We're Supposed to Have a Happy New Year!

I've no idea how that emoji got there - but whatever! 

I haven’t posted on here for a while but just came to say pretty much what you have said. 1 year 9 months and the second Christmas/ New year without him. I really don’t think I’ve moved on at all in some respects. I feel if I talk about him too much people will think I’m being maudlin but I just want him to be remembered. I know he’d want me to move on and be happy but without him I’m nothing. 

Hello to both WDJ and Carpetbagger 

Just the same for me and how I am feeling. Definitely worse this second Christmas.  Have been weeping and sad and very lonely. Seen a few people over the Christmas period which was ok up to a point then I just wanted to get back home. Have had a horrible rash appear on my face so that has been another thing to contend with. I am sure due to stress as I have felt anxious recently on the build up to Christmas. To cap it all my bed broke ! Underneath the slats have snapped. The bed is about 30 years old and Barry brought it to France 23 years ago. I toss and turn so much now, it finally snapped. However who to ask for help ? A lonely widow asking a man up to her bedroom? Not easy I can tell you. Finally asked some lovely friends French couple to look. All will be well. But my face ? 

I do understand how you are feeling. I just hope this year will bring a bit of peace. Not forgetting our loved ones but just trying to find our own way through it.

Hugs to you.

For me this has been the first Christmas without my husband. Christmas itself went OK - I've been busy making sure it was still Christmas for our boys (home from university). But I really felt afraid, approaching New Year. Today my eldest son went back to uni and we took down the decorations - I really dreaded it, it makes the New Year so much more real. A whole year stretching ahead, on my own. With the covid years then 2.5 years of my husband's illness, there are house jobs to do everywhere I look. I feel overwhelmed by the prospect of tackling those jobs + ongoing death admin + working a demanding job 4 days a week...and yet I know I have to go easy on myself and limit what I do -  every time I go 100% for a week I end up having a wobbly couple of days. But how to keep moving forward?

Hello 

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss. The first of firsts I am afraid now. Birthdays and Anniversaries all to bring back bittersweet memories for you.

My advice , such as it is , after just nearly two years since my Barry died, is don't panic ! Yes you feel overwhelmed trying to do everything and then you forget to look after yourself and register your feelings of grief. Honestly, one thing at a time. It takes time but the moving forward is still not an easy path. I call it " going sideways " now and I am on another path but with Barry always close by.

At least you have family but even then they are experiencing their own grief. Try to write things down each day if you can. I started a journal which I still write in now. My feelings, what I have achieved, my memories of our life together.

When you look back at it further down the lane you will be amazed at what you have done. It is a great comfort.

We are all here for you and it has been really helpful to me.

Write whenever you want !

Hugs are there for you