Newly diagnosed and petrified

hi

welcome to the online community, sorry you've had to come and find us.

I'm sorry to hear about your mum, 59 is very young, my mother died a few days after her 60th birthday back in 1996, she'd had leukaemia for a few years but then had lung problems too.

I'm 57 now and it still hangs over me a bit, my dad died at 61, so it does sort of feel like it's inevitable some times but then I think to my uncles and aunts who lived, and one or two still living, into their 80s. 

It certainly came as a shock when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015, especially as I'd had a 'clear' mammogram in 2012, which actually turned out not to be clear at all. 

You are in shock at the moment and that can last a while, the grieving process sort of follows a pattern, shock, disbelief, denial then anger, I was pretty angry for a while. There's a blaming /bargaining phase, I say phase, it's not necessarily all boxed neatly, more of a big jumble sale of emotions. I was sad for quite a while and couldn't seem to shake it. My boobs were my best bit. My legs aren't great. Face is rather ordinary. Shoulders massive. So yes it wasn't easy finding out they wanted me to agree to having one lopped off. 

They couldn't do a lumpectomy because between 2012 and 2015 the area had grown to 65mm and it wasn't a lump shape, I probably could've spotted it myself if it had been, more a sort of credit card shape. I had an implant reconstruction and it looks alright under clothes but it's not the same. I also had to have chemo because I had Her2+ cancer. That was a struggle but I got through it. 

They've changed the whole web site around a couple of weeks ago but I had a go at collecting success stories from people on here who'd survived and managed to put it all behind them, to prove it was possible. 

If the link doesn't appear under my signature let me know and I'll dig it out. 

Try not to panic, try and keep a bit busy, how old are the kids? You have done the right thing, getting checked and getting the wheels in motion. Patience is a virtue, repeat x 100. 

big hugs

Carolyn

xxx

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. 

I'm sorry you had to go through that,it must of been frightening. Losing parents is tough. Sending you a hug xx

My children are 22, 19 and 12. 

How are you doing now? You are very brave and should be proud of yourself. 

Have you watched Heal on Netflix x

The link you mention didn't appear xx

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/breast-cancer/f/breast-cancer-forum/115457/success-stories---real-life-accounts-of-women-who-have-survived-breast-cancer-and-managed-to-put-it-behind-them

hi Samantha, that's the link

I just watched the Heal trailer on YouTube, it's very interesting.

I went to a seminar a couple of years ago that was looking into how medicine had evolved over the years, from plant based to pills and back again. I'm also a great believer in natural remedies even including opium as being better tolerated and more effective than the synthetic versions. Fair trade cocaine would be a lot better for everyone concerned. Legalise it all and tax it. 

I do think we can help heal ourselves but sadly it won't always work, Steve Jobs had a very treatable cancer, apparently, yet chose to attempt alternative therapies. We do need people who are willing to trial things but I found I wasn't even able to participate in a pain relief trial, I just suddenly realised I couldn't do it. 

Even messing with tried and trusted chemo regimes is fraught for those agreeing to potentially be given a less effective treatment but without the trials we'd have continued to over treat or over dose.

And I do see that people get on a GP treadmill with repeat prescriptions, the doctors were really quite surprised I was on no other medication at 52 but I actually don't think I'd have survived without medical intervention. Their attitude was good in that I was being told I was young, fit and healthy and in good shape and they'd fix the cancer and I'd be fine.

The cancer industry is so powerful we all hear the c word and think we're going to die and fund raising gets more cash if they scare the pants off you. 

I do think that eating fresh raw foods and getting vital micro nutrients is important for our health, and food made with love is more nutritious than something in a box shoved in the microwave. 

What have you told the kids? I was 'lucky' in a way because I was initially told I 'only' had DCIS and that was nothing to worry about, so I told my kids it was nothing to worry about, and on the whole they didn't. They were 28, boy, 26, boy, 21 girl, and 14 boy, at the time. My daughter was tasked with 'looking after me' which was tough on her but the boys were busy and reluctant. We had a little joke, I'd cough, she'd look at me and say 'are you dying' and I'd say 'not yet' and we'd laugh.

Angelina Jolie had just gone public too, so they were aware of it from that perspective which made it a lot easier. 

Waiting around it tough but stats are good, something like 98% of early stage breast cancers are completely cured.

have a read of some of the stories

I was given an NHS loyalty card to get free prescriptions, it was valid for 5 years, which felt like an eternity, it expired in May.

Carolyn

xxx

Hi I went to the clinic on Monday told abnormal cells in lump which is solid don't know if this makes a difference to be honest had an enlarged lymph node which biopsy showed as reactive not cancerous but not told type or size?? ️I have 3 bus age 20,17,16 and a 4 year old daughter I have told my boys but focused on the line the nurse wrote on the notes she took for me which said it is very treatable when telling them ... But I'm concerned that they want me to have a CT scan and bone scan not sure if they suspect it has spread or just a precaution because of the lymph node??

I have to be honest the Monday night I turned to Google when I couldn't sleep not a good idea so instead the next day with a slightly clearer head I joined this site and read success stories I also have a friend who has went through this successfully I haven't cried much just with the breast nurse and on Monday night after the google mistake instead I feel like I have to reassure everyone else.  So waiting on the emotions to catch up I think maybe next week at the results clinic when they will discuss type stage and treatment options I'm not sure if this is a normal reaction or if I should be feeling more?? 

Hi

I'm not sure there is any normal reaction, we all feel and deal with things differently. 

I hope you get good news and recover soon. 

Thank you for your time and we all must stay off Google.

Best of luck and hugs xx

HI Samantha, i have also just been diagnosed on the 19th of this month with Lobuar BC im only 33 and also a mum of 2 children, i was very shocked even though i went into the appointment expecting the worst, they have told me i will need a mastectomy which they have booked in for a weeks time, just waiting on more results for my other breast as they have found something in that one too. Its the waiting which is the hard part im booked in for a bone and CT next friday..i have also been told i need to isolate 2 weeks prior and 4 weeks afterwards, not sure how this will work yet with the kids due to go back to work. 

My biggest question was why me? its so frustrating isn't it

Im sure we can both get through this and try to remain positive.

sending lots of love xx

I've had my op and am sore but doing OK. More waiting now for results. 

How are you x