My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Evening girls

Just wanted to send you all (((hugs))) and suggest a huge (((((group hug))))) to comfort everyone...........

Love and more ((((hugs))))) for you all

Dot xxxxxxxxxxx

Morning everyone.  I'm getting in on the group hug.  I got on my laptop before bed last night but was so tired I couldn't post.  Made up my mind to do it this morning beforewe got started as I just know I will be tootired again later.  We did okay yesterday - picked up the key, collected the big van and drove it down and got it about half full before it got too dark to carry on.  Need to get the other half filed and then mow the grass and drive back to Yorkshire - look like being too tired to make sense again tonight then don't I?

Patricia I'm sorry to hear you need the medication but hopefully you will feel the benefits of taking it so get used to it quickly.  I agree with Lynne - we all need to slow down a bit and then we can have our meet in Meadowhell.  It is looking like I will need to do one more trip with my van before Becky is finished.  That was a bit of a blow when I realised it yesterday but I have my head round it today and it will all be over soon.  I managed to get the garage to a point where I can get the plumber back to let him finish what he needs to do so it is still moving forwards even with Becky's move slowing everything down.  Lynne it is a shame your Dad has another infection - I hope he gets better from it very soon.  Have a lovely time in York this weekend.

Patricia well done doing your charity walk.  I managed FB before falling asleep last night so saw on there that you had done it.  Lots of ((((((hugs)))))) for Ray's birthday today.  Take care of yourself.

Well done with the sitting room Bren.  It's odd how doing one thing leads to us needing to do another.  That is another reason why I want to stop doing house things for a bit - it just leads to more work.

Fiona I hope you had a great time at the Elvis tribut last night.

Lynda hows the clothes shopping for China coming on?  Dot I hope your builder got the shower sorted out.  I will be pleased once the plumber has been & gone again as I am fed up of it now.  You've had loads more of it than me.

Helen I hope you are having a good time in Manchester with G.  Sounds like a perfect weekend to me now it includes shopping!

I am really looking forward to next weekend and our little gathering.  Thanks for getting the restaurant sorted Gayle.  I hope you are doing okay today.  The photo you put on FB was lovely.  This whole moving thing is very, very hard.  You are doing brilliantly and it will be over soon.  Keep your chin up.  Obviously I don't have the same emotion as you for Becky's move but I dreamed about Chris last night.  He wasn't in the dream which was very frustrating as I am sure he avoids my dreams on purpose!!  He was the topic of the dream - I was talking about him with someone (don't know who) and it seemed like he was still alive.  The dream didn't last long but I know how much he wanted Becky & Declan to move back to Yorkshire.  I think it was that and because I was so tired that I had the dream.  He would have been mad I was so tired and would have found a way to make this easier.  But that can't be so just like Helen says - I will keep swimming and get on with it.  I feel better this morning after a good sleep so - onwards & upwards.

I had a lovely few hours out on Friday evening with both my daughters and work.  It is the first time I have been out with work and both girls.  When Becky lived here before Toni was still too young.  I was very proud to take them both out and show them off to colleagues. 

Well this move won't wait.  Hope you all have a decent Sunday.  Take care all of you.  Ailsa xxx

Hi Patricia,

How did the walk go? I hope you can manage today - Ray's birthday. And, why not feel sorry for ouselves from time to time. When my knee got worse in June and decided to give up running, I made a big thing out of it and told everyone that I "retired from running", as if I was a professional athlete!

Lots of hugs,

Naoko x x x

Hi Patricia been thinking about you all day I hope you managed to get through Ray's birthday better than I did Bert's. Hope you are coping with you move Gayle , Ailsa are you almost finished with Becky's. I am so glad I don't have to move bad enough decorating . I was going to try and finish my decorating but done my mums windows and my shoulder is really painful today so I guess I better not paint just yet. 

Love to all penguins and hugs to all who need them

Teri x      

Hi everyone.  We all seem to be too busy to post right now but I think because we know we have our meet at the weekend we can save all our chatter for then.  Patricia I hope you are okay and that Sunday wasn't too traumatic for you.  Teri I remember how you struggled with Bert's birthday.  I hope your shoulder isn't too painful.  It won't be too much longer before it begins to improve.  I've had two frozen shoulders so I remember how much they hurt but I can also say they do eventually get better.

Becky has started to move things into her new house.  She is away with work again for a couple of days which is frustrating for us both but we have come this far so we will be alright for another couple of weeks.  It sounds as though Gayle has had the most annoying day ever.  So sorry Gayle.  I can only begin to imagine how annoyed you are.

