So I've had the all clear which I'm so happy about obviously. I'm due radiotherapy next week and although I know its not going to be like chemotherapy which I was so ill with. I'm really freaking out about it all. I don't know why! I've still not quite dealt with everything that happened from diagnosis to being told I'm cancer free. I've had a couple of panic attacks which ive never experienced in my life. Just wanted to know if others have had similar feelings.
Hello Flowers22
I understand what you are saying. My chemo and radiotherapy were adjuvant so my cancer was removed by surgery. I think with me I focussed on one aspect at a time. First the surgery. Then the chemo and then the radiotherapy. Chemo also made me feel really unwell and I had a few issues with it. I found that many people, well meaningly told me that if I could get through chemo -I would get through the radiotherapy and it would be easy compared to it etc etc.
I found radiotherapy totally different. It was just a different experience and I felt like I didn't really get much time to process all that had happened previously. It was like- straight to the next treatment. It is understandable to feel panicky about a new treatment and worry about what will happen and side effects etc. I got myself into a bit of a tizz with mine.
The radiotherapists were lovely though and did everything they could to make the experience as bearable as possible. I found I also kept seeing the same people each day so it did help to pass the time. Have you a CNS you can share how you are feeling with? I did find speaking to the radiotherapists helpful, they have seen it all and done it all before and they do understand. I honestly found the first session was the one I panicked at most but after I knew exactly what would happen it felt easier. If you are nervous while the actual treatment is happening you can ask them to talk to you through the speaker in the room. They can see you at all times but I found that if they chatted while it was happening I felt a lot better.
Good luck
Jane
