Newly diagnosed

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Hi,

I am 47 years old and was diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday, they have taken  more biopsies of another section of breast and think a mastectomy is the way forward, will have results of that next Thursday. I'm a bit shocked really and trying to juggle emotions. My husband is being really supportive but I dont want to burden him with my fears too much. I have told my 23 year old son but not yet my 9 year old son. Feeling a bit scared and tearful. Any helpful advice on how to get through this stage would be great.

Thanks

  • Do allow yourself to process this information. It comes as a shock and we all react differently. But there’s no right or wrong way to feel. It might help to write down your thoughts and questions. Even if it’s just for you to offload. But having questions to ask when you go for your appointment is useful so you don’t forget anything. I’m sure your husband would want to know your fears. Mine was a huge support to me and I couldn’t have got through it without him. Wishing you peace x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thank you Galanthophile. 

  • Hi Arty I'm in a very similar situation to you.  Found out a few days ago, waiting for some more results and the MRI result tomorrow so I can hopefully find out what my plan is.  

    Apparently when you get your plan things get much better.  I hope so because like you I'm in shock and a bit tearful too.  I find talking to others helps.  I told my husband yesterday but not my sons who are early 20's I can't bear to tell them.  How did your son take it?

    Apparently breast cancer is very treatable so I am optimistic.

    Message me any time you want to chat.

    Wishing you all the best.

  • Hi Arty

    I got my diagnosis on the 4th December and today I finally find out some facts. Nothing has moved fast, Christmas, Covid, etc I feel angry. Really angry. No info. No communication.

    But when I found out I cried a lot, cried like I felt I couldn't stop. It does get easier. The tears dry but you need to let yourself grieve and feel. Be strong when you can and don't beat yourself up when you can't. Talk when you want to the point when you want, it does help.

    All of us now, being diagnosed and treated in a covid era are writing a new chapter, which feels more isolating and daunting than it should. But strength and support in numbers! 

    Keep fighting

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to NorthernFury

    Hi Arty,

    I am 47 too. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in July after finding a lump that I assumed was a cyst.

    Like others have said I found it easier to deal with when I had all the information and an action plan. 
    Everyone is different but when I knew what to expect I could process things more easily. 
    I did feel guilty leaning on loved ones too much but they tell me they would feel worse if I didn’t 
    Take care of yourself and lean on loved ones, and use these forums for support.

    If you have any questions about treatments etc. reach out.

    A

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to NorthernFury

    Thank you, you are so right about letting yourself react to what we are experiencing at this time. I had my mastectomy yesterday and today was still devastated when I saw it for the first time. I am sure it will be something I see with strength on my journey but found the need to cry and grieve for the loss of the old me today. I am grateful to getting surgery quickly and hope you have news on your dates or treatment soon too. It is so helpful to have other people who are going through the same diagnosis to talk to. Provided me with such strength. 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Thank you, it’s not always easy to lean on loved ones. I am struggling to share as much info as I should with my husband, he is supportive and wants to be. But I find myself exhausted having to repeat all info back after appointments etc and the covid situation has made it hard work to work together and use his support, I need to work on that. Having the forums is helping to keep me strong and I am grateful to everyone for sharing and supporting on here. 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    • Hi i have been diagnosed on 30th December have to wait till Thursday to see what grade it is have 2 older children 28 and 29 they know but i have a 12 year old girl wjo does not know. My mind is all over the place i am 46. 
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    I only told a small selection of people and definitely found telling my 23 year old daughter the hardest, I am 46 and find I keep alot of my feelings bottled up and when you think of questions you want to ask that you have to wait for ages before you can ask them, so finding somewhere like this I am hoping will be beneficial just to get your worries and fears out there instead of dwelling on them. Did you find your children dealt with it OK? Do they want to talk about it and discuss what's going on or like mine not want to discuss the ins and outs of treatment?