My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Thanks for the support my dear friends. How lovely you all are x x

Dot, the slight holding of hands perhaps needs to last a little longer at times for you in times of extreme stress at least.

Brenda, I am glad to hear you are allowing yourself to ask for or accept help.

Banoffi pie and coffee sounds good Rosemary, I'll be right over.

Well today I have been to my daughter's home for dinner. She served homemade spinach and ricotta chesse caneloni with freshly made sundried tomato foccacia bread and a lovely side salad. This was followed by home made raspberry yoghurt ice cream and white cholate icecream with a mint leaf garnish. yum yum yum. Then we watched a film called 'Ghost Town'. We both had a pleasant evening. Now I am home alone and working hard not to feel too sad. I have a votive candle lit for all our family members and those of our friends who have died.  Tomorrow my eldest son will run the London Marathon so I am hoping he will be able to enjoy it this year and not remember the sadness he was carrying two years ago when he ran it. 

I am wishing you all a happy Sunday. Smile if you can, cry if you must. Alkways here with love, hugs and support.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Patricia - your dinner sounds lovely....I really appreciate someone cooking for me,  I seem to spend such a long time in the kitchen.....But our dinner last night was quite quick and easy.....fresh baked salmon, hot new potato salad and a green salad..........followed by Eton Mess........(Invites were sent out but I fear the pigeons may need new compasses to find you all!!)

Enjoy the sunshine today

Love and (((hugs)))

Dot xxxxxxxxxxx

Morning everyone.  I hope as many of you as possible are lucky enough to have the lovely sunshine I have this morning.  I am detrmined to get something useful done today because I feel like I have been completely at odds with myself for the past 2 weeks and it doesn't make me feel any better.  April holds too many memories for me but there is so much to do in April so I have high hopes for what I can achieve today.  I am going to spend the day working on the garden.  A water feature I put in last year next to Chris's bench has been damaged by the frost so I am going to put on my best DIY hat and see if I can fix it. 

Patricia I am glad you had a lovely day with your daughter today - she sounds to be a lovely cook.  Best of luck to your son for the marathon today although I am sure he won't need it.  Big, big ((((hugs)))) to you for last week.  I am so sorry you were upset by a disagreement with a patient but I have such admiration for you doing what you do after all we have been through.  Please don't dwell on it and keep close to the centre of the huddle - if you are crazy so are we all!!

Rosemary I love your choice of song - I am a huge Slade fan.  Banoffee pie & bailey's - probably a bit too early for me to eat that just yet today but maybe later.  I loved reading your account of the wedding last Saturday.  I had been feeling like I was there with you all day - so glad it all went so well xxx

Pam I hope you have had a lovely week with your daughter.  Manchester last weekend was a real tonic.  I put some nice photos on FB with us all on.

Janet (Janken2) looking after the garden must be very hard for you as Ken was such an accomplished gardener.  Probably similar feelings I have when I have to do any kind of DIY.  Chris didn't win prizes for working on the house with anyone but me & the children but it was his pride & joy and I feel such a sense of responsibility to keep up to it and try hard to think how Chris would have tackled jobs.  Thinking about it now though, I smile a little more when I am doing DIY as I have had a few successes and I am sure Chris would be proud of my efforts & what he taught me.  It is still such early days for you but I am sure Ken will be very proud of your efforts and everything you learned from him in 39 years.  I still get scared & sad and this month seems especially hard for me right now but I take comfort from the fact that I am sure it isn't as bad as last April was.

I spent yesterday looking at cars as that is another thing I have to do this summer - change my car/van.  The van passed it's MOT this week which is a big help.  I also met my daughters boyfriends little boys yesterday.  They seem lovely little boys and it is so funny watching Becky - she is loving having them all to stay but I don't think she can get over how much harder work 3 little boys are than just her one.  Declan is just a year or so older than than Hamish's eldest and they seemed to be good friends which will be a big help in the master plan I am sure.  My youngest daughter, who was made suddenly redundant 2 weeks ago when the place she worked went into liquidation, has started a new job, 2 weeks to the day.  She is due round here this evening so I hope to hear she has enjoyed her first 2 days.  Stu also heard he had has been accepted into the job he went for.  He doesn't have a start date yet - he works for the police and it is an internal move - but should be in the next 2 months or so.  The horrible thing I was volunteered for at work went ahead on Friday so that is past as well - I had to do a bit of catwalk modelling which is very scary and than facilitate a workshop.  With my confidence at an all time low I have been really worried about it but it is done now so I can breath a bit again now.  I am on holiday for 11 days from Thursday so surely the rest of April will be better now.  I want to be able to concentrate on coping with the 2nd anniversary in a couple of weeks so I am going to keep myself busy decorating the staircase whle I am off.

Well this isn't getting all my jobs done today is it?  Sue, Dot, Kay, Becky, Sheena & everyone else - I hope you are all having a good weekend.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

I always realise I have missed something when I read my post back - Bren, how is your weather over in Canada.  I hope you are keeping okay over there.  Take care.  Ailsa xxx

Well my son completed his Marathon in 3 hours 26 minutes and 52 seconds. Wow, I would still be running (walking). He is now trying to identify another marathonb to do. Is he mad??? Gosh where does he get his energy from I wonder.

Ailsa, thinking of you over the next few weeks. I know how difficult they are going to be for you. You know where I am if you need a listening ear or a comforting shoulder.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia

Ailsa I will be thinking of you also and hoping the rest of April passes quickly for you.  The build up is as we all know usually much worse than the day.  Our weather here is just horrible!  Snow and cold all weekend, it has been rainy and wet most of the last week.  This is not spring weather!  It makes me wonder what the weekend will bring as I will be in Newfoundland which is usually colder than here!  Just hoping for some sunshine.

Hope you all have a good week.

I hope your weather improves Bren so you can have a nice time in Newfoundland.  Ailsa xxx

Bren, I hope the weather improves for you. Have a good trip.

Ailsa, sending hugs to you. I hope you are feeling a little better today.

I have just heard that my nephew has earned his sargent stripes in the London Met. He is such a hard worker.  I am a very proud auntie.  Today I have been to an exercise class my daughter. I had better be very careful... I am in danger of getting a little fitter. lol.  I have also done something which I have not done for over two years. I sat outside my back door in the sunshine. Trouble is I now see that the house is looking very neglected. I guess I should make an effort to get it sorted out. Mmm.... now where is that bank card........

I hope all penguins have the best day they can tomorrow.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

I told you the sunshine shows up the mucky windows!!!!!  But why do you need your bank card when cleaning - unless it's to scrape said windows??

Puzzled Dot xxxx

PS - only joking - please don't take offence xxxxxxxx

Evening all

Hope you're all enjoying the sunny weather..... according to our weatherman we should have a lovely Easter weekend...... More time out in the garden!!  Which is where we've been today.  Alan was trying to do too much as usual - but at least he did admit to needing to sit down for a while - so we had several breaks and lovely cups of tea........The garden was badly neglected last year so there's a lot to do this time....... But we have time.............

Bren - I hope that you have some warm Spring weather soon - all that snow.......bbbrrrrrrrrrr.........

Take care of yourselves and have as good a holiday weekend as you can

Love and ((((((hugs)))))))

Dot xxxxxxxxxx