on Wednesday.

At the three month anniversary of Gary's death,  I felt the need to do something in rememberance.  His ashes have not yet been scattered, so I had nowhere to focus on.  Lighting a candle somehow felt right.  I bought a nice simple candle lamp which I keep next to my favourite picture of him. 

I have lit the candle on evenings when there is a special anniversary or family event to mark. Lighting the candle is  a very  private act , and seeing the flame brings me great comfort.

Thinking of you Bill.

Marianne.x

Thank you folks for your thoughts , an absolutely beautiful day just like the late April day we first  saw this house and fell in love with it and never want to move . A very busy one in the garden but still no one out there to share the pleasures and pains you always get with a garden and I don't mean the backache, no one in the house either to tell about it , what is doing well and what we have lost this winter. Plans still flexible for this year how I miss as second opinion .

All the best for next week Trev , I was told early on its easier after the first year when all the anniversaries are over so I am doing a countdown to that and half way , ticking them off on the  calendar , keeps the mind focussed on surviving .

Daffie, that sounds  nice thing to do with the ashes , there are so many options to find what is right for you and what gives you comfort .

Marianne, hanging in with us , good,  keep strong .               Bill.

Bill I so understand how you feel, as do we all I guess in macland.

Its hard to know if the weather helps or inders isnt it?

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you.

Take Care,

Kay