As many of you will probably know. I have not seen family or friends since Sue's funeral, in February.
So on Monday I went to stay at one of my sisters for a couple of nights. I went down on the train and my sister picked me up from the station. I nice talk I mentioned Sue a few times.
Tuesday we went to see my mum with dementia and she recognised me and gave me a lovely smile, she kept repeating her self, I think that might be the last time I see her. She is 6 1/2 stone and so tired,she wants to be with her brothers and sisters (she is the last one alive). She still thinks dad is alive and playing on a computer.
Then I went to see my other sister,who burst into tears when see saw me. When we got back to my other sisters house, she also started crying, she used to be a sister on a itu ward and I am afraid seen a lot of deaths, but she said to me I can't think how horrible that night was for you and what you had to do.
So that night a couple of friends came over and we went to a pud, I had shandies, but more importantly we sat and talked about Sue, we smiled even a laugh and of course a cry. I needed that most of all. So I came home yesterday. I am back to my empty house and nobody to talk to. Every one I saw mentioned about me moving back down to Yorkshire and how they were worried about me on my own up here,and that I would a support. I have always said I would think about after the first year. How can I trust people when they don't ring or come up now, its always me doing the ringing.
Sorry a long ramble.
