Accepting and Facing the real world

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Hello all

I have had breast cancer and now on chemotherapy 4 done. 4 more to go. Have lost all of my hair, which is my biggest struggle. Have lost confidence, urge to be normal all of that too, but am hoping when the chemo ends i will slowly try and regain those. 

However, the hair loss is a huge blow for me. as in reality it will take good couple of years atleast (hopefully) to get somewhere close to my pre-cancer hair.

i feel very upset most times, miss combing, miss using shampoo , hair dryers... hair clips etc... 

I see that many people, across forums, nurses, councellors .. everybodys approach is, accept it , it will grow back, use scarfs or wigs etc, While i appreciate these are practical suggestions. I am actually looking for courage how did you go out the first time after complete hair loss? how did you cope with it day in and day out till it started growing back ? 

I am actually looking for a magic wand where I can accept myself - not sure where to find it... i need something that i need on a day to day basis... for a long time(untill regrowth)

i am physically and mentally drained too due to the chemo side effects, the boredom, the insomnia, and constant fatigue.. 

sorry if i sound silly .... but anything to help me cope, manage and handle the situiation will be really useful. 

best regards and take care all 

  • Hi  

    It doesn't sound silly at all that you're upset because you've lost your hair. As you'll see from my profile image, I had very long hair before I started chemotherapy and that all went after about the first 4 weeks.

    Before I started chemo I went to a local hairdresser who was on a list of hairdressers which my hospital had arranged that a voucher off a wig purchase could be used. I got her to cut it into a much shorter style so I had got used to shorter hair before chemo started. I also took the opportunity to try on lots of different wigs in different styles and choose one that was similar to how I had my hair cut.

    When I was attending hospital I wore head scarves which I had bought from a company on line called They have lots of lovely styles to choose from and arrived within a couple of days of ordering. I didn't bother to cover my head at home but if someone came to the door, or I went out, then I popped a head scarf on. If I was going out to see friends, etc. then I wore my wig as that made me feel more 'normal'.

    My hair started to grow back before I had finished my chemo and I'm now sporting a rather stylish pixie look. I've rather surprised myself that I like this really short new look and everyone says it suits me. I had intended to grow it back to at least shoulder length but have decided to keep the new look. You might be pleasantly surprised too.

    I was very lucky that apart from the hair loss I didn't really suffer from any other side effects of the chemo or radiotherapy. I did try and stick to my normal daily routine of going out for a walk each day, although if I didn't feel like it I didn't push myself. Are you managing any exercise as I understand, daft as it might seem, if you can exercise it will help with the fatigue.

    Sending virtual (((hugs)))

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Thank you for your reply. I am hoping to try the same with bandanas. Have not gone out yet other than hospital visits. 

    feeling very weak this chemo cycle. otherwise atleast would go for a walk. Hoping will start feeling better in a couple of days. Thank you so much, means a lot. Hopefully i will embrace my new look too soon, 

    Take care and Best wishes.