I can't wait for the weekend.  I haven't had any peace and quiet in my life for a while and sometimes Chris seems so far away.  When we all get together he doesn't seem anywhere near so far away so bring on Friday - can't come soon enough.  For everyone who isn't going - we will have the group hug with you all mentioned while we are there.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Hi everyone

I will be there in spirit on the weekend too.  Wish I could be there in person, maybe next year.  Today is right in between yesterday which was 11 months and tomorrow is 1 year that Danny left the house and never came home.  I dropped him at the hospital in the morning to get a biopsy and went to work, expecting to get a call later on to pick him up.  They did call but said his blood pressure was too low to do the biopsy and they were keeping him in, he never left the hospital.  So I am in my hole again this week, just really missing him.  I did get out with a friend on the weekend for a manicure and pedicure and that was a good day and a good lift for my mood but now I am alone again and lonely so I am jumping into the middle of the pack. 

Sending hugs to all who need them. 

Snuggle in Bren and hold on tight!  Glad you can do nice things with friends, but it's still hard when the memories catch up with you isn't it?  Would be good if you could join us this weekend (it's my first get together with them so I'll let you know how scary they are lol) and it would be great if you could get over here next year, what a meet up that would be! 

Had a lovely chat with Ailsa last night and all set for getting up to London, what happens when we get there is anyones guess - but Gayle has organised everything so well it will be a breeze.  Talking of whom, how is your move going today Gayle?  Hopefully they have shifted the squatter and you are on the move - big hugs baby penguin xxxxx See you Saturday xxxxx

Got plumber doing the radiators today, at last.  A lovely man and the boys like him so that is good - more to the point he likes them so that makes him an acceptable human being in my book.  Trouble is I don't feel I can get anything done when there's someone working in the house, especially as he's doing 4 rads downstairs and one in the en-suite so is all over the place draining things etc.  At least it will be all sorted and up and running for the winter and I think I have found a nice, reliable chap for the future (only for the plumbing!)

Have made a chicken and bacon pie for tonights dinner and then going to see Tony Stockwell with my sis and Samantha, will report back tomorrow on that one.  I was going to see Colin Fry some time back but never got the bookings sorted, but have seen Tony on tv and with Colin once before and I like his style so fingers crossed he's on my wave length! 

Hope you are all ok and ticking along well, had a text from our Judi and she is doing ok (although awash with rain) and missing us of course.  Patricia are you ok after your weekend?  Lynne more hugs for your upset, have you dealt with them yet?  Got to go now and sort out crying dogs, back later xxxxxxxx

Teri, I hope you are managing to get through the days (and nights) in one piece. I kn ow how difficult that can be.

Ailsa, I hope you enjoy the weekend ahead. it will do you good. You always seem so busy.

Bren, I am sending you angel hugs and hope you don;t fall too deep into the black hole. Hang on to the bright shiny rope provided by our dear Rosemary and we will haul you back into the penguin huddle.

Rosemary, I do hope you enjoy meeting with the fellow 'penguins'. I am sure you will because they are such a lovely group of people.

Well here is my update. The weekend was very emotional what with the 'Walk in Their Shoes'  walk and then Ray's birthday. This was followed by the shift from hell on Monday. Suffice it to say we were all completely drained both emotionally and physically. I lost the whole of Tuesday and didn't take any refreshment for a whole twentyfour hours. I feel a little better today and am hoping my recently aquired medication will soon start to take effect.

Anyway, I am sending all my love to you all and hope you are enjoying your day in the best way you can.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Morning everyone,

Hope you are all okay (sending hugs Patricia and Teri).  I was going to post last night but ended up getting myself in a bit of a state (thanks for the texts Fiona) and was exhausted and went to bed early.  Basically I was supposed to get the keys to my new house yesterday but the woman is refusing to move out.  They now have applied to the courts but that could take weeks.  The agency have offered her another property but the selfish ***** won't budge.  Hopefully she will see sense but as you can tell I am furious.  If I had a swear jar yesterday I would have been a millionaire.  I have so many things organised that I am now having to change and don't know what to do.  My boyfriend is home tomorrow and he says he will sort it (god knows how he will) but heres hoping.  Plus I am absolutely loaded with the cold so feeling miserable.  Then last night I was packing up my ebay stuff and I had sold a jacket of Wully's.  It was a new jacket and he hadn't worn it much but I went to pack it and couldn't let it go so sat and sobbed for about an hour cuddling it getting myself in a state.  I was just missing him so much and the feel of his jacket was too much.  I know its probably because of all the stress I am under that is making things worse but it is just the week from hell.  Anyway, it can't get any worse!!!  I'm looking forward to London too, although I was thinking I might have to cancel but hey there is nothing I can do here anyway so I might as well although I changed my train to a plane to be quicker.  I had to laugh Rosemary at your faith in my organisation skills (which are normally okay) but this week we could all end up on a street corner with a poke of chips :-)  Right I'm off for a snooze to try and shake this cold and to hide from all stresses for a while. 

Take care

Gayle xxx

Evening All, well it's been a very wet day here and cold I have my heating back on. Gayle I do hope you are getting somewhere with your house, and hope your cold improving. Hope everybody has a great time in London at the weekend and sorry I am going to miss it. Missing you Judi. Think I will do some knitting tonight my friend that usually comes down tonight is on holiday. Sending everybody hugs. Fiona xxxx