Awake and up all night

Ya know, that's about the ONLY thing OH doesn't suffer from...sweaty feet! Lol  Nyt hon xxx

My GP is usually helpful, and these days I don't have to pay for an appointment (it's usually €50, and my income has dropped by €2k a month so nothing is affordable). But after the disaster of the 'deep cleaning' in May when I lodged a page and a half of serious complaints, his receptionist became uncharacteristically unpleasant to me so I haven't been back.

I need to do something, as an unrelated issue has arisen with my eyesight and I need to see my optician urgently. I don't know if I can get treatment for that while everything else is going on.

I AM autistic, at the high IQ (134) poor social skills point on the spectrum. Yes, it's a spectrum so there's no 'stereotype'.

I had a visit from a hospital social worker in May, heard nothing since. As for any sort of religious representative, if anyone in that category came anywhere near me I would get angry and throw them out in no uncertain terms.

Daffodil centres are mostly in Dublin, the rest (I think only 3) are in major cities so not accessible.

I am in touch with the Irish Cancer Society helpline but they can only advise in general terms.

There is a cancer support centre 45 minutes away but I have not found them helpful so far and can't afford their services. They have opened a hub more locally, but that is 25 minutes away. There's one near the 'chemo' hospital which is too far away.

Being on the autism spectrum at what used to be called Aspergers I find contact with strangers hard to handle unless by email. Even telephone calls are stressful.

Because 75% of the population lives in Dublin or the handful of other cities, most services are concentrated there. Regional hospitals cover general problems and A&E, but don't normally have specialist facilities that require expensive equipment as it is mot cost effective. The exception is chemo, where 'normal' equipment is used plus the drugs. There is no general hospital in the county where I live, let alone a cancer facility.

The community nurse sent to me years ago tried to enter my house without ringing the bell and waiting, and because the door was locked she was extremely put out. She then proceeded to talk to me like I was a mentally deficient 6 year old, in a silly voice. She found a skin rash and was delighted about it. My house was substantially unfinished at the time so no shower on the ground floor where I sleep, and I had been told not to use the stairs. I had done my best with soap and water from the sink, which was actually connected. When I explained things, she looked at me like I had two heads.

Never again! 

No, you are not coming across as bossy, I know you are trying to help and I appreciate that.

Hmmm. Look up 'aspergers' and read about sudden bouts of bad temper, meltdowns and social difficulties, all of which I keep under control in normal times. My dogs help enormously but they have been away since May. So things are particularly difficult now. Nobody in the medical profession seems to care about this and promised help never happened.

No way am I ever going to accept that b**** or anyone else who chooses to be disrespectful and rude. I will collect new dressings and change them myself if necessary. I don't like strangers in my house anyway, let alone unpleasant, unwanted irritants like her.

I'm out of here.

Goodbye.