Just need friends

So sorry that you are feeling this way. Do you think you should talk to a Macmillan counsellor or your Breast Care nurse? Or just write them all down and tell me. I'm living with secondary breast cancer and some days paint on the smile when I'd rather be in bed under the duvet. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling but I'll give it a go.

We’re listening....we all have very different family situations and different ways of coping with all of those family members....

Chose the best way for you and your family...challenging I know....Everyone is different and, one thing I have learnt, is that there isn’t a one way that suits all....deep breath....do what you can....and with a fair wind it will be all okay

Hi

I've found that as I'm the 'strong' one, people expect me to support them through my diagnosis! I'm also afraid of talking to my family about my fears etc because they can't cope with the possibility that this might end badly. So the smile goes on and everybody is happy.

When I had BC for the first time, I saw a psychologist through the oncology department and she was brilliant. Totally changed my outlook on life. Perhaps your nurse can sort something for you?

Keep in touch xx

We're all friends here always someone around to listen. The friendships are different to others because the people you talk to "get you" and totally understand where you're coming from.

I think we all try to be strong for everyone else, i am also a single parent have been for 15 years but luckily my children are 21 and 25 now, but i still worry about how they're coping. 

Come and talk to us, tell us how you're feeling and we can try to help, even if it means you babbling on, we all babble but its good to get it out. 

Big Squeeze for you xx 

Thank you so much to you all for your replies. It felt like there wasn’t anywhere I could turn to till I came on her & I’m so grateful for your support. I have contacted Macmillian & they will be sorting a councillor for me. I do think I needed to talk to someone for a long time when my sister died but work & family came in the way & suddenly your own feelings don’t matter because you just focus on making sure everyone else is ok. 

I think it’s not only the cancer that’s just put the spanner in the works I think losing someone who I myself supported through 2 different operations (not cancer related) very early on in the relationship but when it was my turn they disappeared. I don’t know if I’m disappointed at myself for trusting such a person or what. I feel confused & angry because now she is wanting to be my ‘Friend’ but when I was going through one appointment to another, one test to another she was no where to be seen. I hate myself for still wanting to have this person in my life when deep down I know this person does not deserve me  

I’m sorry if I’m going on a bit it’s such a complicated situation to be in especially when I should be focusing on my health  

thank you to you all for taking the time to respond  I can’t tell you how much it has meant to me  xxx

Hi , 

You are definitely in the right place. 

I think because we always tend to put other ppl first when it comes to taking care of ourselves we don’t know how!

You definitely did the right thing contacting Macmillan. You have to keep telling yourself that you matter too.

I’m finally learning this myself. My hubby worked away the last 6 yrs, so while I’m not a single parent it felt like it.

Time had come for us to think about ourselves too. 

Someone is always here to chat too,

Gentle hugs x x

As I am sure others here will testify...friends can suddenly vanish from your life! And others, often those you don’t know very well, step up and are there for you. 

Delighted you have contacted Macmillan - I am sure you will get good advice and a supportive virtual hug!

Good Luck and keep posting.....

Thank to everyone for your lovely kind words. I think with the cancer emotions are all over the place. Nothing seems to make sense & every little thing appears a lot worse that it is. Hopefully over time it will get better & I appreciate everyone’s support from the bottom of my heart xxx