Awake and up all night

Good evening Ekdadad, and welcome to our group ️

Sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis and it's not surprising you're going through a tough time - it hits hard when it does.

If you'd like to join the anal cancer group too, a community champion will provide the link. But keep posting here anytime you like for general support and chat 

Sending you hugs xxx

they were for me . I asked the MacMillan nurses to sort a ton of ‘Lidocaine’ for me from the GP, which I applied when it was really bad , and to numb the area before I went to the loo . Alongside this I balanced the use of Cocodamol with mega strength ibruprophen . I also had a small personal water spray installed at the side of the loo, which meant I didn’t have to use paper . The cold waster was both cleansing and soothing . You can buy them from Temu 

Thank you for the welcome  my wife has finished her 6 weeks of daily chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Back at the beatson in 2 weeks to see if the treatment has worked. She had to get a stoma prior to treatment starting too. It was such a shock, we are only 45

My wife had stoma surgery prior to treatment, that alone has been a majot life change

That's a big life changing thing to go through, especially since you're both still young.

I'm pretty sure your wife doesn't feel you're useless and neither should you my lovely. It's a lot to suddenly get used to, for you both, but hang on in there and eventually you'll start to get to grips with all the care her condition entails.

My OH has a neck stoma so I do understand where you're coming from. I hope her pain will eventually be brought under control, and Phil's provided some really good information.

All my very best wishes for when you get the results xxx

Hello, and a warm welcome from me too. 
Wishing you all the very best for your surgery. Sending love. xx

A very warm welcome to the group. x

A very warm welcome from me too. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. Good luck in 2 weeks with the results. x

Welcome to the group. Hope you can get some real support here. Know I have.

Totally get where you are coming from. My wife was in a lot of pain before she even got diagnosed and I also felt useless. But being there day after day through the difficult times, the times when you both cry together, laugh together, struggle together is the best you can do. A hug, a smile, a comforting word, sorting out the messy stuff, being there at appointments, consultations, scans, operations, letting your other half rant, get angry with you is not being useless. Sometimes you can feel lonely and scared and want everything to be back to normal. Gill put it so succinctly to me when she said it was like grieving for a lost life and a worrying future. It's got to be one day at a time my dear friend, one foot in front of the other and accepting the here and now. It's ok not to be ok. It's ok not to feel you're not coping. Talk to the amazing people on here. They are heroes and angels