Age 50, diagnosed at 49 and lonely. Can I be an honorary member?

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  • 17 subscribers

... because, I am not in the same demographic as 60 and 70 year olds who more typically have stage 4 breast cancer. Please please let me join you...or if not, Macmillan you need a group for those in middle life.

I was diagnosed pretty much straight at stage 4 from nothing about 14 months ago. It was grim - More is in my profile. 

I was hoping for a few short years of pre menopause having just met the woman of my dreams...sadly, I got ill. Though luckily for me she stuck right by my side :-). Still, I was young when I got ill and now I look like an old lady, thanks to cancer and hormone treatments.

Anyone else on here stage 4 and previously fit young and healthy? (My anaesthetist's famous last words...he thought he just had to keepe alive for the surgeon to remove a contained primary)

Hope to meet you soon, youngsters.



  • Hi Sarah49,

    Just read your story and it is absolutely heart breaking.

    I am not at stage 4 but started my cancer journey in October last year at age 39. 

    How are you feeling about it all now (mentally and physically)? I understand the loneliness as you can feel that there is no one else going through what you are going through. 

    I'm new here too so unsure how to sign off on messages Upside down


  • Hi Nasa,

    It's nice to meet you. I'm sorry about your diagnosis. What sort of cancer do you have? Any diagnosis of cancer of any stage is a big deal, and 39 is not the age you want it to be happening.

    I am benefiting from meeting others is a similar situation to myself. If you are lucky enough to be being treated with curative intent you will still find that life won't seem the same as it did before you were ill. I think it's important to develop new things such as friendships to be sustaining in my now life.

    I am currently not brilliantly well as my liver is unhappy and I don't know why yet. I was always a very physically active person in my before life, did a lot of mountaineering and had a physical job. I'm reconnecting with music and creative hobbies. Today my 'mountain' will be a flat dog walk round a reservoir with my family, ie girlfriend and dog. It's a beautiful day. That's what I can manage

    What sort of cancer do you have?


  • Hiya Sarah,

    So i started off as pre-invasive but when they did my mastectomy they found invasive cancer that had spread to one of my sentinal lymphnodes, that was last November/early December and i have been told it is stage 1b - er positive and her negative - they say its a good cancer to have as its treatable- I guess they say that to make people feel better (doesnt work, but will take the small win) - no chemo required but i will be doing radiotherapy and 10 yr tamoxifen. 

    It has been a massive shock and im only really letting it sink in now. Im a project manager so deal with everything like its a project lol. 

    In our current situations everyday is a beautiful day, the little things we took for granted or moaned about before are now welcome! 

    I have found setting myself weekly milestones helps a little too. This week was to return to work and clear the backlog of emails lol. Promise next week i will do something more exciting.


  • Oh Nasa that's a tough set of experiences you've had. 

    When I was diagnosed with 'just' my primary, it was like a train landing on my life. The implications are huge...

    No one wants to be part of the breast cancer community but you are now, and you will find it contains some extraordinary people...

    Keep going Muscle


  • HI  

    I've just turned 50 in the process of my diagnosis. My biopsies were 2 days after my Birthday (Happy Birthday to me).

    Newly diagnosed with grade 2 lobular, not staged yet - MRI yesterday as the ultrasound couldn't find anything so we're supplementing the mammo images.

  • I'm another one in this bracket. Was 49 when I found symptoms and was diagnosed with Grade 2 invasive breast cancer just after my 50th birthday. I've had surgery, radiotherapy and am on tamoxifen for 10 years, plus am awaiting an appointment for a breast reduction on 'good' side to level up my boobs!

    I'm now 51 and find that a lot of the chats on the main breast cancer group aren't so relevant as many of the women were post-menopausal when diagnosed. You can read a bit more about timelines etc if you click on my name. 

    Nice to connect and sorry you find yourself in this situation xxx