Hi,
I'm a recurrence breast cancer person and I turned 30 a few days back. I'm currently having weekly chemo and I'm feeling really fed up with it!! I have a syringe driver for three days after so have three days a week where I'm not connected to some sort of machine.
I'm currently staying with my parents while I'm visited by nurses to sort my driver and although I live less than a song away by car (I am a big music nerd) I feel so sad I'm not at my house. I live in a little rented house with a strict landlord who won't let me change curtains or lampshades and does very extensive checks every month or so, even going through cupboards to see pipes. I feel so lucky to have the space but feel I have nowhere that is mine and where I can be me. This is a big argument point as my mum does alot for me (I have autism so require lots of support) she calls it assisted live which I guess it is. She gets angry I want to go home and enjoy being alone, she feels I'm lying to her and not telling her what I'm doing. I'm honestly scrapbooking, knitting, sewing ect. She is very assertive in her speech and has been calling me really selfish and we are now not speaking. I think I have got aggy as I'm so fed up and just feel trapped. Does this make sense to anyone?? Don't get me wrong my mum is my world and I love her so much!! I just don't know what's going on and why she is becoming more difficult to cope with. My dad has also argued with her for saying nasty things and he's finding it hard too.
I feel guilty that I am stressing them out and being bad. Does anyone know what I'm trying to say here?? Sorry it's very confusing!!
Thank you for reading my verbal nonsense!!
Sunshine kid
