35yr old mum of 2

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Hello, just reaching out to say hi and introduce myself,

I found out I had breast cancer at the beginning of September. I was told it was largely pre cancerous with some signs of invasive cancer. I was told I would need a mastectomy on my cancerous side, so for many reasons I opted for a double mastectomy.

I am 5 weeks post surgery and have just found out the cancer was more invasive than they believed and I will be recommended for chemo, radiotherapy and anti HER2 therapy. 

i am going through all the emotions of having to accept I may not have the 3rd baby I always wanted as well as the impending reality I will lose most of my very long hair (which I know isn’t the most important in the grand scheme of things but does not make any easier).

I’m mostly hoping this group may give me a little bit of peace when I’m feeling so helpless xx

  • Hi Millie,

    I was diagnosed at 35 y/o two years ago, so I can relate to how you're feeling and I'm sorry you're going through the same! I had multiple operations, chemo, radio, then found out I have a brca1 mutation and so was offered a targeted therapy treatment and opted for a preventative double mastectomy earlier this year. I'm now 7 months since the end of my very last treatment, and all I can tell you is that there is the chance of a very good life still after treatments end. Whilst it's tough at first to think about losing your hair, it does grow back pretty quickly and personally, I cherish it that bit more ever since! I had long hair all my life and discovered that actually I really like my hair short ever since it grew back.

    In regards to fertility, have your team mentioned anything about egg freezing? I was offered it before I started chemo, although I didn't take it up in the end for different reasons. I also had injections during chemo to put me into a temporary menopause and hopefully try to protect my reproductive organs from the chemo. My periods restarted this year (after I finished my last treatment), and I am advised that if I do want to start a family, I have to wait two years after the end of my last treatment. It's probably not going to be on the cards for me, but still, there is always some hope.

    Wishing you the best of luck on your journey x

  • Hi, thanks for your reply. 
    would you say you received treatment for over a year then all in? I’m glad you’ve shed some positivity on the situation for me. I know it could be far worse and I’m doing my best to be so positive for others but internally it’s feeling very overwhelming. But know I’ll come out of it stronger. I’m so glad you’re doing well xx

  • I had 5 months of chemo and a month and a half of radiotherapy with operations before & after chemo. From diagnosis to the end of radiotherapy was 9 months in total. My cancer was triple negative and very aggressive, so the treatment can be more intense because there are not many other treatments available outside of chemo/radio. Each plan is unique depending on many things, so you may have a completely different plan.

    It's normal that you feel overwhelmed if you think what you've been through in such a short space of time, so I think you have to take your hat off to yourself for getting through it and try to take each day at a time. I found it easier to focus on the small steps directly in front of me rather than the big overwhelming picture.

    It is definitely very overwhelming in the beginning, and personally, I found the limbo in between diagnosis and starting chemo the hardest part. I seemed to be hit with bad news after bad news and my whole world felt very uncertain from one day to the next. It seems strange to say but it was so much better once I started chemo as I was taking action against it and there was a lot less uncertainty. Life felt a lot calmer after all the crazy appointments, scans and results post diagnosis and I just had to crack on with the plan. Everyone reacts differently, but for me, chemo was nowhere near as bad as I anticipated, I had side effects, but they were very manageable and I was able to continue working (from home), going to the gym (at the quietest times to avoid germs) and I ate very healthily (and continue to do so). I hope that you will start to feel less overwhelmed too once you start your treatment.

    What are the next steps for you? Have you got any more scans/tests to do or an appointment to discuss your treatment plan?

    xx