Ten years on

Hi  

Don't feel silly the fear is always there. Has it hit you all of a sudden or has it been coming for a while? 

Thank you for your reply and your very thought provoking question...

I would say it's justified. I don't want to be the voice of doom and gloom but I had BC at 32. At 42 I felt "safe". At 47 I was diagnosed with secondaries so it's not silly at all. I hate being the one to scaremonger but now I always tell people "never relax and never become complacent." Sorry if it's not what you want to hear. 

I’d say completely justified.

I never thought much about cancer, classic case of shock when I was diagnosed. However, after mastectomy, reconstruction and 5 out of 6 chemo sessions done, I’m going to think positive, I would drive myself insane if I was thinking about it coming back. It’s one hurdle at a time for me. I’m going to live my life the best I can and love and hug my family even more than before.

I won’t ever get complacent and will worry when I’m called for tests and I’m sure all the original feelings will come crashing back, however I’m not going to think about it till I have too.

Hi Mrs P, 

sorry to hear that you’re feeling like this and you’re definitely not being irrational. The fear is always there whether you’re diagnosed again or not. I always describe it as the fear of being run over by a bus, but we’ve already been run over by that bus and survived once so we always worry that next time we might not be so lucky. 

I try not to freak myself out but it’s always just there at the back of my head. I’m 8 years in remission now and have. been looking at moles on my body recently worrying if they’re changing shape/ colour/ getting bigger etc and then telling myself off for being irrational. 

I hope you find a way of coping without making yourself mentally ill with the worry and don’t forget you have us lot to talk to. Xxx