My mental health

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Bereavement is not classed as a mental health issue but I am very worried for my mental health. I have still had no joy getting any counselling, Cruse is just a never ending circle of filling in forms & getting no joy. I don’t want to talk to someone on a phone, I want to talk to a real person that can help with my feelings of guilt & regret, they are eating me up. I know that he would be telling me I’m over thinking but I need someone to help me process how I feel before I go completely mad

Aunty Debs 20 days ago in reply to Toosoon

Hi there, thanks for your reply. I am going to ask my doctor if I can see a mental health nurse, several people have suggested this & it seemed to help. Worth a try

Toosoon 20 days ago in reply to Toosoon

Jim Carrey on Grief

posted March 18th, 2025 at 10:41 AM

Grief is not just an emotion—it’s an unraveling, a space where something once lived but is now gone. It carves through you, leaving a hollow ache where love once resided. In the beginning, it feels unbearable, like a wound that will never close. But over time, the raw edges begin to mend. The pain softens, but the imprint remains—a quiet reminder of what once was. The truth is, you never truly "move on." You move with it. The love you had does not disappear; it transforms. It lingers in the echoes of laughter, in the warmth of old memories, in the silent moments where you still reach for what is no longer there. And that’s okay. Grief is not a burden to be hidden. It is not a weakness to be ashamed of. It is the deepest proof that love existed, that something beautiful once touched your life. So let yourself feel it. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself remember. There is no timeline, no “right” way to grieve. Some days will be heavy, and some will feel lighter. Some moments will bring unexpected waves of sadness, while others will fill you with gratitude for the love you were lucky enough to experience. Honor your grief, for it is sacred. It is a testament to the depth of your heart. And in time, through the pain, you will find healing—not because you have forgotten, but because you have learned how to carry both love and loss together.

I saw this in a video a while ago and for some reason when it’s spoken on the video it’s so powerful not quite the same as just reading it…

MrsVT 20 days ago in reply to Toosoon

WOW.

Just, WOW.
That is powerful.
And beautiful.

Thank you for posting this ️

Aunty Debs 20 days ago in reply to Toosoon

All I can remember is Andrew & I falling out in the last two weeks before he passed. He had a pain in his back & diarrhea, it was so hard for him back & forward to the toilet. We were both mentally & physically exhausted & weren’t always kind to each other, I know we were fighting the cancer but unfortunately it was each other we were saying it to. I obviously forgave him & I’m sure he did me but because he’s not here to tell me I’m left with a heavy pain in my heart I can’t lighten. I left him on his own for the first time in two weeks the day he passed as he was feeling better & wanted to visit his Mum, it was a 150 mile journey so I thought he was ok. When I got back he had passed. The weight of this is just too much to bear some days. I just want some professional help & it’s so hard to get.

PattyK 19 days ago in reply to Aunty Debs

Hello Aunty Debs.

I think I can get where your are coming from in regards to the fighting with one another at the end. Jay and I did a lot of that before he passed but in a way too I knew it was the cancer we were both fighting and yes it was mentally and physically exhausting. I reached out here to Macmillan and used their phone and online chat service which was a big help. I used the service SHOUT also the anonymous text service when I was at my lowest while going through Jays treatment with him. At one point I did not want to be here when I knew he wasn't going to be but had the incentive to reach out to someone because I knew there were people here who still needed me and actually thinking about harming myself was luckily as far as it got. Not long after Jay passed I got on to MacMillan phone counselling I'm not sure if this is still running or not though but you could ask. You got 6 free phone calls from them and it was when it suited you so it could be weekly, monthly or at a time that suited you. Just having that person to phone you and check in on how you were was good also.

Jay actually rallied in the last weeks of his life. He became bedbound at the end up and two weeks before he passed he was sitting up in bed scrolling through his phone or watching TV just as though he was in bed and there was nothing wrong with him but sepsis happened for a 4th time and I think that and his terminal cancer took him two weeks later. Its good too to come to this forum as we can all relate with what one another is going through and you can pick up on issues someone else may be going through that you are too. My best wishes to you my dear. Take Care.

Vicky x

Aunty Debs 19 days ago in reply to PattyK

Thank you so much for your reply. My doctor is calling on Tuesday so hopefully I may get some help. I know I’m not the only one that had fallen out with their person & I know that cancer is a hidden evil in more ways than one I just need help to get my head to understand it xxx

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My mental health

Jim Carrey on Grief