Single & Life with Cancer

Someone left me because I had cancer.  It is tough, but you get through it, you learn to look after you.  I have a great circle of friends so that got me through it.

Hi there I am single although I have 2 kids. The night times are tough! I try and meditate with the Head space app or come on here to read posts. It can be lonely at times x

Hi Rexsi78,

i wasn't single at the time but it broke my relationship and now I am alone. In a way I wish I had been as I wouldn’t now suffer with the additional view that he may have left me because I look different, am different etc. It probably wasn’t that but my body dysmorphia since having surgery makes me feel like it is. 

You can drive your own destiny on your own; laugh when you want, cry when you want, wallow in self pity when you want (although i don’t recommend this too often as it can be destructive in itself) and you can also fight this head on. 

Rely on your loved ones, family, friends etc. We don’t need a partner to complete us. I also use the Headspace meditation app, read a lot and take long walks in the fresh air. Sounds like simple stuff but it works. 

Oh, and I also add prosecco to the list, always makes me see the positive side ;) 

xx

Hi there, I was diagnosed last year and went through surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I’m still in treatment with herceptin. I was single the whole time and I still am. I’m actually glad I was, it’s easier to be selfish and have your needs as a priority at a time when you frequently need to. It meant not having to emotionally support a partner and only having myself to look after, so I didn’t have any feelings of guilt. I did have friends and family, my Mum was amazing so I wasn’t alone or lonely.

Best of luck for your treatment x

I've been single for the last 10 years and love my own company. My son still lives with me he is 21 so i'm not totally on my own and he does give me lovely hugs when i'm feeling rubbish. 

My problem was that because i was use to my own space that when all of a sudden everyone wanted to visit me i hated it. It's hard to tell people you don't want a visit because you want to be on your own because they automatically thought you would fall into a depression.

I also found when i felt poopy i could just lay on the settee and feel poopy. I could do what i wanted when i wanted. My daughter took me for all my chemotherapies, my mum to all my operations and my son to appointments, so although i am single i still had plenty of people around me.

Now i think life is too short to worry about a fella, i have great friends who make me laugh, and i get to have a kingsize bed to myself which is good when the night sweats start lol

Hi  

I have no family at this stage as elderly parents passed ( 2012, 2016), no children, no bros and sis, mum was adopted and dad lost touch with his only brother years ago.

However, my ex has been a rock ( cliche expression I know). He also has health issues, so understands what it is like to be so fatigued at times. He does not live in same city as I do, so travels a lot to go with me to Oncologist meetings etc. 

It is hard to socialise, when you are on long term chemotherapy as I am.

However, now I’m on blood thinner tablets instead of daily stomach injections ( 6 months), I’m hoping to join yoga classes etc. I took retirement on ill health grounds in Jan 2019. 

Judith xx

I know exactly how it feels & it’s not easy. As soon as I was diagnosed, the one person I thought would be by my side for the rest of my life disappeared within a week & returned 3 months later wanting to be my friend. I have found it very difficult each day on top of going through this terrible journey I seem to be constantly mourning the loss of this person. 

I’m sorry I am not much help I am actually looking for some support myself & didn’t know where else to turn to besides this site. I hope our journeys get easier & we come out on the other side stronger. 

Hello can i first welcome you to our community, none of us want to be here but considering whats what its the best place to be.

Sorry to hear you're having such a poopy time, on top of your diagnosis but you can do this and you will. Because you have all of us now to help you through. You might feel you are not much help but believe me you are, You will soon find friends, and you will give out advice and support to others and it feels brill. We will support you with anything, so if your feeling sad, wanting to scream and shout come and talk to us. 

No question is a silly question, believe me i've asked loads lol, people will give you lots of advice and sometimes we even have a giggle.

Have a look around,we are a bit quite in this group,so you might not always get as quick a response as if you post in the Breast Cancer Group. There are also groups in there like Awake so if you find yourself struggling to sleep or need a natter trough the night go have a look in there.

Keep talking to us, we're all in this together xx