Not wanting timescales

Hi DenB10

When my wife was diagnosed she was very clear she did not want a prognosis - the how long question. I really struggled with that especially as we had a young son. If we look around the site though we will often find people who have easily outlived a prognosis, then there are some who seemed to die to order and in some cases people who died before their prognosis (some times of course not even from the cancer!) - the friends and family of the later set often feel even more robbed than they expected.

Of course nobody really knows how long they have left and a cancer prognosis is just a guess based on averages and based on historic data too.

We have always been open with our son about my wife's cancer, it is not always easy for him but it is much better he knows the truth because I am certain he feels more secure being included and could easily imagine things worse than they are and that somehow he might be responsible.

One of the potential issues with getting a prognosis is that it can be a genie that will not go back in to the bottle.

<<hugs>>

Steve

1. Hi Steve thanks so much for your reply, I’m really sorry for your families pain and suffering. I do agree honesty is the best policy in your circumstance. I always guessed I had leukemia but the shock when I was told to get my affairs in order and inform my family came as a great shock (from which I still feel a little numb) i totally agree about the Genie stuff, I often say to my wife I’m sorry I ever went to ask for a blood test then I wouldn’t know but that’s just burying my head in the sand. Anyway Steve I pray and hope your find the strength to enjoy whatever you do.

Hi - it hasn't been very long since your diagnosis.  You need to give yourself time to come to terms with it.  For example, how I felt about it changed from 4 weeks after to 12 weeks after.    The only thing that matters in all this is you.  There are no hard and fast rules, they are your rules.  And no one else's view on your rules is important.  

I would just shelve the prognosis thing for now and concentrate on the now, the info required to determine treatment, what that's going to look like etc

Also remember that it isn't all doom and gloom.  Lots of new treatments are becoming available, like immunotherapy.  Lots of cancers are very treatable.  The new treatments also mean timescale estimates are 5 years out of date.  5 years is generally how long stats take to become current.  A 5 year survival is a key metric.  

No one has your cancer in your body with your immune system.  drs don't know why the same treatment on the same cancer doesn't work the same universally.  

Once you have your second monitoring scan, after starting treatment, things will become clearer and factual.  Right now is the toughest time, the wait, the unknown treatment probably.  

Thanks so much for that, it’s amazing what reading that can do coming from some one not related. It’s very worrying times but your response has actually lifted me today as I’m sitting here having a blood transfusion. Thanks so much once again.