Food

Used to keep chickens, can't manage them on my own. But lovely fresh eggs, yumm. No good for you though breton.

We didn't getcall the rain forecast, just a few showers. Bit more weeding today if I'm up to it. 

More gardening for me today too. We inherited a huge amount of ivy, been battling it for ten years, I think it's taking over! Also house next door has been empty nearly a year and garden is a jungle, bindweed creeping in through the fence! Think I need to brave standing on the stepladder today

Ready meals are a life saver. I only cook once every two weeks now. I go to a supermarket to buy stuff. 

I did mabage to cook a big pot if ve snd kentil curry yesterday but I dont really cook often, Tony did all that and I hate cooking and shopping.

Hi Malengwa I'm pretty much the same as yourself.  Lost my lovely husband on 27th February and I'm basically living on absolute crap!! Cheese, crisps, chocolate.  All the comfort foods. I can't be bothered to cook for myself.  I've tried a couple of times but can't eat it. I can't even bear to sit at the dining table without him. I suppose it's all part of the grieving process. Every day I think I must try to eat properly but I just can't be bothered. I hope this will change in the near future as its not good for our bodies!! When Steve was so ill at home, I just got used to grabbing whatever I could as I had very little time to prepare anything whilst looking after him and I've just gotten used to it. We are doing nothing wrong, everything takes time and we are all different. I've still made a cup of tea for him then realised he's not there!! I feel terrible and very sluggish but it's my way of coping.  I'm on low dose antidepressants, they are helping a little but still cant sleep. I hope this helps knowing you are not alone. Eat, drink whatever you fancy if it helps you feel better and take care of yourself.  I really get where you are coming from. 

I keep thinking that I might feel less exhausted if I ate better, but still I can't be bothered to cook. A bit of fruit or salad is as healthy as it gets. I want to feel better physically but on your own there's no one to encourage you, and I can't motivate myself. Seven months of eating rubbish is taking it's toll. It seems we're all in much the same situation.

I buy fruit and salad but they are just not as appealing to me as naughty foods atm!! Most foods get thrown out which is very wasteful!! I manage a pot noodle or;a cup a soup sometimes.  Food doesn't taste the same, eating alone is not the same,  infact nothings the same at all. Don't know if I'll ever get used to this loneliness.  It's absolutely life altering!!

• Yes, the loneliness is very hard to bear. Just having no one to say goodnight to, to make a meal for, to watch tv with. I hate the evenings; I manage to get through the days but every evening I just count down until I can reasonably go to bed. I feel so isolated. I feel that I'm just existing really.

I think most of us have eaten rubbish because we can't face cooking  or even eating a big meal. At first I almost coked if I tried to eat. i lost 15 kilos during the 1st few months after My loss. I drank Juice or a cup of tea , but little food, When I went to but some new bras and knickers cos' mine were falling off .I saw how horrible I looked with my empty skin hanging off me , that made me decide I needed to start eating a little better. . I don;t enjoy meals now.  I was put on a low dose of Ante-depressants after I got sleeping tablets .  , but they did nothing for me . The Doc , upped them 3 weeks ago and I have to back this week to see him. I find Valerian helps with anxiety and helps me sleep, 

I hate the evenings too. I put the tv on but just don't seem to be able to concentrate on anything at all. Go to bed, nobody to snuggle up to!! I hate bedtime as I just can't sleep.  Everything seems to go through my mind. Still lots of paperwork to plod through, it's endless, and what for? I ask myself.  He's never coming back!!