Awake and up all night

Hi Amanda's sorry to hear you have had a rough few days. Hope you feel better soon. I am not coping very well in this heat. I am sat in front of the fan trying to keep cool. Get plenty of rest sweetheart. Sending love and hugs.xxx

Good evening 

no i just dont seem to function properly in the heat. Hope youve had a good day and been upto something nice. 

Yes i am same as you i have been sat infront of fan all day. With a flannel on my forehead. The heat makes me feel tired but then i cant sleep. Lol im not a monor usually but this heat isnt for me.

Hi Amanda

I'm sorry that you've felt rough after the chemo, the heat certainly won't help.

Hopefully you'll feel better soon.

We've got a bit of a cool breeze here at the moment so it's not feeling too bad this evening. 

H 

Hi Rosie, I am just catching up with the latest posts.

You say you are in pain although it's your husband who is the patient. As well as hurting emotionally and mentally do you have physical pain?

How is your own physical health?

Please don't believe that the way your husband makes you feel has any credibility. He has gone through processes he didn't want and is now a version of himself he wouldn't have chosen. You are a very handy and safe person for him to throw all his vitriol at.

It is difficult for you as you have given and given, and adapted and changed and lived all the questions, the stress and worry, the shock of diagnosis, the challenges of treatment and all the while holding your breath and smiling and being strong and being there.

Your inner resources have been stretched to breaking point, and he is still yanking at them.

Yes there are things he needs and may benefit from but right now let's think about you.

You are vulnerable because so much of your recent  life and time have been all about him. If your life was filled with other people and other things that made you feel capable, charismatic, dynamic, and wanted, you would just KNOW you are beautiful.

As it is, you have his negativity repelling all your efforts to share your need to receive and give affection and comfort let alone getting jiggy.

He has his reasons for feeling how he does, and behaving the way he is but right now you need to put yourself first.

I suspect he is reluctant right now to seek support with how he is feeling. As others have said, the cancer journey, surgery etc rolls on but then the tour manager disappears when you get off the bus.

The bus stop is in a place you used to know but things aren't quite the same.

Hubby is struggling. You though can reach out for you. This is not selfish, it is self preservation and you need to be strong and deserve to be happy.

It is ok to find things that are enjoyable and people who are pleasant company to spend time with. There is support for hubby and hopefully he will become receptive to it but you don't have to wait. 

You becoming stronger and getting your life back on track is something you do for the both of you.

There are sections in the forum for family members and carers which are able to share their insights in situations such as yours. Of course it is ok to keep chatting here too, in this bit of the forum for people who find themselves awake at silly o clock.

Gentle hugs

Hello Amandas, I have not done a busting lot today as the heat and humidity drained my energy. A few minutes ago we had a heavy shower which lasted 10 minutes, together with 3 or 4 rolls of thunder. The shower has freshened the air a bit. Fortunately, I remembered to close my car windows about an hour ago. Next task is to see what is left in the fridge or freezer. My appetite has perked up. Last night I washed my hair at 3am and left it quite wet when I went to bed shortly afterwards. Together with my fan and a sneaky choc ice, I slept rather well.  xxx

Good evening I understand. My day is not bad still trying to sort out this blue badge. Hopefully it is okay now. You are not moaning you are being very brave. It is not easy going through chemo. My son had 4 rounds of it and I saw what it did to him. You have all my sympathies.xxx

Evening Ray you can send the thunder my way we need a good clear out!!

Thank you i was saying to my husband its so hard cos you dont know how side effects are going to affect you cos everyone is different. 

No heat makes it worse last treatment was boiling hot too. 

Glad youve got a breeze we had a bit of rain earlier her in cardiff but it didnt last long. 

Amanda x

Hi.sending gentle hugs. 

I posted quite a lengthy reply but it seems to have disappeared into the ether.

If it doesn't show up, I will try again.

Take care

Evening Sonia, I'll do my best but may need permission and advice from Gill if she is willing to allow thunder to go anywhere else. xxx