Is it back?

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So I'm usually a really chilled, happy little soul who gets called 'The Sunshine Kid' I know I am very lucky in life, having a home and enough food is something I am always grateful for. I hate complaining!! People go though so much everyday so this is a very horrible feeling for me, so please bear with me here!!

I was 23 when I was diagnosed with grade 3 stage 3 breast cancer, with lymph node spread and vascular invasion. I had no family history or genetic links so it was very random!! I never got upset and just thought 'urgh that's inconvenient' I had fertility treatment (that was weird) two types of chemo one did nothing the other very, very minimal, double mastectomy, all lymph nodes removed from one side, radiotherapy and then some more chemo as there was still live cancer about and the vascular invasion stuff (my head comes up with hilarious little guys marching around, which makes me laugh). However true to my name I managed to graduate uni with my friends and luckily I rocked the pirate, headscarf look!! 

I am now 29 and still struggling with the weight gain, I went from a size 6 to a 12 because of the steroids (that was super rude of my body!!) I had just started loosing a decent amount of weight back down to an 8 and thinking to myself 'come on, you're milking it now' I won't let the fatigue and lymphoedema in my arm be an excuse!! Again, my fat, crab arm is a source of amusement for me. I was struggling with nausea and occasional vomiting for no apparent reason, so I was taken for a CT scan. It was all good, my organs are looking great, which is a very nice compliment!!

However I got a call saying they found a nodule (I enjoy that word for some reason) in the side I had the cancer in. I am sure it's fine but I was sent for an ultrasound on Friday and again the little nodge, as I call it, was visible. The guys at the hospital took 5 cell biopsies and I get the results tomorrow. Again I am normally so 'it could be so much worse and it's nothing to worry about' so this is very odd!! I had dreams about shaving my head again (I've lost my hair twice before and I have a massive, ginger, curly mane) and I am barely sleeping, I think subconsciously I'm a bit worried!!I think I am trying to work out what nodge could be as I have no lymph nodes in that side and can't think of anything other than scar tissue,

So yeah that is where I am right now and I feel bad for rambling and being selfish but yeah, hello people hope things are good and you have all had a lovely day!!