Awake and up all night

Fuuuuuu! What a journey! Although it was always going to be a challenge, the undiscussed or consented pills clearly poured nitroglycerin into the works. 

During his hospital post operative stay, was anybody providing psychological support or even discussing how both of you thought the other was coping? 

I was about to say how do pills with significant effects not get discussed but scrub that

It is a pity OH regrets his decision but long-term thinking must be difficult in those circumstances.

A real pity you both didn't get to talk with some actual people further along their journey at that time.

Is there any opportunity for OH and you to meet with others and their families now?

• Cheers

I'd prefer a 3 minute session once a day as that's surely not too much to ask. I know, I'll pull the plug on Sky if he won't conform - no sports of any description.

My will to live is already out of the door and halfway down the garden, Ray  xxx

There were no discussions, Shims. Maybe they thought OH wasn't interested - he wasn't interested in anything - and I may have given the impression that I was superwoman as I never cried in front of anyone and kept up a jokey demeanor throughout. Wrong, wrong.

I've pleaded with him to meet other laryngectomees and although he's agreed, now, his team needs to get their arses in gear. I'll be on to them again at his next clinic.

I've approached people myself when I've spotted a neck stoma, and never been met with anything but eagerness to spill all xxx

Shimmers, your 'long term thinking' comment struck a note with me. When I was discharged in late 2018 after nearly kicking the bucket earlier that year, my attitude was not pessimistic but I could not make any plans or have thoughts about anything more than two weeks ahead. It led to me neglecting the maintenance of my house, thinking it would be someone else's problem. It took at least 5 years to shake that attitude off. I'm now happy to think 4 weeks ahead. xxx

The truth, Ray xxx

Why is it that in the face of so much complex and difficult stuff, 

the simple and easy stuff STILL is like pushing a greasy rock uphill?!

Cheers

I know. Although I've used the expression it's like pushing water uphill to his team and doctors alike. They tend not to like my attitude but I'm fighting for OH here.

Maybe I should buy a stethoscope and wear that, then they might take notice of what I'm trying to tell them. Sheesh xxx

Yeah... what is the difference between realism and pessimism when the outlook isn't rosey? Is it preferable or insanity to tap dance and cartwheel towards the cliff edge wearing a big grin?

Complicated by aspects of depression and trauma that include the inability to make choices or decisions and to think about days ahead never mind weeks and more.

Ooh look at us being all grown up and sensible!

Cheers

Anyway gang, sleepy time for me now.

Shimmer, I hope you're not regretting joining the group as you might think we're loonies. Then again maybe not.

Night night lovelies and thanks for the chat xxx

1. I'm sure if Gill had stormed into the ward wearing a stethoscope I'd have agreed to think three weeks ahead straightaway.