I was diagnosed 6 weeks ago and feel like I am on a roller coaster ride that will not stop

Hi there

i am a mother of 3 young children and my youngest has a rare genetic disorder and deaf. What you are saying is completely natural to feel! I was diagnosed in March 2018 and it was 6 months of complete madness but I promise you it will calm down. You definitely won’t have damaged her. 

During my treatment I just tried to find normal days and if I had an appointment they got a treat. I feared leaving them too, so much so I bought them a build a bear just so they could hear my voice. Try to reassure your daughter and tell her that everything you are doing is to make you get better! 

In terms of you, as it is so fast paced I totally felt the same too. Try to look at small steps rather than the whole big picture and take one step forward at a time. Before you know it you will be on the other side and your oncologist will be saying see you in 6 months! 

Venting here is good too or with people who you can lean of for support, it helps regain strength! Give yourself mini rewards too. We would always go away for a night or so once I was through the next round.

good luck, you are doing amazing! 

Xx

Thank you Hudders84 it really helps knowing that others understand how I feel as it’s a lonely journey at first . This experience has made me more humble in life and I would hope that no one should experience this but we sadly do.

thank you for listening to me moaning about my story xxxx

You are never moaning!!! It’s a unique group to be a part of and we all lean on each other for support xxx

Hi Netty113,

I’m very sorry you find yourself here, however you are certainly not alone.

As someone who is considered ‘out the other side now’, I still feel a bit like get me off this ride! Some days aren’t as good as others.

I had a mastectomy last October, then node clearance 3 weeks later, I’ve had 4 months of chemo, then radiotherapy and now on anti hormone tablets.

You are doing the best you can, and right to take it a step at a time, I did it day by day. You do swing through all the emotions so we totally understand what you going through. 

As for your little girl, you will not have done her any lasting harm, kids are very resilient, you can tell her more at a later date. Just carrying on reassuring her, i’m sure she will be ok.

Let us know how you are getting on x

Hi Beachwalker 19,

thank you for your support, I find it really helps me now as you all understand how it feels.

I spoke with one of my breast care nurses today and I am going to meet my oncologist doctor on the 3rd October but due to my complications of a hematoma and infection after my first surgery they will probably wait for me to be healed a bit as I was operated on again 2 and half weeks ago  She has confirmed that radiotherapy and hormone therapy are definite in my treatment plan but they are going to do a dx onco test on my tumour to determine if I need chemo and the results take time. 

It’s a waiting game now for my body to heal etc. 

Love and light 

netty xx

Netty113,

No problem, that is why we are here, we are in this together.

Yes I was told radiotherapy can cause some quite unpleasant SE’s with the skin, I sailed through radiotherapy, not one SE, nothing, other than I abit of a stiff arm on treated side with it being in an uncomfortable position during treatment so I consider myself very lucky.

It is definitely better to be healed first.

I’m on the Optima Trial, which is a randomised trial, you randomly get picked firstly for Chemo or for your tumour to be tested, the ppl who are randomised for chemo obviously get it, then with the testing ppl who have a low score won’t have chemo, but the ppl with a higher score also get chemo. It’s a blind trial so I don’t know my tumour score. I could have a higher score or I could have been randomised into the chemo group. Not even my oncologist knows.

I hope you get your results quickly and don’t have to have Chemo, however we will be here for you no matter what.

Tina x x

Thank you Tina. 

Me too. I am a bit nervous about the upcoming treatment but I have to keep reminding myself of how brave I have been so far with both operations and everything else prior to ops. Once I know what’s happening I can start to put my head into that zone and get through it one day at a time as I know feel in limbo a bit now waiting on recovery.  I am also waiting till I can drive so I get a bit of freedom again and not just attempt to walk to places as I get tired and told that I am over doing it.  I still concerned about my seatbelt so as a passenger I tend to put a pillow under my arm and around my breast for padding and comfort so whilst I’m feeling like this I don’t want to drive or attempt a emergency stop to check if I am fit enough to drive. Did anyone else feel like this and how long after surgery did anyone drive? 

Netty x